


An Uninvited Soul

by Annibelle_White



Category: The Wicked Years Series - Gregory Maguire, Wicked - All Media Types, Wicked - Schwartz/Holzman
Genre: F/M, Romance, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-25 22:16:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 42,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4978600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annibelle_White/pseuds/Annibelle_White
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elphaba never ran into Fiyero in the City. But a year later, as the Resistance grows stronger, she's sent out the Vinkus to try and sway the Arjiki King to take their side and fight beside him. However, Fiyero had other things in mind for her. Can she do what she was sent to do without letting her feelings come between them?<br/>Fiyeraba<br/>Bookverse</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Six Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note: This story is different. It's more explicit than usual. Let me explain why. In this version of the story, Elphaba and Fiyero did NOT run into one another in the City at the Chapel of St. Glinda that fateful day. Instead, Fiyero goes back to the Vinkus unharmed. And because she has not had her little affair, because she forgets she's human (being with Fiyero brings her back to herself, I think), she actually goes through with killing Madame Morrible. As a result of this, the Resistance is more open in society and war is soon approaching. So when Elphaba is sent to speak with Fiyero about joining their side of the war, she's running from something. She's running from herself, from what she's done. And Fiyero is in a loveless marriage with children who are basically afraid of him and a tribe that doesn't understand him because his education opened his eyes. Both of them are desperate for something, anything, to get them away. That's why they're both the way they are with one another. It's not about even mutual affection, not love, not at first. It's just to take them away - for Elphaba, to be reminded that she's human, that she can feel human things and for Fiyero, to remind him he's more than just a King and a leader.

**Chapter One: Six Years**

 

                  Elphaba paused outside of the cold, stone palace and took a deep breath. He knew she was coming. Well, not exactly. He knew someone from The Resistance was coming. He didn’t know it was her. She hadn’t seen him since she’d dragged Glinda to the City all those years ago and then left her to return alone. She hadn’t seen any of her friends. For the most part, she wasn’t supposed to. This was an exception.

                  Trying to get the Vinkus involved in the war had been the plan for some time, though she had been unaware until recently. They’d done research on her, on her history, and had found out that she knew the Arjiki King from years before. She’d been told to come out here, hoping that they’d have better results if Fiyero was approached by a familiar face. Fiyero was married now with three children, they’d told her.

                  Six years. It had been more than six years since she’d spoken a word to him, but she hadn’t forgotten his face. She wondered if he had changed. She wondered if he looked less like a sweet, naïve boy and more like a man. Had fatherhood changed him? Had marriage? She recalled the sapphire diamonds that had been tattooed on his skin. Those she would recognize, no matter how much time had passed.

                  She had changed, too, of course. Much like his diamonds, however, her green skin would always give her away. But Elphaba was far from the innocent young girl she had been when she had disappeared. She’d seen more of life than she had expected, had lived on less than a meal a day for weeks at a time. She’d slept with men to get her way, had killed, even. There were times when she felt like she wasn’t a person anymore, like she was merely a piece of something bigger. She simply existed, not really being anyone.

                  Swallowing hard, she raised her hand to the knocker on the door and slammed it down hard, listening to it echo along the empty plains surrounding the palace as she drew her cloak tighter around her and gripping her small bag.

                  The door opened and he stood there, shock outlined in his features. His mouth was fuller, his chin more prominent, as though all of his characteristics had become more defined. After a moment, he blinked and quietly said her name. “Elphaba.” It wasn’t a question, nor was it a greeting.

                  She curtseyed quickly and looked back at him. “King Fiyero.”

                  Shaking his head, as though pulling himself back to reality, he stepped aside. “Come in. I… I hadn’t expected you…”

                  She smiled sadly. “I know.”

                  “How long has it been?” He asked amiably, recovering himself.

                  “Quite some time,” she answered politely, feeling strained.

                  “Why don’t I introduce you to my family? I hadn’t realized it would be you, or I would’ve had them at the door to greet you as well.” Fiyero shut the door behind her and called out, “Sarima, could you please bring the children down for just a moment?”

                  There was a commotion somewhere up the winding staircase and, after a moment, a squat, dumpy woman appeared with three young children. “What did you want?” The woman asked, exasperated.

                  “This is Elphaba, she’s… an old friend from school. Elphaba, this is my wife, Sarima, and our children: Manek, Irji and Nor.”

                  Elphaba nodded, noticing how the children’s heads were bowed, as though they were fearful to make eye contact with their own father. She also noticed the way he looked at them, as though he were uncertain about them. Having a king for a father must be somewhat intimidating. She wondered if Fiyero had felt the same way about his father that his children clearly felt about him.

                  Sarima sighed. “Nice to meet you.” She turned to Fiyero and said shortly, “My sisters are waiting in the other room, and you interrupted Manek’s studies.” Without even waiting for a response, she ushered the children back up the stairs.

                  Fiyero’s cheeks darkened and he shrugged sheepishly. “Why don’t we discuss things in my study?”

                  Elphaba followed Fiyero down the hall into a room with two bookshelves, a large couch and an ornate desk. She sat at the chair across from the desk while Fiyero sat behind it.

                  The moment she sat down, he sighed. “Is this where you went, Elphie? When you disappeared? To work for the Resistance?”

                  “Yes.” She knew he expected her to say more, but she wouldn’t.

                  “We missed you. Glinda was heartbroken and your sister… she was so angry.”

                  “I can imagine.” She put her bag down beside her chair. “Let’s get down to this. War is coming, Fiyero, and you need to make a decision as to which side you’re on.”

                  “That’s it, Elphaba? No conversation, no small talk?”

                  She groaned. “Is that what you want? Fine. Ask whatever you want.”

                  He shook his head. “You really don’t care? You don’t want to talk? Have you heard from anyone? Or have you gone years without a word from anyone you cared about?”

                  She lowered her eyes. “Maybe I’m a little curious, but it’s best I don’t find out. I’m only here with you because they asked me, Fiyero. Yes, I’ve been with the Resistance since about the time I left. No, I haven’t spoken with anyone. You’re the first person to know me by my real name in a long time.” Elphaba hadn’t known what he would ask her, how he would react. She didn’t want to get emotional with him.

                  “What do they call you? Your people?”

                  “Fae.”

                  “It’s pretty,” he said.

                  “Look, we need to talk about what you’re going to do. Honestly, I’m surprised you allowed anyone to come out here at all.”

                  “You’re right, though. War is coming. And with Madame Morrible dead, it’s become clearer that your side is stronger than people might have thought.”

                  At the sound of Madame Morrible’s name, Elphaba flinched. She’d been told killing the old woman was a distraction from a larger coup, an assassination plot on the Wizard – one that had failed. She, however, hadn’t failed. There had been casualties along with Horrible Morrible, but it was a price that had to be paid for the greater good, she’d been assured. And as long as she reminded herself that she had no soul, no real self, what she had done didn’t upset her. But for some reason, when it had come from Fiyero… but he didn’t know what she’d done. And he wouldn’t. She steeled herself and continued the conversation. “We are. And we will win. You can help. Think about it, Fiyero. The Wizard treats your people like barbarians, like you don’t matter. If you were one of the leaders in overthrowing him, you’d have more clout.”

                  He leaned back in his chair. “And what happens to you?”

                  “I’m supposed to stay here for some time, try to convince you and give you the best advice I can. If you agree, I’ll probably be expected to stay longer, handle magical things for you and be your liaison with the Resistance. But you’re getting ahead of yourself, Fiyero.”

                  “Right. And what happens if you lose? What happens to my people if the Gale Force comes out here after them?”

                  “You fight. Fiyero, the Wizard barely tolerates you. He’ll probably start a genocide of your people when he’s finished with the Animals and the Quadlings. You can’t let that happen.”

                  He considered her for a moment. “I suppose I’ll think about it. In the meantime, I don’t see why we can’t catch up. You’ve wondered what became of your friends, your family, haven’t you? I’m still in contact with many of our old friends, Elphaba. I can tell you how they’ve been.”

                  Why did he insist on making this personal? Then again, that’s probably what her cell leader had wanted when she’d been sent out here. A reminder of the good old days couldn’t hurt her chances at persuading him. “Why not? But first why don’t you tell me about _you_. You have a wife and three children. You’re a king. Things have changed. Tell me about all of that.”

                  He waved dismissively. “You knew I was arranged to be married and I needed an heir. What else is there to tell?”

                  “Marriage and children change things, Fiyero. They change people.”

                  “So does running off into the City and hiding out for more than five years,” he shot back.

                  “You act like my leaving hurt you in some way. You barely knew me.”

                  “I wanted to know you. And things… the whole group of us were never the same after that, Elphaba. Although I don’t know if it was so much you leaving as it was the whole experience at the Philosophy Club.”

                  She’d almost forgotten about that. They’d all been headed that way when she and Glinda had taken off. Elphaba had always wanted to know what had happened there – out of mere curiosity, of course. “What happened?”

                  He rested his elbows on his desk and rested his head on his hands. “Things got out of hand. Tibbett was so traumatized he never spoke again. Last I heard he was in a home for invalids.”

                  Tibbett? Outgoing, bold and effeminate Tibbett, unable to speak? She could see from Fiyero’s face that he didn’t want to go into any more detail than he’d given her. “What about everyone else?”

                  “They’re fine. Crope was broken-hearted for a while, but he moved on. We all did. He and Glinda became closer friends. They’d both lost a close friend.”

                  She stared at her lap, letting the minor barb he’d thrown sink in. “That was cruel, Fiyero.”

                  “It was true.”

                  “Why are you doing this?”

                  “Because I want you to know you were missed, Elphaba. I want you to understand what you ran away from.”

                  “Stop putting it that way! I didn’t run away. I went to fight for what I believed in, Fiyero. I had to. You weren’t in our meeting with the Wizard. You can’t possibly know what I’ve had to do. You make it sound like I ran away and had a simple, easy life. It was anything but!”

                  He raised his eyebrows. “Oh? What have you been up to, exactly?”

                  “I can’t tell you. It’s not safe.”

                  “Even if I agreed to fight for you?”

                  “Are you going to?”

                  “I don’t know. That’s not an easy decision.”

                  “Even if you did, though, no, I wouldn’t tell you. I can’t, Fiyero.”

                  “Tell me something, anything, Elphaba. Even if it’s not what you did, tell me how you felt, what you’ve been through. Give me something, Fae.”

                  She cringed at the use of her code name. Quietly, she admitted, “I missed all of you, too, you know. Of course I’ve wondered what happened to everyone. But it was best I stayed away.”

                  “Then let me tell you about everyone, and then you can join us for dinner. Sarima’s sisters prepare a good meal, I can promise you that. You’ll be staying for a while anyway, won’t you?”

                  “Yes.”

                  “Good. The guest room is set up for you. You’re welcome here.”

                  But she wasn’t so sure she believed that.


	2. Old Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba and Fiyero reminisce on old times, though they find that things between them have changed and gotten more tense.

**Chapter Two: Old Times**

 

                  “Really? If she’s so miserable, why doesn’t Milla just leave?” Elphaba laughed, despite herself. “And why does Boq _tell_ you these things? I mean, that’s not exactly something I’d put in my holiday letter!”

                  “He was never much for discretion,” Fiyero smiled. “And as for Milla, I don’t think she could take the embarrassment of leaving. She’d sooner kill herself, as she so often tries to do.”

                  She couldn’t help it. “Who else do you still hear from?”

                  “I do see Avaric on occasion, when I go to the City. He spends most of his time in Margreavate.”

                  She shrugged. “Never was fond of him.”

                  “Glinda got married.”

                  “Of course she did. That was her plan, wasn’t it?” Elphaba rolled her eyes. Glinda could’ve done better than to just marry and become a society wife. For a moment, the thought crept in that maybe, if she’d stayed, she’d have had more of an influence on Glinda, had been able to show Glinda what her true potential was… but she shut that thought out quickly.

                  “I believe her husband’s name is Sir Chuffrey. She still spends a lot of time with Crope, who does a lot in the theaters. They both spend winters in the City.” He paused. “Have you been in the City this whole time?”

                  “Most of it, yes,” she told him.

                  “And you’ve never been recognized? By anyone?”

                  “I’ve been very careful.”

                  “It surprises me a little, you know. You were always so independent, and now you’re working with this large group.”

                  “I can’t make change by myself, Fiyero.”

                  “And you don’t get lonely?”

                  “So what if I do? I’m doing what I have to, and I won’t burden anyone with my loneliness. I can’t endanger someone’s life because I long for human connection. My needs don’t matter that much.”

                  “You act like you’re not a person.”

                  “I’m not, not completely. I have no soul, Fiyero, no self.”

                  “You can’t mean that.”

                  “I can and I do.”

                  He sighed heavily. “Maybe that’s how you justify disappearing, and putting us all at a distance. But you are a person, Elphaba, and the way you feel matters.”

                  “This conversation is going nowhere, Fiyero. Why don’t we go back to talking about your life? Or the people we knew? Tell me about your wife, your family.”

                  “I’m married. Sarima is very… fertile. She’s, well, she’s shrewd. And her sisters…” His face flushed.

                  “What?”

                  “Elphaba, I don’t think you understand what it’s like out here and if I say this, you’re going to be horrified.”

                  “You underestimate my ability to understand cultural differences, Fiyero. You think I’m going to judge you?” She folded her arms across her chest.

                  “I might as well have married all of them. Polygamy isn’t frowned upon, though I won’t do it.”

                  “What are you saying?”

                  “Sarima’s job was to give me children. She’s done that. Sex isn’t something she’s interested in often. There have been times when she’s suggested I go visit one of her sisters’ rooms at night.”

                  Elphaba clapped a hand over her mouth. “Did you?”

                  “No! For one thing, I don’t find them appealing. For another, it’s a power play with her and I know it, though I don’t think she realizes that I do. But such things are not taboo out here. You said the Wizard thinks my people are uncivilized. Haven’t you ever wondered why?”

                  “I know why, Fiyero. You don’t embrace the technologies and industries that the Wizard worships, that he credits himself with bringing to Oz. He takes that as an insult and he refuses to live and let live. Your people can live how they want as long as no one is hurting anyone. It’s not his business. That’s why I’m here. That’s why you need to fight.”

                  “Back to that again, huh?”

                  “Always, Fiyero.”

                  “You realize I can’t make this decision so quickly, right?”

                  “I do. And if you choose to do this, I will stay and help you prepare. That’s what I was told to do. If you choose the other side, I can’t guarantee you’ll be safe.”

                  “Not choosing isn’t choosing the other side, Fae.”

                  “That still means I can’t help you. Fiyero, if you get attacked, we will back you up. Would the Wizard do that for you?”

                  “Probably not. For Oz’s sake, let me think about this. Come, have dinner. First, I’ll show you to your room.” He stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her out of her chair.

                  Her hand felt hot in his and she looked at him for a moment, watching his eyes change. As the moment passed, she pulled her hand away. “I can get up myself, thank you.”

                  “I’m well aware.” He opened the door and strode away, expecting her to follow.

                  She grabbed her things and hurried after him.

                  “Your room is here. Put your things down. Dinner will be in twenty minutes. I’ll see you then.” He stood in the doorway as she stepped inside and put her bag down. Fiyero bit his lip, opening his mouth as if to speak, but his mouth closed again soon after and he walked away.

                  She sat down on the bed and buried her face in her hands, fighting back the waves of emotion that her reunion with Fiyero had brought to light. This had been a mistake. She should’ve fought harder not to be sent out here, should’ve lied and said that they hadn’t gotten along. Maybe then they would’ve sent someone else.

                  But she was here, and she had to make it work. Convincing him to join their cause was her job and she would do her best. She couldn’t let him get to her. But she’d seen the broken look in his eyes, the way he talked about his family, and her heart ached for him. Of course, he had bigger problems than a wife who was cold and children who were afraid of him. She just needed to keep reminding herself that was why she was here, not as his friend.

                  She watched quietly at dinner, not saying much. The three children chattered amongst themselves while Sarima and her sisters yammered on about the latest recipe. No one bothered to ask her much, and she was glad for that. Once or twice, she’d caught a glare from Sarima or one of her sisters, but that didn’t faze her. And, unsurprisingly, Fiyero was equally silent at the meal.

                  As their plates were gathered, Fiyero said, “That was very good. Thank you, ladies.” He kissed his wife on the forehead and waved the other women away. The children had already scurried off. When the small dining hall was empty, he turned to her. “I’m sorry if that was uncomfortable. They’re not exactly used to visitors, so they pretty much just ignored you.”

                  “I notice they did the same to you,” she replied evenly.

                  He shot her an unpleasant glance. “My children live in their own world, as many children do. And my wife… she didn’t go to school, neither did her sisters. There hasn’t been much for us to talk about, since there’s little about the goings-on of the tribe and the political implications of what’s happening here that she would even understand.”

                  “That’s accurate.” She turned to head up to her room. “We’ll talk more about everything tomorrow, I suppose.”

                  He grabbed her wrist. “Elphaba, wait. You can’t tell me you don’t want to catch up more, to talk about anything.”

                  But she wouldn’t have it, not now. “What is wrong with you? You sit there and judge me for leaving everyone and everything I loved while you are clearly just as unhappy, if not more, than I. You don’t get to judge me, Fiyero. All you have left is the small connections you still have from the ‘good old days,’ at Shiz while all I have is the Resistance. I will not take this from you.”

                  He drew back, clearly stung. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to talk you, Elphaba. I didn’t mean to make you feel defensive.”

                  “Don’t lie. You’ve been trying to break me all day. I’m not the same pathetically clueless girl you know back at Shiz.”

                  “I know that. I was just trying to figure out who you _are_ now, what parts of you I know and what is new.”

                  “I’m not here to get reacquainted.” She tore her arm away. “I’m going to bed. You should do the same. I’m sure Sarima is waiting.”

                  “She sleeps in another room. I wouldn’t know.” He said sadly.

                  The heartbreak in his voice stopped her for just a moment and she turned back to him. “You can fix that. Why don’t you actually talk to the poor woman? You do have things in common, you know. You both grew up in the same place and you share three children.”

                  “Maybe I don’t want to fix it.”

                  “Then stop looking at me with those pathetically melancholy eyes and go live your life. I need to write a letter.” She rushed back to her room, glad he wasn’t calling after her.

                  Elphaba wrote a quick letter – coded, of course – to the leader of her cell explaining Fiyero’s hesitant reaction, which was actually what they’d assumed they’d get from him. No one would jump into a war like this without a lot of forethought and planning. She thought about asking to come back to the City, to beg them to send someone else, but she knew her pleas would go ignored. She’d endured much worse for her cause and no one had any pity; she hated pity, anyway.

                  When the letter was folded into a small envelope, she left it sitting on her bedside table and stood at the window, looking out at the dry plains before her. This is where Fiyero had grown up, the only world he’d known until coming to Shiz. No wonder the poor boy had looked so frightened that first day she’d seen him. He wasn’t a boy anymore, nor was he as naïve or afraid. It would’ve been much easier if he was.

                  She didn’t feel right about the exchange that had just happened between them in the dining hall. He was lonely, and she understood that. Fiyero had no one educated to talk to, no old school chums to chat with. But they hadn’t been close – maybe if she’d stayed – and this wasn’t about reminiscing on old times. This was about war, and it had to stay that way.

                  The way he had looked at her made her uncomfortable. It was almost as though he was drowning and was pleading with her to rescue him. But she would only drag him deeper, and she knew that. Getting him involved in this war could likely kill him and his people, but they needed the manpower. Of course, she wouldn’t tell him that much.

                  She sighed and climbed under the worn quilt that lay on her thin mattress, closing her eyes and hoping, like she usually did, that she could push the thoughts away for a few blessed hours and get some sleep.


	3. The Reasons Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As their conversations become more intense, Fiyero crosses a line.

**Chapter Three: The Reasons Why**

 

                  “I’ve written a letter to the leaders of the Yunamata and Scrow asking them what they think might be advisable,” he told her the next morning after breakfast.

                  “Understandable. If they would like, they are welcome to meet with me as well. I don’t have to stay here. I can head that way and give you some space and time to think and weigh your options.”

                  “No, no, stay.” He said a little too quickly. “They can come here if they would like to discuss this.” Fiyero smiled at her. “It’s nice having you here.”

                  “I’m not here to keep you company or entertain you, Fiyero. You understand that, right?”

                  “I do. It doesn’t mean you can’t have a conversation with me, anyway. I’m in no mood to discuss the possibilities of going to war today. I’m not going to insist that you talk to me, but I wouldn’t mind a healthy debate or political discussion. It’s been too long since I’ve had one.”

                  “A political discussion will probably lead you right back to the war, Fiyero.”

                  “As long as you’re not pressuring me to make a decision, I’m fine with that. In fact, why don’t you start by telling me why _you_ hate the Wizard so much, Fae?” He folded his arms across his desk and looked at her expectantly.

                  “There are so many reasons.”

                  “Start with one.”

                  “The senseless killings of the Animals and their sympathizers. All they ever wanted was equal treatment, and he couldn’t give them that so he decided to silence them, instead. And when making them keep quiet didn’t work, he decided to kill them.”

                  “This is about Dr. Dillamond, is it?”

                  She glared at him. “You weren’t even at Shiz, then. You couldn’t possibly understand.”

                  “You don’t think I’ve seen pointless death? Half the time my tribe is fighting another tribe over things that don’t even matter, Fae. I get that. It’s why I’ve tried so hard to keep things civil since I took the throne. For my father it was all about pride, but I’d gladly lose a little pride in order to keep people alive.”

                  The vehemence with which he spoke shocked her; the passion threw her for a moment. “I’m not saying you haven’t seen death. I’m saying the Wizard is abusing his power. That’s not what was happening out here.”

                  “No, it wasn’t. Unfortunately, sometimes my people are just as uncivilized as the Wizard thinks they are, and that’s what was happening out here.”

                  “Your people aren’t uncivilized, Fiyero. They’re just different. Like the Quadlings. And when he’s done with them, he’ll…” She stopped, remembering that he’d asked her not to continue to try and persuade him, though she meant every word she said. “I apologize.”

                  “No, no, go on. Tell me why you think we’re next, Elphaba.”

                  “Does the Wizard ever bother to meet you when you’re in the City, Fiyero?”

                  He lowered his head. “No.”

                  “Not even with his ridiculous contraption?”

                  “Not once.”

                  “But he sees the Munchkinland Eminences when they’re in town. He speaks with the Gillkinese nobles, doesn’t he?”

                  “He does.”

                  “Before he started killing Quadlings, he began ignoring their leaders. It’s a sign. And you’ve never noticed the Gale Force surveying your borders or your land before? Because I’ve heard word of it. There’s no way you haven’t, Oh Chieftain of the Arjikis,” she spat mockingly.

                  “I have. It was nothing.”

                  “And what makes you so sure? Who told you?”

                  “I rode out and met them once.”

                  “So _they_ told you? And you believe that?”

                  He slammed his fists down on his desk, scaring her. “You don’t understand what it is like out here, Elphaba! I have to be careful. I do realize the Wizard isn’t fond of us. If I made a big deal of the Gale Force coming out here, we’d be dead. Their weapons are more advanced than ours, and their people better educated! I can’t afford to fight him.”

                  “Not alone,” she whispered.

                  He got up and walked to the window. “For Oz’s sake, tell me what you can offer me that won’t get all of us killed? Or do you care at all?”

                  “More troops. Actual weapons. Magic.” But she knew that wouldn’t be enough. His people would never learn how to use such things. They’d end up being only shields for the more advanced troops that would come after. The Vinkuns would be used only to weaken the Wizard’s forces before the stronger magic and complicated weaponry came their way. Maybe half of them would live, if they got lucky. She wasn’t much for the idea of genocide, but she reminded herself that they had no choice. These people would be dead in years or maybe months if they didn’t fight.

                  “I took a risk allowing anyone from the Resistance to come out here at all. If they found out you’re here…” He shook his head.

                  “Why did you do it, Fiyero? If it’s such a risk, then why?”

                  “Because you’re right, Elphaba. We’re probably next. And he’s never been fair to us. The question is whether that’s worth fighting for. If we’re quiet and don’t make trouble, maybe he’ll let us be, maybe the tribes can flee Oz. We’re nomadic for the most part; living outside of Oz wouldn’t be difficult. But jumping into this would mean death, and a lot of it. Running would be safer.”

                  “You aren’t a coward.”

                  “I have more than just me to worry about, though.”

                  She knew he was thinking about his children, his people. Elphaba softened a little despite herself. “I know. This can’t be easy. You have a lot of responsibility for one person.”

                  “You would’ve had quite a bit, too, wouldn’t you? Eminent Thropp?”

                  She knew her great-grandfather was still alive. She’d kept up-to-date on political goings-on enough to know that. When he did finally die, she knew it would be Nessa to take his seat. “I never wanted it.”

                  “And you think I wanted to be king?”

                  “I didn’t shirk my responsibility, if that’s what you’re trying to say. I had a greater one, to this cause, to making things right. I needed to do this, no matter how hard it made it. This was the way I had to live.”

                  “And how, exactly, have you lived, Elphaba? Do you even eat? You were underground for years.”

                  “I eat.” When she could. She wasn’t going to tell him that this was the first time she’d had three meals a day since Shiz.

                  “What about living? Do you have a home? Do you have friends? A job?”

                  “This is my job. These people are… my comrades.” No, they weren’t her friends. “And I have a place. It will probably be gone when I get back. It doesn’t have your modern luxuries, since no one even knows anyone is living there, but it was a roof over my head.” She’d had an old bedroll and a torn blanket, a cat to keep the mice at bay and a change of clothes. That’s all she needed, wasn’t it?

                  “Are you happy?”

                  “I’m doing what’s right. I don’t think it’s about being happy, not for me, Fiyero. I couldn’t live knowing what was going on, how our world was working. Even if it meant I had to suffer, I had no choice. You understand that, don’t you?”

                  “I don’t. But I doubt you can understand the way I live. I don’t mean to pass judgment. We’re both different. That’s all there really is to it.”

                  She found herself smiling a little at that. “Perhaps that is all.” After a moment, she asked what she’d been afraid to ask. “Have you heard anything of my sister?”

                  He shook his head. “Not since Shiz. I know she took a sorcery course or two. After that, she went back to Clowen Grounds. I know she threatened to kill you if she ever saw you again. But that’s it, I’m sorry to say. I can write to Glinda or Avaric, ask if they’ve heard from her.”

                  She grabbed his hand across the desk “Don’t. That’ll make them suspicious. I don’t… I don’t want to speak to them. I don’t want them to know. I can’t.”

                  He cocked his head and looked at her for a moment, then nodded. “That’s your prerogative. I won’t invade your privacy. But I know Glinda missed you. She probably still does.”

                  “Please don’t talk about that,” she murmured, swallowing hard. Glinda and Nessa had been what had made leaving the hardest, and she’d avoided thinking of them at all costs. She shouldn’t have even asked about her sister, but she hadn’t been able to help herself.

                  “I’m sorry, Fae,” he whispered, squeezing her hand and then dropping it. “It can’t be easy, can it?”

                  “No, and I’d rather not talk about it any further.” She hugged herself for a moment. “I’m glad that you’re doing well, though. I realize maybe your personal life isn’t what you wanted, but at least you’re alive and healthy. It does make me happy to hear that most of the old group is doing the same.”

                  He reached across his desk and touched her chin for a moment. “It is nice to see you, too.” Fiyero drew his hand back and sighed. “And I’m not nearly as unhappy as I might seem. I have three healthy children and a fertile wife. What’s there to complain about?” He laughed, though it seemed forced.

                  Her cheeks were burning and she folded her hands in her lap. “What about your parents? Are they still around? Did you have siblings? I don’t recall learning much about your family when we were at Shiz.”

                  “My father died in a fight with one of the other tribes. It’s… it’s part of the reason I wanted to stop all the infighting. As you well know, we have enough danger from outside the Vinkus. Fighting amongst ourselves will do no good. And my mother died shortly after I was born, so I have no siblings.”

                  “That’s terrible. I’m sorry.”

                  “It’s the way of life out here. If I were to die tomorrow, my children would probably go on much like I did. Sarima might be a little angry and sad, but she’d move on just as well.”

                  Her father had never moved on from her mother. He had dwelt on her death for years, always reminding his daughters what their mother would’ve wanted. Frex had always looked at Shell with a mixture of pride and hatred; pride for his only son and his only normal offspring, hatred for the child who had taken Melena from him. She merely shook her head.

                  “Like I said, things out here are different. Appetites are different, love is different, marriage is different, so is family. I was born into this. It’s who I’m supposed to be.”

                  “But is it who you wanted to be, Fiyero? Or do you want to be more? You could be the king that frees his people from the Wizard’s clutches, who fights for what is right.”

                  “I know that, Elphaba, and you promised we’d drop that.”

                  She cackled softly. “Force of habit, I suppose.”

                  He chewed on his lower lip for a moment. “Can I ask you something?”

                  “Nothing’s stopped you before.”

                  “This is a bit more of a delicate question.”

                  “Really? You’ve dug into my personal life, into my family, and into my reasons for living the way I do. What could you possibly have to ask that’s more delicate than that?”

                  “Fine. May I take you to bed?”

                  “ _What_?”


	4. Being Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the tension between Elphaba and Fiyero comes to a boiling point, Elphaba makes a decision.

**Chapter Four: Being Alive**

 

                  “It won’t make a difference in if I choose to fight beside your cause or not, before you think that’s what I’m after. I’m not going to blackmail you into sleeping with me. This is your decision.” He was sitting back in his chair, speaking nonchalantly. He acted as though he hadn’t just propositioned her.

                  She barely had words to respond. “Fiyero, you’re married.”

                  “And she doesn’t need to know. Even if she did, I told you that things out here are different.”

                  Elphaba looked at him, noticing now that he’d worn a shirt more open at the neck, watching another diamond trail down towards his chest. She remembered she’d wondered once or twice at Shiz if they were everywhere, if they kept going. Sweet Oz, how she’d wanted to touch them, even then. But this wasn’t about that right now. “Why?”

                  “Because I want to. I can bring you pleasure, believe me. I’m not a selfish lover.”

                  “Oh? Would your wife feel the same?” She hadn’t meant to be cruel, but his words had thrown her and her first line of defense was always cruelty.

                  “My wife was told she was supposed to lie there and never enjoy herself. She’s been afraid of sex since she was six. I could try my best with her, but she doesn’t want to enjoy it. Somehow I think you need a little release.”

                  “And you’re so certain you can give me that?”

                  “If you’ll let me, I will give you a pleasure you have never known,” he said simply.

                  She laughed. What else was she supposed to do? This was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. “What makes you so certain I haven’t known pleasure?”

                  He raised his eyebrows.

                  “I have, you know.” Now she was feeling defensive. That hadn’t been how this conversation was supposed to go. And yes, once or twice when she’d been with other men she’d felt a sort of pleasure, not necessarily the strongest, but it had made her whimper just a little. But that wasn’t his business. “This is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.”

                  “It’s just sex, Fae.”

                  She got up. “Go find one of your sisters-in-law.”

                  “So that’s a ‘no,’ then?”

                  “You’re insane!”

                  “Fine. Maybe I am. But I want it. Tell me you don’t.”

                  She looked at him for a moment, all the tension from the last few days building up in her until she could take it no more and she blinked away tears. “Damn it, Fiyero. You don’t want this. You can’t. Not if you knew…” Because he didn’t know any of it. He didn’t know that she’d killed Morrible, that she’d slept with men just to make them go along with her cause, that she’d never felt bad about a thing she’d done, that she’d gone numb. And he didn’t have to know. She felt the need for him as it pooled in her belly, warmed her body, made her more conscious than she could remember.

                  He got up and grabbed her, wiping the tears out of her eyes. “Don’t, please.” And he pulled her waist against him and she could feel just how badly he wanted her. Slowly, he claimed her mouth with his own, teasing his tongue through her lips and into her mouth, lingering for just a moment before stopping to breathe. “I do want you. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a woman the way I want you right now.”

                  She looked at him with wide eyes. “I did not come out here to sleep with you.” But she couldn’t deny the way the feel of him swollen against her made her thighs dampen with lust.

                  He buried his hands in her hair. “You can’t be on the clock all the time, Fae. Have a little fun.”

                  “Fun? Fiyero, you get a good time and what do I get? The whorish feeling of a sleeping with another woman’s husband?” But her body still hinted at more, wanted more. She knew she'd get something out of this, though she was reluctant to admit it.

                  “You really don’t think I can give you what you need?” He had a cocky grin that went all the way to his eyes. “Fine. Let me show you. I can do more to you with my hands and my mouth than you could ever imagine. I’ll stay dressed the whole time. If you don’t like it, we won’t continue.” One hand slid up her waist and faintly cupped one of her breasts through her dress.

                  She felt her body respond to him, her breasts go taught, her waist press just barely against his. “In your office?”

                  “There’s a couch,” he murmured, kissing from her cheek down the curve of her chin to her neck. “Lie back and let me give you a taste of what I want to do to you, sweet Fae.”

                  She could feel her knees trembling, feel the want tightening in her belly. “I… perhaps.”

                  He pressed against her again, “Just this, I promise. Even if you enjoy yourself, I will wait to revisit my suggestion…”

                  Helpless, she nodded as she backed slowly towards the couch.

                  “Take off your dress first,” he told her. “Or should I take it off for you?” She felt his hand go to the buttons in the back of her dress and she merely stood there, feeling them quickly unfasten each button until she stood bare before him.

                  “What if someone comes in?” She asked breathlessly.

                  “The door is locked.”

                  “You knew you were going to do this.”

                  “And if I did?” He pushed her gently onto the couch, the velvet plush beneath her skin. “Are you going to keep talking or can I touch you now?”

                  Her heart was pounding as she laid back, feeling him clamber over her, his lips meeting hers again. His tongue pressed into her mouth, caressing hers, exploring her mouth as his hands slowly circled her breasts. Fiyero’s tongue dueled with hers as she began to find her rhythm, to take what she wanted. He groped at her breast tightly and she squealed as he brought the tip between his thumb and forefinger, pinching lightly. He gave her a quick smile and kissed his way down to them before capturing a nipple in his mouth as she arched her back to him.

                  His mouth was hot and his tongue circled the nipple softly until he bit down and she clutched at his shirt. She was barely aware of one of his hands on her thighs, parting them softly. Her legs opened easily for him and he began to tease at that sweet nub of nerves between her legs as he kissed his way across towards her other breast. As her panting grew heavier, he growled, “That’s it.” He began to work on her other breast as a finger dipped inside of her, rocking painfully slowly until she pressed her hips towards him and he began to move faster.

                  He thrust a second finger into her and she moaned softly at the feeling. His thumb began to rub carefully at that nub again, bringing her higher. She’d forgotten everything at that moment, her hips moving with his hands as he bit down on her other nipple so hard that she cried out.

                  “Come for me,” he whispered, moving faster.

                  She felt the ecstasy rush through her and she cried out, the feeling unlike what she’d felt before, stronger and more powerful. “Fiyero, oh yes!”

                  He was giving her a wicked smile as her breathing began to return to normal and he put a hand between her legs when she began to close them. “I’m not done. I said I’d use my mouth, too.”

                  She was unable to resist and simply opened her legs wider as he kissed down her abdomen, his hand slipping beneath her bottom to lift her center closer to his mouth. Gods, she felt completely alive. It had been years since she’d felt like she was a part of herself, since she’d been so aware of her body. Each movement of his lips, of his tongue made her skin tingle. His lips descended on her and she felt a high-pitched sound leave her mouth. Parting her folds with his fingers, he pushed his tongue into her and she closed her eyes, wanting to focus only on the way he felt. His tongue skillfully probed her depths, finding one sweet spot after another, making her moan and clutch at the velvet cushions beneath her. “Sweet Oz.”

                  When he brought his hand back down to that mound of flesh above her opening, she lost control, her legs shaking as she cried out in release. He rode the waves of climax with her, one after the other, continuing to move his tongue until the tremors had subsided and her breathing finally slowed. Smugly, he smiled at her. “When I come to your bedroom tonight, will you let me?”

                  “Let you what? Fuck me senseless? Yes.”

                  He climbed over her and placed a kiss on her lips. “Good.” He stood up and straightened out his shirt. “Now, lunch is in a few minutes and I need to… I’ll see you down there. You should dress.”

                  She stared after him as he left the room hurriedly. And then she realized lunch meant his wife would be there. After what she’d just done, could she possibly look that woman in the eyes? She didn’t mind that he was married, but she’d rather not have to deal with the woman in person. It was easier to keep her distance when she wasn’t surrounded by his family.

                  Elphaba sat up and grabbed her clothes from the floor, noting that the cushions she’d lain on were damp with her own sweat and fluid. How much time had passed? She could’ve sworn they’d only just eaten breakfast. Hastily, she rearranged the cushions and dressed. From what she understood, Sarima never entered Fiyero’s office, but she’d rather not take the risk that anyone find out what had just happened.

                  How had he done this to her? The men she’d been with before had been out of either curiosity or as a method of persuasion. Never had she allowed someone to touch her simply because she wanted him to. And here she was thinking about undressing him tonight, of learning his body with her hands and her lips, of counting every diamond on him. It was like waking up after being in a state of dreaming, finally feeling herself come alive.

                  She went to her room and glanced in the mirror. Her hair would need to be tamed a bit. She ran a brush through it quickly and braided it again so that it fell in a long strand behind her. No matter how she tried, she couldn’t get the flushed excitement from her cheeks. Maybe it wasn’t there at all and she was seeing things now.

                  Sarima nodded at her in acknowledgement as she sat down and she nodded back, looking down the table at Fiyero for just a moment. He was apparently lost in thought, not looking at any of them but staring down intently. Elphaba looked away and smiled kindly as food was placed in front of her. She shoveled her food into her mouth quickly, desperate to escape the strained silence of the dining hall.

                  For her part, Sarima chatted aimlessly with her sisters, occasionally admonishing one of the children for playing with their food or trying to talk and chew at the same time. Once or twice, the woman looked over at Fiyero, at one point asking if he was enjoying his meal. “Of course. Your cooking is always wonderful, Sarima,” he said blankly.

                  As soon as she finished her food, Elphaba pushed her plate away. “Thank you so much for this delicious meal. I do need to write a quick letter to my colleagues in the City this afternoon.” Without so much as another word, she fled from the table and shut herself in her room. She needed to compose herself before they met in his office again.

                  When she’d regained composure, she put her hair into a stern bun and walked towards Fiyero’s office. No matter what they’d done, she was here for a reason and that reason was to convince him to fight beside the Resistance in the coming war. He looked up when she knocked on the doorframe – the door already open. “Come in. And close the door.”

                  She swallowed hard and did as she was told.


	5. Too Much to Handle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba finds her affair with Fiyero to be a bit more than she bargained for.

**Chapter Five: Too Much To Handle**

 

                  She felt his eyes follow her as she crossed the room and sat herself primly in the chair opposite his desk. He had tortured her with teasing, and she could easily do the same. “So, where were we?”

                  Hunger danced in his eyes. “I think you know exactly where we were.”

                  “Of course. That. We did promise we’d have that _discussion_ later tonight, though, right? After dinner?” She crossed her legs. “I think we need to continue the other conversation, the one about the war.”

                  “I told you what we did or will do has no effect on my decision…”

                  “I didn’t imply that it would. But it is why I’m out here. You said that I need to be off the clock sometimes. But right now, I need to be on the clock. At night, maybe I won’t be.” She licked her lips slowly and gave him a look.

                  He groaned softly. “You play just as dirty as I do, don’t you?”

                  “I can. I was… a little thrown off before. But now I can handle this game.”

                  “So this is a game, then?”

                  “I’ll show you tonight,” she told him.

                  “I can’t wait.”

                  After a pause, she shifted in her chair. “So, before we do move on, maybe we should talk about a few things. I know you don’t care, but Fiyero, I don’t want Sarima to know. I have to stay here for an undetermined amount of time and she’s already giving me the evil eye. And it doesn’t concern her.”

                  “Fair enough.”

                  “You will not come to my room unless previously agreed on earlier in the day or days before. Understood?”

                  “But…”

                  “I let you take control before, Fiyero, and I probably will again, but you need to follow my rules if we’re going to do this.”

                  He gave her a pleading look, but nodded. “If you insist.”

                  “I need time, Fiyero. I don’t need you in my bed every night. If you can’t respect that, I won’t do this at all.”

                  He nodded.

                  “We need to take precautions to keep this a secret. You need to be careful on your way to my room, and you can never act inappropriately towards me in front of anyone. You understand?”

                  “Yes.”

                  “Her not knowing will make both our lives easier, Fiyero.”

                  “I agree.”

                  “Good,” she answered, a smile playing at her lips. “And tonight, you can have what you want.”

                  “We both want it,” he replied. “Don’t act like you don’t. The way you behaved before made it quite clear that you were thoroughly enjoying what I did to you. I could feel it when you came. Both times.” His eyes gleamed with remembrance.

                  “I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I hadn’t.” But would she? Even at Shiz, she remembered looking at him, thinking about the way his muscles – strong from hunting – rippled beneath his thin ceremonial shirts, the way the diamonds made his features more beautiful. Of course, the moment she’d realized where her train of thought had been going, she’d put a stop to it. It hadn’t stopped her from thinking of him once or twice again, but she’d always prevented her thoughts from going too far. Wasn’t it funny how she was finally able to allow those thoughts back in?

                  He reached across the desk and took her hand for a moment. “I’m glad I was able to please you. That was my goal.”

                  She drew her hand back. “I think perhaps we should get back to the business of war.”

                  That night, she waited for him at the time they’d agreed on – more than an hour after dinner, though the wait had been agonizing. By that time everyone would be in their respective rooms and the chances of him being caught on his way towards their little rendezvous were much lower. He closed the door carefully behind him and looked at her. “I know I should be concerned about the war, but doing this is all I could think about all day.”

                  She lay naked under the covers and moved to make room for him. “It’s been on my mind at times, too.” Only a candle lit the room.

                  His lips crashed against hers the moment his body touched the sheets, his hand behind her ear, pulling her closer as he dipped his tongue into her mouth. She tried to calm her body – she wanted him _now_. “You’re already undressed this time,” he commented against her skin as he kissed her neck.

                  “I figured you’d prefer me that way,” she replied, her hands traveling his torso. He’d come in without a shirt on. She supposed he slept that way. She could barely make out the diamonds in the candlelight, but she slowly kissed each one of them. Elphaba wanted to feel every part of him; his skin was warm to the touch. Quickly, she began to undo his pants and tugged them off of him.

                  “Just like that, then, huh?” A laugh grumbled from the back of his throat. “No preamble, no foreplay?”

                  “I think we had enough of that this morning,” she whispered, pushing him back onto the bed as she tossed the rest of his clothes to the floor. She grinned at the size of him, at how clearly he wanted her. When she touched him, it felt like she was touching a flame. “And you certainly seem ready.”

                  “Oh, I am. I’ve been told I’m too much to handle, sometimes, though, so perhaps you ought to take it a little slow.”

                  “I will take it how I want it.” Looking at him, she understood why he was “too much,” but she was only curious. She placed a knee on either side of his hips and put her hands on his shoulders to brace herself, slowly sliding down onto him, gasping at the feel of penetration. He was filling her and he wasn’t even fully inside her yet.

                  “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He placed his hands on her hips to help guide her body. “You feel incredible,” he groaned softly. “Take me in all the way, sweet Fae. I know you want to.”

                  She sank down further, a twinge of pain mixing with the pleasure she was feeling. Slowly at first, she moved her hips forward, dragging herself along his length though he still wasn’t completely inside of her. As she pulled herself back down, he yanked her hips all the way down and she squealed as her body opened for him, allowing him to push his hips up and into her. “Fiyero!”

                  “Take it, Fae. Take all of it.” His hands were so tight on her hips she knew there’d be imprints there for days. “I want to feel all of you around me, I want to feel your body grasp me as you come. Take what you need.”

                  She rocked back and forth, feeling every inch of him pressing into her, eliciting pleasure from places she’d previously been unaware of. She moaned as her cheeks heated and the sweetness rose within her to the point she felt delirious with bliss. It built into waves, until she was moving so quickly that sweat gleamed on her body and she was panting, wanting desperately to feel the sweet release she knew was coming. “I don’t know if I can…”

                  “You can take it, come on. Make yourself come.”

                  She slammed him into her, crying out with climax as she felt herself clench around him, felt him press up into her more to keep the tide flowing as she shuddered and threw her head back. When the trembling stopped, he rolled over her and kept going, harder. Each thrust tore through her, ecstasy sizzled in her veins and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he moved faster. Her body was completely alert; each movement sent shivers through every cell of her body.

                  He pressed her lips to her ears. “I could fuck you forever,” he murmured.

                  She whimpered as he pushed into her even harder, her lips trembling as she cried out again and again, repeating his name until her noises became unintelligible and he grunted and spilled his seed inside her. “Sweet Oz,” she panted.

                  “That was fantastic,” he told her, slowly pulling out and lying next to her, pulling her body against his in the small bed. “I had to hold back to keep from finishing too early.”

                  “You could’ve finished an hour ago and I would’ve been perfectly satisfied, Yero.”

                  “I’m an overachiever, what can I say?” He nuzzled against her for a moment.

                  She got up and went for her oils. “I should probably clean up.”

                  He stood, as well, and stared at her for a moment. “So that’s how you keep clean. I always wondered. I knew you couldn’t touch water, and I never wanted to ask…”

                  “Well, now you know.” She began pouring oil into her hands, starting with the bottoms of her feet and slowly rubbing herself down.

                  “I should probably go. The longer I’m gone…”

                  “I know.” She didn’t want his excuse. They’d both gotten what they wanted from the other and he had to go back to his room. That was perfectly fine with her. Elphaba needed her privacy. And she needed her sleep. As she skimmed along her body with her hands, she felt how sore she was, felt the way she felt as though he’d torn her open. It hadn’t exactly hurt at the time, but now an ache was present that she knew she’d have to work through the next day. At the moment she was glad she hadn’t promised him every night, because there was no way she could take it without some getting used to. He was… larger than most men, and he knew how to use it. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt later. “Just go.”

                  He kissed her mouth carefully once more and left. “Goodnight, Elphaba.”

                  She waved him away and went back to work examining her body, soothing her aches. By the time she’d finished cleansing herself, exhaustion had set in and she collapsed into her bed.

                  When she didn’t show for breakfast the next morning, one of Sarima’s sisters came to find her, knocking loudly on the door. “Miss Elphaba?”

                  She answered, still in her nightgown. Elphaba hadn’t intended to oversleep, but it appeared that she had. “I’m so sorry. I realize I missed breakfast. I’ll be fine. I didn’t sleep well last night and I needed to sleep in. Would you tell King Fiyero that I’ll stop by his office in about half an hour?”

                  The woman sneered at her. “We made an extra plate. Next time please let someone know ahead of time.” She turned on her heel and walked away.

                  “How am I supposed to know ahead of time that I won’t sleep well?” She muttered, though of course that hadn’t been the case. After her little escapade with Fiyero, she’d slept so deeply and thoroughly that she hadn’t even dreamt. It had been a long time since she’d woken up without a dream to remember.

                  She yanked her dress over her head and found that her body still throbbed with the slight shots of pain from last night and she hugged herself before finally heading back to the office.

                  He smiled when he saw her, and knowing look in his eyes. “A little tired, Fae-Fae?”

                  “And sore.”

                  “So I’m guessing tonight is out of the question?”

                  She bit her lip, thinking about the passion, the intensity. “Maybe…”


	6. Personal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba becomes concerned that her affair with Fiyero has become too intimate.

**Chapter Six: Personal**

 

                  She supposed the stone she was pressed against must be cold, but all she felt was heat. He pumped himself into her over and over again, one of her legs drawn up to his waist and held there by his hand, the other hand between them, teasing her mound as he drove himself into her. Elphaba drew her nails down his chest as she moaned. “Fiyero, please!”

                  “Fuck, you’re amazing,” he mumbled, ramming himself into her roughly. By this point she knew she’d be in pain tomorrow, but somehow when he was inside her she didn’t much care how much hurt she’d be in for later. “Take it like that,” he growled, pressing into her, pushing her leg farther open and going deeper – something she’d thought wasn’t even possible.

                  “I will, I’ll take all of it. Gladly. Just fuck me.” Her mind whirled and all she could focus on was her body, was him pushing her apart, tearing into her and sending pleasure shooting through her body. “Oh, Fiyero, yes!”

                  With a few more thrusts, he emptied himself into her and held her against the wall for a moment as they both regained the ability to breathe normally. He brushed some of her hair from her forehead before dropping her leg. Fiyero walked over and grabbed the oils off the shelf. “I’ll help. I made part of the mess, after all,” he teased.

                  “Fiyero, if you help, you’re going to start one or both of us up again and I’ll be torn in two by the time we’re finished.” She tore the oil from his hands. “Maybe next time. I’m still… adjusting. Which reminds me, tomorrow night this is not happening. I need to heal.”

                  After three weeks, he was starting to learn not to protest when she needed a day of rest after two or three nights of his enthusiastic attentions. The fourth night they’d been together – fourth in a row, for she hadn’t been able to help herself – she’d started to bleed just a little and he’d stayed with her for hours, murmuring that he was sorry though she herself didn’t even feel pain until the next morning. After all, she’d encouraged him to go harder, to be as rough with her as possible. How could he have known? So this time, he kissed her lips, drawing her against him. “Can I stay anyway?”

                  “What?”

                  “Can I just share your bed for a few hours?”

                  She stared at him, uncertain of his intentions. Did he feel guilty again? Was he hoping she’d change her mind? “You can’t stay too long. If they can’t find you in the morning… they’re used to me skipping breakfast, but they’ll come looking for you.”

                  “I know.” He climbed into her bed and watched as she cleansed herself. “Does that hurt?”

                  “Just a little. It stings a bit.”

                  “How often do you do it?”

                  “Every time we’re intimate. You did just admit to making a mess.”

                  “But if it weren’t for that.”

                  “Every other day.” She answered simply. “So yes, that means I do have to do this more now because of you.”

                  “I’m sorry.”

                  “It’s worth it,” she told him. “Don’t apologize. It’s silly. If that was enough of a problem to keep me from being with you, I’d have told you.”

                  “You’re beautiful, you know.”

                  “Don’t say such things,” she replied dismissively.

                  “I mean them.”

                  She finished up, put the bottle down and blew out the candles that lit her room. “You know, between the candles always being lit and the noise, it’s a wonder no one has figured us out.”

                  “I told you, her room is as far away from yours as possible.”

                  “You did that on purpose.”

                  “Maybe.”

                  “You wanted to get me in bed from the day I showed up here.”

                  “Before that,” he laughed. “I thought about bedding you even when we were at Shiz. Why do you think I was so adamant when I tried to get you to join us at the Philosophy Club that night when you ran off? When you showed back up, I was determined to make you mine, to have you.”

                  “I don’t belong to you,” she said sharply.

                  “I didn’t mean it like that,” he sighed. “I meant that I wanted to… to have your body, to watch you tremble beneath me as you reached orgasm. I realize I don’t own you, Fae.”

                  “You never will,” she murmured.

                  “I wasn’t asking to.” He kissed her cheek and pulled her against him so that her head rested on his chest. “I didn’t stay here so we could argue about this.”

                  “I still don’t know why you did stay.”

                  “Because being physical with you doesn’t stop at sex.” He ran a hand over her freshly oiled shoulder. “Sweet Oz, I love the way your skin feels right after you use the oil. You’re so soft. It’s… it’s what you feel like inside, only it’s everywhere with you.”

                  “I warned you I’m not up for that again.”

                  “I _know_.” After a moment he said, “I got a letter from Glinda today.”

                  “Why didn’t you tell me? We spent half the afternoon in your office discussing the political climate. Why are you telling me now?”

                  “Because it wasn’t political. Elphaba, it was about Nessa. Your great-grandfather died last week, Fae. She’s officially Eminent Thropp now.”

                  “That is very political, then,” she snapped.

                  “It’s also very personal.” He remarked. “And I thought maybe…”

                  “What?”

                  “I thought you might get upset. You’ve never spoken of your great-grandfather, but if you were close to him…”

                  “Everyone in Nest Hardings and Clowen Grounds has been dead to me from the day I joined the Resistance, Fiyero. I accepted his death a long time ago. And I didn’t know him well, thank you. I saw him once when I was little and that was it. It’s not your decision not to tell me, nor is it your concern.”

                  “You wouldn’t even know if you weren’t here! It’s not like she wrote _you,_ Elphaba. Even if she wanted to, which I’m sure she does, she wouldn’t know where to _find_ you. And you’ve refused to let me tell anyone where you are, what’s become of you.”

                  “Because it doesn’t concern them. And it doesn’t concern you!”

                  “I’m in your bed. What in Kumbrica’s arse do you mean when you say that? Of course it concerns me.”

                  “All that concerns you is that you get to fuck someone who isn’t your wife, Fiyero. Don’t act like I matter. I don’t. I’m not _real_.”

                  “Not this again,” he groaned.

                  “I’m not! I don’t have a soul. I’m just one part of a larger entity. I’ve told you this.”

                  “And I’ve told _you_ that’s ridiculous.”

                  “I don’t particularly care what you think.”

                  “You have feelings, do you not?”

                  “You know I do,” she said softly. Neither of them had spoken about it, but once, in the heat of the moment, she had whispered that she loved him. The sentiment hadn’t been returned or mentioned since. She didn’t even know if she had truly meant it.

                  “Then what makes you think that you don’t matter? That you have no soul? You have to have a soul in order to feel.”

                  “Really? Where is that written down, Fiyero? Where is there proof of souls at all, anyway? For all I know, none of us do. Maybe I’m not such an aberration.”

                  “I adore the fact that you’re an aberration.”

                  “Because I feel different to you.”

                  “It’s… look, we should rest.”

                  She knew he’d given up. They’d had this discussion once before while they’d been discussing the war, and it was clear he was uncomfortable with the way she felt. Elphaba found that funny, since his people were pagan and more uninvolved with religion than any other people in Oz. Fighting with her over this made him uneasy, and she wasn’t sure if it was because it made it seem like he actually had feelings for her or because the religious aspect was hard for him to understand. Elphaba looked at his sad eyes and smiled at him gently. “Yero my hero, stop trying to save me. There’s nothing to save. But you’re right. We should get to sleep. You promise you’ll be out of here by sunrise?”

                  “Of course.” But she could hear the frustration in his voice.

                  She curled closer to him. “My sweet, you don’t understand.”

                  “I’m trying to.”

                  “Don’t. I’m not made to be understood. You’re confusing what we do for real human connection.”

                  “I happen to think it is.”

                  “Just hush and go to sleep.” She pressed her lips against his lovingly. “Or we’re both going to be in pain in the morning, though mine will be physical and yours will be matrimonial.”

                  “She won’t care much, you know.”

                  “I think she’ll care more than you think she will. Have you been with her at all since…?”

                  “No. It doesn’t feel right.”

                  “Maybe you should, Fiyero. Or at least try. She might refuse you, and that’s fine. Makes it easier on you so you don’t have to pretend, you can just accept it, act a little disappointed and then come in here – unless it’s tomorrow night, because I can’t take it. It might arouse suspicion if you don’t at least try to sleep with your wife once in a while.”

                  “And you won’t care?”

                  Part of her thought she would. She wasn’t fond of thinking about him thrusting into another woman, especially when that woman couldn’t possibly appreciate his body the way she did. But she wouldn’t say that. “Does it matter?”

                  “To me.”

                  “You’ve gotten too sentimental about this,” she warned. Though sometimes she worried that it was she that had gotten too involved. Even the first night, she’d felt a twinge of sadness when he’d left so quickly. She’d never tell him, but him staying with her tonight, if only for a few hours, made her feel calm and relieved, though she didn’t quite understand why.


	7. Under Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba tries to juggle her relationship with Fiyero and her job.

**Chapter Seven: Under Pressure**

 

                  “I’m being pressured to get you to make a decision, Fiyero.”

                  He sat behind his desk, staring out the window. “I know.”

                  “I got the letter yesterday, but I didn’t think it appropriate to bring up…” She didn’t finish. By the time she’d received the demand from her leader, it was just before dinner. After dinner was strictly physical, although they’d begun to talk plenty after the fact. But she wanted badly to keep that part of their relationship away from the thought of the war. It got harder every day to keep those two parts of her life at Kiamo Ko separate, and if she was going to have to force him to choose, it was about to get even more difficult.

                  Fiyero raised his eyebrows at her and she looked away. Sometimes they didn’t need words to figure out what the other was thinking. After a moment, he broke the silence. “Fae…”

                  “I told you only to call me that in bed.” Outside of the day he’d propositioned her, she’d kept their affair strictly in her bedroom. They agreed on when to meet and when not to late at night, not even here in the light of day. She wouldn’t allow it. It made it easier on her to keep things apart. In his office, she was a representative of the Resistance, and only that. At night, she was his mistress, his lover, whatever the proper term was after all this time. But not here. Never here.

                  “I still don’t know what to do,” he said quietly.

                  “I’ve told you what you need to do. You need to stop being afraid.”

                  “Elphaba, that will get my people killed.”

                  “So will sitting back and doing nothing. Wouldn’t you rather go down fighting?” But she didn’t look him in the eyes. She knew well enough that the majority of people would basically be a sacrifice for the greater good. Elphaba hadn’t had a problem with that. But being here, she’d seen these people, people who had done nothing to anger either side. And Fiyero… he’d likely die, too. He’d been her friend once, he still was, so of course she didn’t like the idea of him dying. It had nothing to do with what went on behind closed doors at night between the two of them. That was just a physical release, a way to remind her she was still a person for a few minutes – or hours.

                  “You can’t mean that you don’t care if I lead my people to slaughter, Elphaba.”

                  “I’m not here to care, Fiyero. I’m here to help. I will fight with you.” From a distance. Magic was, after all, mostly a distance game. “We will get you the best weapons and training we can.” No one had exactly promised that, but maybe she’d just tell the leaders that it had been one of his demands. They’d probably give in. They needed him and his people, after all. “What do the other tribal leaders think, Fiyero?”

                  “They see your point.”

                  “Then what else is there?”

                  “You’re eager to get out of here, aren’t you?”

                  “Fiyero, I’m not leaving the moment you agree. I told you, remember? I will be your liaison with the Resistance. I will stand beside you and your people in this fight until it’s over.”

                  “You’re willing to die with us?”

                  “I’ve been willing to die for this for a long time, Fiyero.” And she deserved to. But she didn’t add that. “I wouldn’t have joined the Resistance if I wasn’t willing to give my life.”

                  He reached across the desk and took her hand. “You’re worth more than that.”

                  She drew her hand back and shook her head. “You don’t know that. And that’s not what we’re discussing here, Fiyero.”

                  “I, uh, I slept with Sarima last night.” His cheeks darkened.

                  “That’s nice.” She didn’t know what else to say to that.

                  “You told me to. You’re not mad, are you?”

                  “No, Fiyero. And why are we talking about this now?”

                  He shrugged. “Because we’re getting nowhere in regards to the war at the moment. I went to her, like you suggested. She was very welcoming. But it wasn’t the same. It didn’t feel…”

                  “Fiyero, stop!” She couldn’t take it. Elphaba wasn’t jealous, but she didn’t want to know the details. There were times when remaining blissfully ignorant was a blessing. In fact, at moments, she wished she’d never learned what she’d learned in the City with Glinda. Maybe she could’ve gone on at Shiz, lived the life she’d thought she would. But that… now she was here. And she was definitely not where she was expected.

                  He got up and pulled her into his arms, though she struggled a little. “I hated it, if that helps.”

                  “I don’t want to hear about it. I don’t _care_ , Fiyero.” She pushed his chest away. “But you don’t need to tell me about it. All that you need to say is that you protected our secret, kept suspicion away.”

                  “I didn’t want to.”

                  “I know. I don’t care. How many times do I have to say that, Fiyero? And what have I told you about bringing that talk in here? About touching me?” She went to the window. “Now stop.”

                  He shook his head, but sat back down at his desk. “I’ll never understand you.”

                  “And that’s perfectly fine with me.”

                  “I can’t promise to help the Resistance, not yet.”

                  “Are you at least getting to a decision, Fiyero? I might ease the pressure from them if they at least thought you were considering it.”

                  “I am.”

                  “Good. I’ll write them that.” She left the room without another word.

                  Elphaba began skipping meals. She couldn’t stand the tension between Fiyero and his family, and she couldn’t stand the way she felt when Sarima or her sisters glared at her. In the City, she hadn’t gotten three square meals a day anyway. She could survive on less, much less.

                  “I missed you at dinner tonight. And lunch yesterday,” he told her several nights later.

                  She laughed unkindly, putting down her oils and returning to the bed. “Somehow I doubt that.”

                  “Is something wrong, Fae?”

                  “Absolutely not. I just… Fiyero, in the City, when I wasn’t working, I spent a lot of time alone. Between having you in my bed at night and conferences during the day, I’m not getting the solitary time that I need. That’s all that it is.”

                  “Do you want me to leave afterwards? I can. I just… I like it in here with you.”

                  “You like waking me up in the middle of the night for another go,” she smiled sweetly as she curled up beside him. “And I don’t mind. If I minded, Fiyero, I’d let you know.”

                  “Fae-Fae, you know I stay in here for more than that.”

                  “For a warm body. Don’t.”

                  He sighed and wrapped his arms around her. “Nessa sent people out to the City to find you, according to Glinda. When you first ran away, she wanted to do that, but your father wouldn’t hear of it. And neither of them had the power to do so. But now…”

                  “No one knows I’m here, right, Fiyero?”

                  “I wouldn’t say a word.”

                  “And I appreciate your discretion.”

                  “So you don’t want to tell her, to reach out?”

                  “Why? You said she was angry. Let her be. I don’t need to burden her with what I am now. It would break her heart, anyway.”

                  “How can you stand to be so alone?”

                  “I always have been, even when I was in Munchkinland, even at Shiz, Fiyero.”

                  “You were not! You had your family! You had us!”

                  “But my family always kept me at a distance, and the majority of our little group at Shiz did the same.”

                  “Glinda?”

                  “Glinda was… an exception. But I left her, and the rest of you just as easily.”

                  He kissed her forehead. “And yet you’re here with me.”

                  “Out of pure coincidence. I can disappear again, my sweet, just like I did before.”

                  “Don’t say that.”

                  “Why? Surely you know I will. You didn’t start this affair expecting permanence. You started it expecting sex. That’s what you got.”

                  “And what did you expect?” He asked.

                  “A little pleasure, a distraction.”

                  “Did you get that?”

                  “In spades. Especially the pleasure.” She pulled him towards him and they sank beneath the blankets again.

                  Later, he said, “You can’t distract me that easily.”

                  “I think I just did.” She grinned.

                  “Temporarily.”

                  She reached beneath the blankets, ready to tease him again. “And I can repeat that.”

                  He grabbed her hand. “No.”

                  “What is it, Fiyero? What do you want to talk about so badly?”

                  “You. You’re not leaving. Not soon.”

                  “No, not soon. But I will. I don’t exist at all now, Fiyero. When I go back into hiding, you won’t even notice.”

                  “Oh, I think I will,” he said sourly.

                  “Stop being so dramatic. I’ve let you have me in ways I never imagined. But that’s all this is. And when I’m gone, you’ll be the same as you were.”


	8. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected event causes a change in Elphaba and Fiyero's relationship.

**Chapter Eight: Discovery**

 

                  “Oh, please, Fiyero.” Her hands were tied and she struggled at the bindings. “Just please let me just…” Her body begged to reach that precipice, that delicious release. His tongue teased her folds, his fingers thrust slowly in and out of her.

                  He smiled at her, eyes dark with lust. “Are you almost there?”

                  “Yes, please just let me.”

                  “Good. I told you, I want to feel you come the moment I enter you.” His fingers continued, keeping her right on the edge but refusing to take her over.

                  “Then just do it, Fiyero, please.”

                  And he did. He’d been dragging it out for so long that she was overwhelmed with pleasure and her body went limp, her eyes rolled back, her toes flexed and she cried out as he began to move, prolonging her orgasm. “You like that?” He whispered when she looked up at him again.

                  Feeling drugged with climax, her body tingling with ecstasy and aftershock, she replied, “I love it. Sweet Oz, I love when you fuck me. I love how you feel. Oh, Fiyero, I love you.”

                  “And I lo-”

                  There was a crash from the doorway and Fiyero’s head turned sharply. She moved slightly slower, still coming down. When she did look, she saw Sarima with a plate shattered at her feet, cake smashed on the floor. The other woman stared at them for a moment before recovering herself. “I… it was my sister’s birthday tonight… Miss Elphaba skipped dinner and I thought she might like a piece of cake… I’ll go get the broom.” The woman fled.

                  “Shit,” Fiyero muttered, pulling out of her. “That wasn’t exactly how I wanted her to find out.”

                  “I would’ve preferred she didn’t find out at all.” Elphaba groaned. “You need to deal with her.”

                  He climbed out of the bed and began to dress. “I will.”

                  “Maybe untie me first, though?” She yanked at the scarves that held her arms to the bedposts.

                  He raised his eyebrow. “I could just leave you. I do intend to come back in here once I’ve handled that.”

                  “Then you will find that I’ve found my way out and left the castle if you don’t untie me _now_. I know a spell or two that can teleport me. Not far, but I can at least…”

                  “Then why don’t you just do that?” He challenged.

                  “Because it’s difficult.”

                  He came over and quickly handled the scarves. “I do intend to come back and tie you back up.”

                  “That’s what you think. I don’t think handling Sarima is going to be as easy as you think. Go find her.” She shooed him from the room.

                  But apparently he didn’t find her, because the woman appeared back in her doorway with a broom. Elphaba hadn’t even dressed yet and she pulled the sheets up over her body. A glance passed between the two women, then Sarima bowed her head and began to sweep up.

                  “I…” Elphaba didn’t know what to say, or how.

                  “Don’t.” She shook her head and continued sweeping.

                  But she needed to know. “How long had you been standing there?”

                  “Long enough.”

                  Fiyero came up upon them then. “Sarima, we should talk about this.” He grabbed the dustpan from her hand and placed it on the floor as she swept the remaining pieces of glass and cake inside. Looking at Elphaba, he said, “And not here.”

                  “Oh? You don’t want to share this conversation with her? You seem to be sharing plenty.”

                  Elphaba silently begged them to disappear.

                  He grasped Sarima’s arm and dragged her down the hall. “We will talk about this in your room.” Neither of them said another word that she could hear.

                  She quickly got up and dressed, though she didn’t bother with the oils. He hadn’t finished, and usually that was the majority of what she was trying to clean off of her as it dripped down her legs. She often felt him still moving inside her even hours later. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling to her. It felt slimy and uncomfortable. But like the constant use of the oil and the forfeiture of her privacy, it was worth it. Sometimes, she asked him to finish in her mouth or on her body. It was much easier to clean, and there were times when it was much safer if he didn’t release himself into her. She didn’t want a pregnancy and neither did he. _That_ would not be worth it. No pleasure was worth that.

                  She folded the scarves that had bound her and placed them in a drawer within the small bedside table. Then she climbed into bed, but she couldn’t force herself to sleep. Instead, she began drafting a letter to her leader, trying to find a way to ask out of her assignment.

                  By the time Fiyero came back in, there were dozens of crumbled up papers on the floor beside her desk. “What are you doing?”

                  She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. What happened?”

                  He sat down on her bed. “You were right. She, uh, she wasn’t very pleased.”

                  “I can’t believe I didn’t hear the door open.”

                  “And I didn’t lock it behind me. Besides, you were… otherwise occupied.”

                  He was right. She wouldn’t have heard a thing in the state she’d been in, completely engrossed in the way he moved, riding the tide of her peak. “Why didn’t you lock it?”

                  “I never have, Fae.” He got up and picked up one of the balled-up papers on the floor, unraveled it, scanned it and looked at her. “You want out of here?”

                  “Fiyero, I think we can both agree this has gotten a little more complicated than it should have. Maybe it would be best.”

                  “You could just leave? Like that?”

                  “Yes. I’ve done it before.”

                  “With what we’ve done?”

                  “Fiyero, I told you, it doesn’t mean…”

                  “Stop lying to me. When Sarima walked in, you were saying that you loved me. That’s what upset her the most. So don’t tell me this doesn’t matter.”

                  “It was in the heat of the moment, Fiyero!” She folded her arms across her chest and looked away. “You were about to say…”

                  “You have no idea what I was about to say. And you’re throwing that at me because you’re trying to hide from what you said.” He put his hands on her shoulders. “Don’t leave.”

                  “What do we do now? Now that she knows?”

                  “She’s upset, but the truth is I think she’s more upset that, instead of taking her up on the offer of her sisters, I took you.”

                  “Why did you?”

                  “I told you, Fae. I wanted you, not them, and I still do.”

                  “And what about what I said?”

                  “She… she doesn’t like that. She wants you gone.”

                  “So I should go.”

                  “No! You can’t.” He shook her. “I need you here.”

                  “You don’t!” She wrenched away. “This is insane. I can’t stay here, not after that.”

                  “She’ll get over it.”

                  “Really, Fiyero? Do you have any idea what you’re doing to her?”

                  “She’s acting more upset than she is, I think. Again, it’s a power play with her. She’s going to milk it for all it’s worth.”

                  “And she’s probably telling her sisters right now and I’m going to wind up dead after I eat breakfast.” Elphaba snapped. “You can’t actually want me here. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it’s going to make me? Or you? Or her? Fiyero, I came out here to convince you to join the cause, not to become your mistress. Do you understand that?”

                  “And you think I’m not being persuaded? Elphaba, I need to weigh my options. And I thought we both agreed to drop all talk of the war in this room.”

                  She hugged herself and sat down on the bed. “This is a complete disaster.”

                  “Don’t go,” he begged, sitting beside her. “If they send someone else out, I…”

                  “You are not going to blackmail me into staying, are you?” She demanded.

                  “No, I just meant that it won’t change anything. You or someone else. And starting over won’t help. We’ll talk about it tomorrow and discuss the war. I promise. Now, come here and sleep with me. I can stay in here without worrying now. I don’t have to sneak out at the light of dawn.”

                  He laid back in her bed, pulling her with him and she didn’t fight him. She was too exhausted – both physically and emotionally – to argue. And she could think during breakfast, because she certainly wasn’t going to go downstairs for that.

                  It was the first time that she woke in his arms. Usually when she woke, it was either because he wanted to fuck her again or because he had to slip back into his room. This time she woke on her own, watching the diamonds on his chest rise and fall as he breathed. Sweet Oz, what was she going to do now?


	9. Rash Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected development in the conflict between the Wizard and the Resistance causes Fiyero to develop some crazy ideas.

**Chapter Nine: Rash Decisions**

 

                  “I’ll fight with you.”

                  She stared at him. Somehow those words brought her no joy. Elphaba had skipped breakfast that morning (and intended to skip the majority of meals from then on), and had only just walked into his office when the words came out of his mouth. “You’re only doing that so I’ll stay.”

                  He shrugged.

                  “You are thinking with the wrong body part.”

                  “With my heart instead of my brain?”

                  “I wasn’t going to say your heart, I was thinking more along the lines of your - ”

                  “Elphaba!” He got up and slammed the door that she’d left open. “Does it matter why? I’ll do it. That’s what you wanted.”

                  Then why didn’t she feel relieved? Why did she only feel dread and concern? She shook her head. “You haven’t given it enough thought.”

                  “What is wrong with you? I just gave you exactly what you wanted.”

                  “No! That’s not what I wanted, Fiyero. What I wanted was a well thought-out decision. This is you reacting to what happened last night, to me wanting to leave. I can’t afford to have you agree to this and then back out because you’re not getting what you want from me.”

                  “You think I’d do that?”

                  “I don’t _know_.”

                  “I think you’d know me well enough by now.”

                  “In some ways more than others.”

                  “Stop acting like this is nothing to you!”

                  Before she could respond, there was a knock on the door and Sarima appeared, looking anxious. “There’s a messenger here from the Yunamata. He says it’s urgent.” As she closed the door, she shot Elphaba a piercing glare.

                  “I’d better see what’s going on,” he muttered. “Stay here. We are not done with this conversation.”

                  She sighed heavily and looked out the window, wondering what on earth could be so important. She’d been here for months now, and not once had a tribe sent a messenger like this. Letters were sent, yes, but never like this. Perhaps there was more infighting?

                  He came rushing in, worry all over his face. “We have a problem.”

                  She stood. “What?”

                  “Your people aren’t the only ones who want to convince me to fight beside them, Fae. The Wizard has sent a representative to the tribes, along with a few Gale Force guards. He’s on his way from the Yunamata lands now. That was a warning.”

                  “Shit! I have to get out of here.”

                  “There’s no time.” He grabbed her wrist. “Does anyone know what you are? If we lie and say you’re here for some other reason, would they know?”

                  She didn’t think anyone had ever seen her face when she killed Morrible. There had never been any reports of a green woman with a magic spell. Most likely, she was safe. Of course, she could never know for certain. “I don’t think so…”

                  “Then we’ll think of something to tell them, a reason you’re here.”

                  “Like what?”

                  His face flashed with something she didn’t understand. “You won’t like this.”

                  “What?”

                  “I can have the shaman here immediately; he can handle it in minutes…”

                  “ _What_?”

                  He looked at her with a strange mix of pity and affection. “They wouldn’t even question your presence if you were my wife…”

                  “No! Absolutely not!”

                  “Fae, it’ll save your life.”

                  “I don’t care! I’m not going to be a part of your harem, Fiyero. You don’t get to have one wife to give you children, keep house and cook while you have another for sex and political intrigue. That is not how things work. I know things are different out here, but I will _not_ do that. Ever.”

                  He seemed taken aback, and for a moment she thought maybe there was hurt in his eyes, but he recovered so quickly she wasn’t certain. “It’s the only way.”

                  She slapped him. “You don’t get to tell me how to handle this.”

                  He cupped a hand to his face and stared at her. “Fine. Run, then.” Fiyero turned away, shaking his head.

                  She protested. “You don’t understand!”

                  “Neither do you!”

                  “Fiyero, I can’t. You… it doesn’t matter how I…” She was shaking. She wasn’t sure how long she had been shaking – had she been shaking since he walked in? Suddenly, she couldn’t recall anything. “Oh, sweet Oz.” Her body felt weak and she grabbed onto her chair.

                  “Fae?” He turned back to her, grabbing her as her grip on the chair began to fail. “Elphaba, what’s wrong?”

                  She couldn’t speak, she merely stared ahead blankly.

                  “Fae, come back to me.” He shook her shoulders gently.

                  She blinked, the edges around her world fading. “Yero, you’ll never understand. I can’t.” And everything went black.

                  When she came to, she was lying on the couch in his office. He was standing, staring out the window. As she began to remember, she started to pull herself up. Fiyero heard her and came over, sitting beside her. “You fainted, Elphaba.”

                  “I realize that.”

                  “I asked you to marry me and you fainted.”

                  “You didn’t ask so much as tell.” She replied simply.

                  “You panicked.”

                  “I’m not marrying you,” she repeated.

                  “I think I got that.”

                  “Good.”

                  “May I ask why not?”

                  “Because I don’t want to.”

                  “I deduced that much. But _why_? Don’t tell me it’s about Sarima. If that bothered you, you wouldn’t have ended up in bed with me in the first place. Do you care, Fae?”

                  She didn’t want to discuss this now. “How long was I out?”

                  “Just five minutes.”

                  “We need to come up with a plan.”

                  “I thought I had one.”

                  “A better one.”

                  He cringed.

                  “Don’t get emotional on me right now. We can’t afford that.” She got up.

                  He grabbed her arm. “You’re not well. Don’t do that.”

                  “I’m fine! You just… I…”

                  Fiyero pulled her back down beside him. “Let’s talk this through.”

                  “Right.”

                  “I suppose we could just say you’re my mistress. That’s true enough as it is. It’s not as official, and if that’s examined too closely there could be questions. But it would buy time. Sarima never even knew why you were here – just that you were sent from the City on political business. So she won’t have to lie too much. We’ll say we’re old friends, and that we ran into each other last year when I was in the City on business and started an affair. You came out here to be with me.”

                  She rolled her eyes. “And what could cause people to question that?”

                  “We’d have to formalize the backstory, give details. And if you were here to be with me, there might be questions as to why we aren’t married. Most times out here, if a man wants another woman, he simply marries another one. And we aren’t.”

                  “And we won’t be.”

                  “I get it,” he snapped. “But we need an answer to that question.”

                  “Because I’m just visiting. Maybe I have multiple men that I visit.”

                  He coughed at that. “Really?”

                  “We need a story, don’t we?”

                  “So you’d rather be painted as a whore?”

                  “I’m sleeping with a married man, I’m pretty sure I already qualify.”

                  “Not to me.”

                  “Stop that.” She collected herself for a moment. “Is that all?”

                  “Yes. You realize you can’t be in here anymore. And that you won’t be present at any of the meetings I have with them.”

                  “The only time we’ll really be able to talk…”

                  “Will be in bed,” he finished for her.

                  She wasn’t certain she could accept that.


	10. Something Else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wizard's delegation arrives, causing tension between Fiyero and Elphaba.
> 
> Author's Note: There was some question as to why they couldn't just say she was visiting an old friend. Remember, Glinda and Elphaba always were supposed to have a chaperone/Ama in college? In this society, women don't just go visiting old friends (especially male friends) alone. And if she said she was an old friend from Shiz, then she'd have to give her name, her identity, and she's NOT willing to let anyone know who she is. But people are much less likely to be suspicious of a married woman. A woman her age, unmarried and unsupervised, is suspicious in general at that time and place. And women DEFINITELY don't travel to the Vinkus, where it's dangerous and dirty and "barbaric" as the Wizard would call it.

**Chapter Ten: Something Else**

 

                She holed up in her room for the rest of the day, anxiously listening for the arrival of the delegate from the Wizard’s palace. Fiyero went off to tell Sarima their little story. They’d decided (though she’d been uneasy about it) to tell her that they’d been lying the whole time. He’d insisted on telling her that the fake affair in the City they’d come up with was the truth and that the idea of her being there on government business was a lie they’d used to hide their illicit relationship. And for a brief moment she wondered to herself what might have happened if this affair had started in the City that fall instead of now, if things would’ve been different – if _she_ would’ve been different. But that was a ridiculous and pointless question, and she wasn’t given to considering pointless questions.

                Elphaba burned all the papers she had connecting her to the Resistance. For as long as the delegation from the City was there, she could not take the risk of writing to her leaders. They might write her, but it would be coded and if they received no response they’d know not to try again. This had been something that, at some point, she’d been prepared for.

                But she wasn’t prepared now, not at all. Because she’d been too wrapped up in her little fling to be focused on what might be coming. If she’d been paying attention, this might not have snuck up on them as it had. And in the meantime, she had fallen in love with Fiyero.

                Maybe not love. No, it couldn’t be love. Yes, cared for him more than she meant to. That wasn’t love, exactly. Yet somewhere between the sex and the conversations, she’d begun to feel _something_. At first, she’d told herself it was merely the feeling of release, of being alive and rediscovering her body when they were intimate. But when she’d made up her mind to leave the prior night, something had tugged at her, a sadness had settled into her bones. She hadn’t wanted to leave him, though she’d thought she had to. Knowing she was stranded was almost a relief. It gave her more time with him, and time to figure out just what she thought she was doing here.

                She wouldn’t be his wife. If she did, in fact, love him, she still wouldn’t be his wife. That job was Sarima’s alone and she wouldn’t take that from her. She didn’t want it, and she’d already taken enough from the woman. And she’d stay here. She had to now. But when this was all over, what was to become of her? Or of him? Did it matter? Not in the grand scheme of things, no, but to her it did. Nothing so small and insignificant had mattered to her in a long time.

                 A commotion downstairs indicated that the delegation from the Wizard had arrived. It would be an hour until lunch and Elphaba dreaded going downstairs. But they had agreed that, if she were to play her part, she would need to be present at meals. The thought made what little appetite she had disappear, but she knew what she had to do.

                When she emerged from her room and slid into the dining hall, she felt the glares of Sarima’s sisters and the curious eyes of the Wizard’s delegates. She did not meet any of their eyes. Instead, she sat down and accepted her plate of food graciously. Sarima was muttering to herself and her sisters about the short notice for preparing for more people. The woman barely noticed Elphaba. She was too concerned with her duties as queen to pay any attention to the woman who shared her husband’s bed. And Elphaba was grateful for that.

                Fiyero smiled at her for a moment before chatting politely with the men of the Gale Force about the atmosphere in the City. She did not smile back, staring down at her plate. Perhaps Sarima and her sisters had poisoned her food, displeased that they had competition for the affections of Fiyero. Then again, they probably hadn’t had time, what with the large group they had to serve. She poked quietly at her salad, ate a few bites and excused herself quickly. She did the same at dinner.

                It was late when he came to her that night, but she took him into her bed and her body eagerly. For a time, she forgot the tense circumstances surrounding them, the impossibility of their situation and she focused only on her own pleasure and on his.

                When it was over, he lay in her bed as she oiled herself down, watching her like he had done so many times now. His eyes traveled her body as she cleansed herself. “That was a welcome distraction.”

                She laughed. “You’re telling me.” As she finished, she climbed into her bed beside him. “Are you going to tell me what you discussed with those political bigwigs today or not?”

                “I was wondering how long it would take you to ask. I almost thought you might demand to know before you let me make love to you,” he commented.

                “I think you underestimate how much I needed release, too.” She sighed softly. “What happened? Do they know?”

                “If they knew, Fae, I think we’d all be dead by now.”

                “That’s probably true.”

                “They know war is coming. I couldn’t discern how much they know about your people, but they know. I was told to be careful who I talk to, that I might be tricked into treason.”

                “Or seduced?” She suggested.

                “You didn’t seduce me, Fae.”

                “I didn’t? Then what, exactly, did we just do?”

                “It has nothing to do with my intentions in this war. I’ve told you. I promised you from the beginning and I meant it.”

                “I think we both know that keeping those two things separate has not gone like we originally intended,” she reminded him.

                “Maybe we should talk about what you said the other night, then, when my wife walked in? That little bit about loving me?”

                She turned away. “What else did the Wizard’s people say?”

                “They asked if I’d be willing and prepared to take up arms in defense of the Wizard should a war break out.” He said simply. By now he probably knew not to push her. She’d also noted that he himself had not expressed any actual feelings. So she left hers silent.

                “What did you say?”

                “I said taking up arms was sending a message I wasn’t sure I wanted to send. They want to stay and talk things over with me. Apparently, the other tribes are likely to follow my lead and my decision matters most.”

                “You never told me that.” But she had known. The Resistance had been well aware of the climate out in the Vinkus. She’d never mentioned it, of course. That’s why she hadn’t pushed Fiyero to let her speak to the other tribal leaders. She knew he’d have the final say in the end. He’d brought peace between them, and they looked to him for direction.

                “I figured you knew, your people knew.”

                “They did,” she shrugged. “What are you going to do, Fiyero? They’re going to want an answer from you. And you can’t exactly sleep with them to make them stop nagging you like you did me.”

                “That’s an image I didn’t need in my head. And you know that’s not why I did what I did. I will give them an answer.”

                “Fiyero, if you tell them ‘no,’ the Wizard’s armies will be out here in no time.”

                “I can evade for some time, if I need to.”

                “Great. They’ll be here longer. That’s not what we need. And eventually, you will have to answer.”

                “How much sorcery do you know?” He asked suddenly.

                “A decent amount. Why?”

                “I’m just wondering if there isn’t anything that can help us out of this.”

                “I’m afraid not.”

                “You know, there are some old books in my office, some of them are sorcery books. I don’t understand them. It couldn’t hurt you to look through them.”

                “You forget that I can’t go near your office right now. I’m confined to being your sex toy.”

                “I’ll get them for you in the morning if I can manage to get away.”

                “Only if you’re careful. I will not have you getting yourself killed on the off chance that there might be a spell in one of those books. I couldn’t live with that. I won’t get someone I care about killed. I’ve hurt enough people.”

                “So you admit it? You do care about me?”

                She buried her face in the blankets. “I cared about you before I even came out here. You were my friend once, Fiyero. You still are.”

                “And I always will be, whether this war ends badly or not.”

                “If this war ends badly, we’ll both be dead or in prison, so I don’t see whatever friendship we have enduring that.”

                “And if it’s more than friendship?”

                “What are you trying to say, Fiyero?”

                “You really think that I’m so emotionally cut off? That I sleep with you because I want sex and nothing more?”

                “I recall you saying in the beginning of all of this that, ‘it’s just sex,’” she pointed out.

                “Is that what it was to you?”

                “It was a way of feeling something else.”

                “And what was it? That something else?”

                “Alive.”

                He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. “You’ve been closed off from everyone and everything for so long, Elphaba. You can’t expect to stay that way forever. What happened between us, whatever this is, it was bound to. If I believed in Fate, I’d say…”

                “Oh, please, darling, don’t you get religious on me or I really will teleport myself out of here, danger or no.”

                He chuckled at that and held her close. “You know I adore you, right?”

                She looked up into his eyes and she knew it was true. “I suppose I do.”

 


	11. Long Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba makes an interesting discovery.

**Chapter Eleven: Long Shot**

 

                Being stuck in her room all day grew dull quickly, and it was two days before Fiyero was able to get away and sneak her the books he’d spoken of. Some of the books were in another language. He told her it was the language of his people before they’d finally given into the pressure and assimilated to the common language of Oz. He didn’t know much of it, but it didn’t much matter. She hadn’t had much hope in a set of old books, anyway.

                Still, one afternoon as the hours dragged on, she sat on the floor of her room and sounded out the words, though they felt strange on her tongue. The letters came together beautifully, making an almost musical sound just in speaking. For a moment, she was focused only on the noises coming from her lips and she didn’t notice the broom floating on the other side of the room.

                The broom had been sitting there since the night Sarima had walked in on them. She’d taken the dustpan but had neglected to take the broom and Elphaba wasn’t exactly keen on speaking to her to inform her of such a thing. Now, it drifted in midair. Curiously, Elphaba wound her hands closer to herself and the broom moved towards her. She changed the motion of her hands and it hovered in the other direction. She stared at it, wide-eyed.

                Clearly, the spell she’d chanted was a levitation spell. She’d known one, but it had been incredibly difficult, even for smaller items. This had been two lines of text, and she hadn’t even realized the power was coming from her until she saw the broom. Other times when she had cast spells, she’d felt drained and an intense pressure had crushed her mind. This was freeing.

                She looked towards the time. Dinner was almost upon her. She had to find a way to get Fiyero to her room as soon as they finished eating. He needed to see this. And he needed to be there when she figured out what else this book could do.

                That evening, she approached him immediately after dinner. The representatives and Sarima still sat near her. She placed herself on his lap seductively and drew her lips to his ear. “I need you in my room, my sweet. I don’t think I can wait.” Aware that all eyes were on her, she pressed her mouth against his and kissed him. “I’ll see you soon.” She slunk out of the dining hall and rushed to her room.

                It didn’t take long for him to follow. “What in Oz has gotten into you tonight?”

                She grinned. “You knew right away something was off, didn’t you?”

                “I haven’t spent all that time in your bed for nothing.” Fiyero sat beside her. “Is something wrong? I know you wouldn’t have behaved that way in front of everyone if there wasn’t a reason.”

                “Come here and let me show you.” She pulled the book off the bedside table and chanted the same spell, watching in glee as he stared in amazement at the desk hovering inches of the ground.

                “You did that?” He couldn’t take his eyes off of the desk. “That… wow.”

                “Exactly.” She was practically bouncing with joy. Nothing had ever come so easily to her as this. Carefully, she set the desk down. “I don’t know what else is in here. And I didn’t want to try anything without you here. I don’t exactly know if it’s safe.”

                He grabbed her by the waist and buried his face in her hair. “This is incredible.”

                She couldn’t help but smile. She felt like a giddy teen – something she wasn’t sure she’d even felt when she was a teenager. “When you told me about these books, I thought it was a long shot. But I’m starting to think you might’ve had an idea there.”

                “Try another one.” He said.

                She flipped through the pages until something stuck out to her. As she chanted, she watched the broom in the corner again. This time it burst into flame.

                Fiyero leapt up and stomped it out. “Maybe I need to find a village elder to translate this before you try more. You were right when you said it might not be safe. We can’t have things just lighting themselves on fire.” He took the book from her gently.

                “It has to be someone you trust.”

                “I will find someone.”

                “When? They’re watching you, Yero.”

                “Then maybe the King and his mistress need to go for a romantic walk around the grounds and slip away for a little bit. That is, if you can pull off another scene like you did this evening.” He grinned at her and pressed his lips to her neck.

                She moaned softly. “It was almost fun.”

                “I loved it,” he told her, kissing his way down her shoulder. “You should’ve seen the way some of those guards looked at you.”

                “Well,” she murmured, falling back onto the bed as he nudged her, “it might be advisable to, you know, continue the little charade. They think we’re going at it in here, anyway.”

                He tugged her dress down from her shoulders and it pooled at her waist for a moment. “I was thinking the same thing.” As she yanked his shirt over his head he held his hands up, bringing them right back to her waist when she tossed his shirt to the floor. “Besides, that behavior had me a little excited. I want you to be inside you so badly right now.”

                “I would be happy to accommodate you.” She wrapped her arms around his neck as he kissed her, opening her mouth when he probed with his tongue. Her hips were already pressing against his, pleading for him as he used one hand to finish removing her clothes as they continued kissing.

                “You are beautiful, you know.” He told her as he caressed her breasts, teasing the tips with his thumb.

                “Shut up,” she replied, pulling at the clasp on his pants and tearing them off of him. “I want you. Sweet Oz, Yero, I’m already soaked for you.” She took one of his hands and slipped it between her legs.

                He bit into the tender skin of her shoulder and groaned as he explored her, finding her just as eager as she’d promised. “Gods, you are. And I’m sure you can tell I’m hard for you.”

                “Oh, I can feel it,” she pushed her hips against his again. “Do you want to do something about that? Or are you just going to let your hands do what your cock wants to do?” She spread her legs open eagerly, looking up into his eyes and feeling entranced by the desire she saw there.

                He drove into her smoothly with one swift stroke and she gasped. Fiyero buried his face in her neck for a moment. “I can’t keep away from you. I don’t know what it is, Fae.” Then he began to move slowly, at first.

                She could tell he was teasing, trying to get her to beg him, but she wouldn’t. Not tonight. She opened her legs wider to allow him to go deeper. “You don’t have to keep away. Do what you want with me.”

                He took her invitation and pinned her hands with one of his own. He took one of her legs and placed her knee on his shoulder. “I’m going to make you feel me for days.”

                “I don’t think I care right now.”  She liked the feeling of relinquishing control. It made her feel free, unburdened by the responsibilities of having to make decisions or take action. So little of her life had really been hers to give up control to anymore, and so much of what she’d had to do made her feel like less of a person. But she was willing to give up control of her body, at least to him. Nothing about him, about being with him, made her feel like she was less of a person. This was different than all the other times she gave up control – to the Resistance, to her family, to all of those nameless individuals who had looked at her deformity as something that made her sick or evil. As he pushed further, she hissed at the mixture of pleasure and pain as he pressed against her inner walls, driving into her harder. But the pain was sweet, in its way. And she tossed her head back against the pillows as he moved so fast her body couldn’t possibly keep up. Her body sizzled and exploded over and over as he took her harder and again. “Oh Yero, I do love you.”

                “I know,” he murmured softly, nibbling at her lower lip.

                She scratched down his back as he moved, his body gliding into hers, making her feel pleasure she couldn’t control as he drove into her over and over, making her cry out until there was nothing left, until her body felt like it was dissolving beneath her into a million little pieces and she felt him in her bones.

                When it was over, he collapsed beside her, panting heavily. “Tomorrow, then, we’ll head into the village? Maybe at dinner you could come over and pull me away.”

                “Or you could pull _me_ away. It looks too much like I have control over you if I keep interrupting. You need to look powerful, Yero. And you certainly are.” She laid her head on his chest and rested herself against him. “Tell them you need to relieve a little stress and then come to me. I think they’ll understand. They’ve had you in meetings for days. And they might just think that’s your way. They know nothing of your culture, Fiyero. This could be normal, for all they know.”

                “I wouldn’t mind if it was,” he whispered.

                She ignored that. “Then I’ll just stay in here and wait for you to find me tomorrow? Because if looks could kill, the looks that your sisters-in-law gave me when I practically jumped you at the dinner table would’ve killed me on the spot.”

                He snorted at that. “Let them be jealous. I have no responsibility to them. They’re lucky I let all of them move in. Sarima asked and I obliged. If she hadn’t wanted them here, they’d be moping about in the village. Although maybe they’d have husbands of their own and wouldn’t pester after me so.”

                “Did you realize what she intended when she asked for them to move in?”

                “It was after she got pregnant with our first child. I thought she just wanted help with the pregnancy and then the baby, to be honest. I didn’t understand her games, or exactly what our marriage meant. She got pregnant within a month of us being married. Like I said, she’s very fertile. By the time I figured out there were other reasons she wanted her sisters here, it was too late. The night they moved in and I approached her, she turned me away and tried to send me to one of her sisters’ rooms. Bearing my children was an honor to her, not the sex. So when she was already pregnant, she didn’t care much for it. And she wanted her sisters to share in her honor…”

                Elphaba winced at the thought. “I know that’s how things are done, but that does sound sort of terrible. Not the part about cheating or polygamy, but the fact that those women think that’s all they are good for. That’s almost sad, in a way.”

                “It’s a product of their upbringing. I worry Nor will end up the same. I’m thinking of sending all of them to boarding school when they’re old enough, so they can learn what life is like outside of the Vinkus, so they can become their own people.”

                “That’s a very nice thought,” she told him. “I never see you with them.”

                “That’s because you lock yourself in here whenever we’re not together. Sometimes, for a few minutes in the morning I’ll try to teach Manek and Irji to fight, or get Nor to draw me a picture. They’re pretty resistant to it, though. I think the way their mother and their aunts talk about me, as if I’m some sort of higher being that they must worship, I think that causes them to be afraid of me. I realize that wasn’t Sarima’s intent. She just wanted the children to know how important they are, why they’re special. But instead, she’s gone and scared them away from me. But she doesn’t mind, for she has them all to herself.”

                “Do you wish she hadn’t?”

                “I don’t know. I have enough trouble handling the tribe. I don’t know how good a father I’d be.” He seemed sad at that, and she didn’t know what to say so she only closed her eyes for a moment and listened quietly to his heartbeat as it slowed back into resting rhythm, as hers must be doing as well. As she drifted off, she thought maybe she heard him whisper, “I love you, Fae,” but she couldn’t be sure.

 

 


	12. A Question of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension causes a break in Elphaba's patience, forcing her to admit a few things she wasn't quite ready to talk about.

**Chapter Twelve: A Question of Love**

 

                When she answered the door that evening after dinner knowing he would be there, she greeted him with a deep kiss and he wrapped his arms around her. He whispered in her ear, “Pretend I just suggested something terribly naughty and act like you’re interested.”

                She played her part and giggled sweetly, batting her eyelashes at him and taking his hand when he held it out to her. “Where are we going?” She asked loudly.

                “I thought we could use a change of scenery,” he answered at the same volume. He quickly pulled her out of the palace. She watched as one of the Gale Force guards eyed their departure and rolled his eyes.

                As soon as they were out of earshot and the door was safely closed behind them, she said, “That felt absolutely ridiculous.”

                “Really? You’ve never dreamed of making love outside under the stars where no one can hear your sweet little cries?” He teased, sliding an arm around her waist.

                She tugged away. “Actually, no. I haven’t.”

                “Something wrong, Fae?”

                She wrung her hands. “I don’t like playing coy. I don’t like acting like a sex kitten. Yes, I like being in bed with you, but being trapped in that room and being treated like I’m just a toy…”

                “You know I don’t think of you that way.”

                “Oh? Because all you ever say is that you want to fuck me,” she snapped. “Hell, I’ve said more about my feelings towards you than you have towards me!” They were walking towards the village; she could see the small huts in the distance.

                “I said I adore you, remember?”

                “Once! And I’ve said…” She trailed off, realizing how petty she sounded. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”

                He grabbed her and stopped her. “It does. You want to know if I love you, don’t you?”

                She wouldn’t look up at him.

                “Fae…”

                “Please don’t.”

                “I think I do. I just… out here love doesn’t mean the same thing it does everywhere else. I’m trying to understand exactly what it is that I feel for you and if that’s what the definition of love really is. Because what I feel for you doesn’t fit in the parameters the world has set out for me here. So it’s taking me a bit longer to really understand it.”

                Elphaba nodded. “I suppose that makes sense.”

                “And Fae, the only times you’ve said that you loved me, as you’ve so kindly pointed out, have been in the heat of the moment, in the throes of passion. I worry that if I said something like that any other time, you might get frightened and draw away from me. It’s not like me loving you can change what I am, who I am, my circumstances. It won’t change the fact that we can’t ever be more than what we are. I wish it would. If it would, I’d say it now. But as it is, I wasn’t sure if it should be said at all.”

                “Look, we need to focus on the book.” She’d hidden it along the back of her dress, glad it was thin and flexible. At that point, she pulled it out and ran her hands along the leather cover. She didn’t want to talk to him about what they were, because she wasn’t sure she’d ever want them to be anything more, anyway. She didn’t want to talk about love. The thought had nagged at her, of course it had. But in her anger, it had slipped out when she hadn’t meant for it to. She hadn’t wanted an answer from him. Of course, he hadn’t exactly given her one. “You have someone we can see?”

                He was quiet for a moment, as if he weren’t certain if he wanted to answer her question or go back to what they’d been arguing about. After a time, he gave in. “An old comrade of my father’s.”

                “You trust him?”

                “With my life.”

                “You’d better trust him with all of our lives, Fiyero. If anyone reports to the Wizard what we’re doing or that we have even looked at this book, it’ll be execution or Southstairs.” She hugged the book against her.

                “I get that, Fae. I have a family. I think I’m taking the bigger risk here.”

                He didn’t realize how much that stung, and she wouldn’t tell him. One of the many reasons she’d left her friends and family was to protect them from this, and now here she was dragging him in. But she’d been told to, for the greater good. Love him or not, this had to be done. “Right.”

                He stopped outside a small hut. “May I handle this myself? He’s an older man, and he probably doesn’t think a woman should have any place doing something like this.”

                She sighed. “Go ahead.” She handed him the book and stared up at the sky. It was so much clearer in the Vinkus than the City, and the formations that she could see changed at this time of year. The two moons shone on her skin, making her almost yellow instead of green. Elphaba dragged her fingers through the cold dirt at her feet absentmindedly, trying not to think too hard. Not that she’d ever been good at that.

                What did she want from him? Well, she wanted war. Maybe. But emotionally, physically, what did she want from him in the long run? Was there a long run? Was there a point? Dwelling on this was ridiculous. She’d started sleeping with Fiyero to feel alive again, to be awake and present. Now she was obsessing over the future.

                _Focus on the war_ , she reminded herself. _We need him to win this. What you feel, what he feels, those things don’t matter. YOU don’t matter._ It was a mantra she had repeated hundreds of times, the only way she’d been able to come to terms with the things she’d done, the loved ones she’d left and the people she’d hurt. But it wasn’t enough anymore. Her mind warred within her over her own life and the good of the many. Why couldn’t she have both?

                When he emerged again, he held a paper with numbers and words scrawled on it. “Summaries of each of the spells,” he told her.

                “Good. I’ll look them over.” She took it from him.

                “Can I stay in your room tonight?” He asked quietly.

                “They’ll be expecting you’ve finished with me for the night,” she said. “And I need to look at this. Tomorrow night.”

                He nodded.

                It was late by the time they returned to Kiamo Ko and only one guard hung around the halls, pacing slowly. Elphaba let Fiyero kiss her goodnight and shut the door behind her. She didn’t go through the book right away, though. Instead, she crawled into her bed and fell asleep. It had been a long day, and pretending to be what she wasn’t was much more exhausting than she had considered.

                The next day, she skipped breakfast and went right to work sorting through the spells, trying to see what might be useful. There were teleportation spells, most no stronger than the ones she knew. There was a spell that caused things to burst into flame – the one she’d used the previous night. That could be useful. There was one that froze anything and anyone in its path for a number of minutes. She could see how that one might be important. One created a floating ball of light. There were a lot of them, and she sorted through them, trying all the ones she thought might be safe.

                When he came to her that night (she’d skipped all her meals), he brought her a sandwich on a small plate. “You didn’t come down at all today.”

                She was still sitting on the floor staring down at the book. “I didn’t want to.”

                “Anything useful?” He asked.

                “I made a list.” She handed it to him.

                He looked it over. “We need to send a message to your people, tell them we’re stuck here until we make a decision and that we need help.”

                “I don’t know if we’re ready to jump into action yet.”

                “You’ll have to be, or I’m going to end up on the other side because of the threat to my people.” He sighed. “I don’t want to fight for him, Fae. But I don’t think these guards are going away until I promise to or until they kill us all.”

                She wasn’t sure her people would care enough for Fiyero’s people to come out and fight, but she had to take the chance. “How do you propose we contact them?”

                “Write the letter in here and keep it on you at all times. At some point, you’ll use that spell that paralyzes everyone for a number of minutes that they’ll have no memory of. You’ll send one of the birds to the City with the letter while they’re out.”

                “Not a bad plan.”

                “I’m not king of an entire tribe for nothing, Fae.”

                “Should I at least make sure the spell works?”

                “You’re proposing to try it on me, aren’t you?”

                “Well, who else? Or do you not trust me?”

                “I trust you.” He sat back on her bed. “Go ahead, then.” It was almost like a challenge. “We should figure out exactly how long it lasts, anyway.”

                “I kind of like the idea having you motionless and silent. I can do or say whatever I want and you won’t ever know.”

                He raised his eyebrows at that. “And what, exactly, were you planning on doing to me?”

                “Oh, don’t think like that, my sweet. I can get that from you whenever I want.” She folded her arms across her chest. “I was merely teasing.” And then she opened the book. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

                “Just do it, Fae.”

                So she chanted the spell, her eyes on him as she did. At one point his eyes rolled back and he stopped moving other than to breathe. She reached out and touched him, “Fiyero?”

                He didn’t move or respond.

                Elphaba swallowed hard. The little description she’d been given said it wouldn’t last too long, but now she wasn’t sure what “too long,” really meant. Seconds? Minutes? Hours? She could be sitting beside him like this all night. “You know, Fiyero, you frustrate the hell out of me.”

                Of course, there was no reply.

                “I don’t know what to do with you anymore. I came out here to… to convince you to get into a war that might get you all killed. And then out of nowhere, you wanted to take me to bed. I should’ve refused. I realize that now. But even then, when you told me it wouldn’t make a difference in your decision, I thought maybe it would. And maybe, just maybe, a part of me wanted you.” She got up, shaking her head. “I didn’t want to fall in love with you, Yero. I didn’t think I would. I didn’t know that I _could_. Sweet Oz, this is a mess. You can’t love me, Fiyero. I realize that, but part of me wishes you did. This is ridiculous.”

                For a moment, she studied his unmoving form.

                “You don’t know what I’ve done. You wouldn’t want me if you did. I’m not good. I’m not real. Look at what you’ve done to me! I’ve tried to remain separate from everything. And you, damn you, you dragged me in! I can’t be good for you. I can’t… I’m not supposed to feel, Fiyero. It had to be you, too, the most impossible choice I could ever have made, and it had to be you! Why?” She felt tears well in her eyes and brushed them away.

                She felt it now. Her heart was breaking. Funny, though, she hadn’t thought there was one there to break.


	13. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero comes out of his trance with some surprising information for Elphaba that causes them to have to re-strategize a bit.

**Chapter Thirteen: Truth**

 

                Her eyes had dried and she’d recomposed herself by the time he’d come to. “How long?” He asked before anything else.

                “Eleven minutes.” She replied, looking over at the clock. “That should be more than enough time to do what we need.”

                “Too bad they’ll know,” he replied.

                For a moment, she didn’t understand what he’d just said. Or maybe she didn’t want to. “What do you mean? You remember what happened? Your eyes…”

                “I heard every word you said, Fae.” He came up behind her and slipped his arms about her waist. “I couldn’t see anything, though.”

                “So you heard…?”

                “Yes.” He turned her to face him. “Elphaba, listen to me. I care about you, and I will always want you. What have you done that you think is so terrible?” Fiyero took her hand in his.

                She shook her head and pushed him away. “It doesn’t matter.”

                “Apparently it does.”

                But she wouldn’t look at him. “And what about the other thing? About knowing you and your people might get killed?”

                “I knew and you knew it, Fae, even if we didn’t say that exactly, just talked about it being a risk. I know it’s worse than that. I knew you were aware of that. But you were also right when you said he’ll kill us all either way.” He paused for a moment, then repeated, “What have you done?”

                She hugged herself. “I can’t tell you, Fiyero. Knowing is too dangerous.”

                “Really? I’m about to get into a war we might not live through and you’re afraid of me knowing something bad?” He demanded.

                “You still have time to change your mind, give me up to them.”

                “I wouldn’t. I couldn’t.”

                “You should. Maybe they’d spare you.”

                “I won’t. I love you, Fae. I’m not doing that.”

                At last he’d finally said it, but she no longer wanted to hear it. Loving her would only hurt him. She had to make him understand. “I killed Madame Morrible, Fiyero.”

                “You… Elphaba, that was a massacre. Three little girls died in that fire.”

                “I killed them all.”

                She heard him sit down on the bed. “But why?”

                “She needed to die, Fiyero. We were finally strong enough to come out in the open, but a big statement needed to be made. She was it. I was told to do what I had to, no matter who got in the way. Remember what I told you – I have no self, no soul. At least… I swear I didn’t. When I saw those little girls at the same place, at the place I was told to take action, I thought for just a moment that I should hold back, that I should wait, but I knew there wouldn’t be another time. Lurlinemas Eve, Fiyero, in a public place. That was as big a statement as you could make. I’d been told that time and time again. Besides, I didn’t exactly know what the spell would do. I knew it had something to do with fire, but I thought maybe, if aimed properly…”

                “You really thought you wouldn’t hurt anyone else?”

                “No. But I wanted to think that. Besides, it didn’t matter what got in the way. The greater good was what mattered. Don’t you understand, Fiyero? If you don’t give me up, I could just as easily put you in harm’s way as I did those little girls.”

                “Maybe a year ago, you would’ve. But I don’t think you really would. Not anymore.”

                “You don’t know!” She cried.

                “I do know, Fae. I know you. When you walked in here months ago, I knew things had changed. I knew you were different. But I also understood that part of you was still in there, begging to be set free. I loved that part of you, and I wanted to set you free. You’re not the woman you were when you did that, Elphaba.”

                “What is wrong with you? I killed three innocent children! Do you not understand that?”

                “I understand that more than six years ago, you decided to walk away into the arms of an organization that didn’t care about you at all.”

                “They’re not supposed to care about me. They’re supposed to fix Oz. They can’t do that by worrying about individual people. I can’t… I’m not supposed to worry about myself, either. Or to consider myself at all. I was doing so well at that until…”

                “Until me,” he finished for her. “Until you fell in love with me.”

                She laughed, surprising herself. “Not exactly. I’d been in love with you since Shiz. I’d just blocked it out for so many reasons. I could put it away, in the back of my mind, lock it up and pretend it didn’t matter, but you came crashing through and tore the lock off the door.”

                He held her against him then, and she breathed him in. “We were both alone, in our way. And we found each other.”

                “And we’ll have to lose each other. Because this won’t work. It can’t. You understand that. You said so yourself, Fiyero.”

                “It can’t work in a conventional sense…”

                “Fiyero, with the war coming, it can’t work at all. There is no place for us.”

                “I refuse to believe that.”

                “You are so naïve.” She smiled a little, though. “You always were.”

                He kissed her mouth softly, his lips brushing hers tenderly. “I love you. Please, Fae, we can do this. We will find a way.”

                “There isn’t one.” She sighed. “But now is not the time to discuss it, anyway. If they can remember that a spell was put on them, we need a new strategy. You’re right. Contacting my people is the only thing to do in this case.”

                “At least we agree on something,” he said. “Give me that list again?”

                She took the paper from the nightstand and handed it to him. “It was a good idea.”

                “And you trying it out was a good idea. Think of what would have happened if we’d just assumed it worked!” He surveyed the paper again. “We could use that spell later, though, on the lot of them. An ambush. It would give us the upper hand when we have to fight them.”

                “Yes, of course.”

                He put a hand on her shoulder. “We work well together, you know. You and me. I had the strategy and you had the logic.”

                “Stop.” She couldn’t have him doing this. They needed to focus on the task at hand.

                “What about the spell where you can communicate with regular animals? Can you, maybe, on your own, go for a walk, get a bird to take this to the City?”

                “It’s a thought.” There were no Animals out here. There were none anywhere anymore. They were all in hiding – most of them had left Oz or gone underground. “Will they let me out alone?”

                “They let us out alone earlier. I don’t think they see you as a threat.”

                “Right. They just see me as a whore.”

                “That’s what you wanted, remember?”

                But she didn’t like it. Elphaba had thought she didn’t care how people looked at her, and maybe it was just about being trapped in her room. Still, she hated being thought of as only Fiyero’s mistress. No wonder his wife had simply accepted her fate. Her only job was to give him children. That must be maddening. She didn’t feel badly for what she’d done with Fiyero, but she did feel badly for Sarima, for what life had thrust upon her. “Fine. Tomorrow I’ll go take a walk.”

                “And you’ll let me know how it goes.”

                “Not right away. We’ve already crossed enough lines. When you come here tomorrow night, I’ll tell you.”

                “And we’ll figure out the next steps after that, then.” He brushed her hair from her face. “Come to bed?”

                She nodded blankly and let him guide her into bed, allowing him access to her body once again, moaning and whimpering at his touch and crying out in pleasure. But she wouldn’t focus on him.

                Of course, he knew. “What’s wrong?” He asked her when they’d finished.

                Turning over and facing away from him, she said, “What are you talking about?”

                “You didn’t say a word when we made love, not even my name. You refused to look in my eyes. You made some very, uh, pleasing sounds, but…”

                “Please, let me do this. I need to. It needs to be just sex.”

                “Why do you have to push me away?”

                “Because I need to do my job, Fiyero! And loving you makes that difficult. I don’t mind going to bed with you, talking to you about the war, but I can’t deal with whatever this is right now.” She felt sad just saying so, but she knew it had to be.

                “And after? When this is over?”

                “We’ll probably be dead.”

                “And if we aren’t? Can we figure this out?”

                She cackled. “You’re insane.”

                “Promise me, Fae. Promise me we’ll try.”

                “If we live and don’t end up in Southstairs, fine.” But she’d be long gone by war’s end. For his sake, she’d need to be.


	14. For This Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba finds a way to get a message to the City. Fiyero withholds affection when Elphaba becomes distant.

**Chapter Fourteen: For This Moment**

 

                  Alone and out of that dreaded room. Elphaba closed her eyes as she stepped outside the next day, breathing in the dry Vinkun air, smelling the faint smells of spices and incense coming from the village. Fiyero was right, they hadn’t even given her a second glance when she’d announced she wanted to take a walk and get some fresh air. Freedom felt so good.

                  For a moment, she considered running there and then. She hadn’t brought much with her, and she’d never been attached to material possessions. It would be a long trek back to the City, but she could probably make it. But if she ran, the Gale Force would know something had been amiss. They’d surely send Fiyero and his family straight to Southstairs, at best. At worst, they’d slaughter them immediately. She cringed at the thought. Elphaba did not want more death on her hands, especially if it hurt the cause rather than helped it.

                  So, book tucked safely in the back of her dress, she wandered the arid land until she was out of view of the palace. At least, she drew the book out, watching the sky and the ground before her. There was a lot of wildlife in the Vinkus, but the animals had learned to stray away from the strongholds of each tribe or they’d get hunted.

                  She felt like it was miles until she got close enough to a bird. Before it could get started, she chanted the spell under her breath. Elphaba wasn’t exactly sure how this was supposed to work. Would she just speak normally and it would understand her? “Excuse me?”

                  The bird’s head shot up and looked at her in what she assumed was shock. A series of chirps emitted from its beak, but she somehow understood them to be _What do you want?_

                  Elphaba held some breadcrumbs in her hand. “I need a favor. I need something taken to the City, to a specific person.”

                  The bird hopped over and nibbled at her hand. _And this is all I get?_

                  “When you come back with the response, I will feed you well for weeks,” she promised.

                  _Tell me what you need, then_.

                  That had been much easier than she had thought. Quickly, she told the bird where to take the encoded letter and sent him or her on their way, directing it to fly back to the Palace when a return letter was written.

                  “I trust you found what you needed?” Fiyero asked from the doorway that night.

                  “I did.”

                  “Good.” He started to walk away.

                  “What are you doing?”

                  “Going back to my room. Elphaba, you made it clear last night that this is only supposed to be sex, and I’m not accepting that. So I’m not staying here tonight.”

                  “Fiyero…” She felt her whole body ache for him. “Please, don’t do this.”

                  “You’re the one pushing me away, Elphaba.”

                  “You have to understand, it’s for your own good.”

                  He shook his head sadly. “I don’t care. Elphaba, my own good is my own decision, not yours. If I want to do this, if I want to risk everything, I will. It’s not your decision to make for me. Your decision is whether you want to, which I thought you did.”

                  “I do,” she insisted.

                  “Then stop trying to protect me! I get that this is dangerous. I’m a King. Death is probably in the cards for my people and I anyway. I deserve to at least have a little happiness in the process. You make me happy, Fae. When I’m with you, it’s like there’s nothing else that matters.”

                  She felt the same. When she was in his arms, she could forget herself and the rest of the world. Lying beside him at night, the world felt safe and quiet. But it wasn’t that easy. Every morning, she had to wake up and face the same threats, worry about the same problems as she had the day before. They couldn’t lock themselves away forever. And even if they could, that’d be selfish. But just a few hours couldn’t be wrong. “Stay with me tonight,” she pleaded. “Make love to me. Hold me. Yero, please.”

                  He pulled her into his arms and put his hands on her waist, looking into her eyes. “I can’t say ‘no,’ to that. I love you, Fae.”

                  “I love you, too,” she murmured, kissing him. Elphaba knew she shouldn’t, but she wanted so badly to feel alive, to remind herself what it was like to be a person again just for a while. And he was the only thing she knew that could do that. His mouth seized hers, their tongues dancing the familiar dance she loved so much as he lifted her in his arms and placed her on the bed.

                  She was only wearing her wisp of a nightdress and he pulled it quickly over her head. As their mouths returned to each other, she began unbuttoning his shirt, reaching her hands in and caressing the muscles of his chest. He caressed down her collar to her breasts, molding them with his large hands, warming her flesh with his as he took her nipples between his fingers and teased them to little peaks so that she moaned into his mouth. Her hands slid downwards and she tugged the rest of his clothes off and took him into her hands. At that point his mouth dislodged from hers and he groaned. “Fae.”

                  “Yero my hero,” she murmured, running her hands up the shaft, circling her fingers around him and listening to his breath quicken as he trailed hot kisses down her neck, nibbling at her skin as he reached her throat. She arched her back when he took the peaks into his mouth, her hand still closed on him. “Sweet Oz.” His fingers trailed up her thighs, opening them eagerly and entering her without pretense.

                  Two fingers pressed into her, exploring her, feeling her become liquid beneath him. “I want you, Fae. I love you.”

                  “Then have me,” she opened her legs wider and dropped her hands. “Take all of me. I’m yours.”

                  He entered her, taking his time and slowly sinking each hard inch into her body. She shuddered with pleasure beneath him as he did. He began to draw himself out, then thrust roughly back in again and she watched his eyes darken, his lips twist into an eager smile. “I love you.”

                  “I love you, too,” she whispered, wrapping her legs around his waist as he began to plunder her depths, going faster with each long, delicious movement. The pressure began to build and she could feel her release coming. “I’m going to…”

                  “Good. Just for me, Fae. Come for me.”

                  As the tide took over her body and she trembled, her skin clenching around him, her nails digging into her back, she cried out his name. “Fiyero!”

                  He kept moving, eyes locked on hers. “That’s it. Oh, sweet Fae, you feel so good.”

                  “You feel even better,” she replied, allowing him deeper access as he pumped into her, each part of him bringing her ecstasy so exquisite she couldn’t stop shaking. “Just like that, Yero, please.” Another orgasm began somewhere within her and she tightened her legs as he moved, her cries growing higher and more breathless. At once passion exploded within her and she was lost with him, only able to see and feel him. There was nothing else.

                  He held her close that night, their legs still tangled together as the sweat dried and she closed her eyes. She tried to tell herself that it would just be this night, that tomorrow she’d let him go, but each moment she lay with him it got harder and harder to think about and so she hid herself in his chest, pressed her lips against the diamonds and concentrated on him, on the taste of his flesh, salty with sweat. He smiled at her. “You’re beautiful. I wish we could stay this way.”

                  “So do I,” she admitted. “We were born into the wrong world at the wrong time. Oz won’t let us. Your life won’t let us. Neither will mine.”

                  “But at least we’re together now.”

                  “Yes,” she said softly.

                  “And maybe one day, when we’ve beaten them and the fight has ended, we can find a way.”

                  She was so tired, so drugged with the feel of his strong arms around her that she agreed. “Maybe we could, Yero. Maybe somehow, someday.”


	15. Promises, Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarima and Elphaba have a conversation.

**Chapter Fifteen: Promises, Promises**

                 

                  He kissed her awake the next morning. “It’s almost time to eat. I’m going to go get dressed. I’ll see you at the table.” He gave her hip a quick squeeze and left.

                  Elphaba clothed herself and looked in the mirror. What had she been thinking? Why did she let him in like that? It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t safe… but it was real. It was the only real thing she knew. But still, was being with him, opening up like that was against everything she’d ever been taught. It had felt so good, though.

                  She sighed and headed downstairs, running straight into Sarima. The woman had apparently just been waking the children. “Good morning, Miss Elphaba,” she said, eyes trained on the ground.

                  “Good morning, Queen Sarima.” Elphaba curtseyed at the woman. She deserved some respect, didn’t she? “I’m sorry…”

                  That seemed to surprise Sarima and a smile played at the woman’s lips, though she bit it back. “You don’t have to be. In the end, I think it’s a relief. He pesters me too much, anyway.”

                  “I meant that I was sorry for bumping into you, but… that, too.” Elphaba faltered. “Is there anything I can do? I just… I want you to know I’m not out to take your place or something like that. I just… well, I...”

                  “Miss Elphaba, really, don’t. I’m not concerned at this point. I’ve figured that out. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m a bit busy. Caring for the children and making meals for all of these people is a bit overwhelming, even with my sisters.”

                  “I could watch the children for a bit, maybe read to them.” She hadn’t even realized she was saying that until the words came out. Elphaba didn’t _do_ children. That wasn’t something she was good at, but looking at the poor woman’s frazzled eyes made her want to help. She’d pretty much stolen Fiyero, helping her with her chores seemed like a small penance.

                  The woman bit her lip, but appeared to realize she had no other choice. “Just for a few minutes. We’re almost done with breakfast, anyway. I’ll come get everyone in a bit.”

                  Elphaba nodded and grabbed the most child-like book she could find from the small library and dragged herself to the nursery where the children were running about. As soon as they saw her, they all calmed and stared at her. She forced a smile and said, “I thought I could read to you for a bit before breakfast.”

                  Sarima couldn’t read, and the children were still too young for tutors, so they were excited at the prospect of something new and gathered around her eagerly. Nor clutched at the bottom of Elphaba’s dress, smiling widely. Elphaba didn’t know how to react to the young woman, or how to handle the strange feeling that washed over her. So she simply began to read.

                  Less than half an hour later, she looked up to see Sarima smiling in the doorway as the children continued to stare at Elphaba, entranced. Nodding at the other woman, Elphaba said, “I suppose it’s time for breakfast.”

                  Manek whined, “No! I want to listen to you read more, Auntie Witch.”

                  One of Sarima’s sisters came in and ushered them out of the room as Elphaba put the book away. Elphaba looked at Sarima and asked, “Auntie Witch?”

                  Sarima winced. “It’s what my sisters have been calling you since they found out about…”

                  “Oh.” Elphaba flushed.

                  “They assumed you used some sort of sorcery to seduce him.”

                  “You know I didn’t, right?”

                  “I do. Knowing Fiyero, he probably started it. Not you.”

                  “Let’s not talk about this.” Elphaba started to leave the room.

                  “Wait.” Sarima grabbed Elphaba’s arm. “One more thing, Miss Elphaba.”

                  She gulped. “What?”

                  “I’m not stupid.”

                  “I never said you were.”

                  “I realize something is happening here, more than just an affair with my husband. I know it’s dangerous. I want you to promise me something.”

                  “I don’t know if I can…”

                  The woman tightened her grip on Elphaba’s arm. “I don’t care what happens to me. I don’t care what happens to Fiyero. But my children, promise me that my children will be taken care of and safe.”

                  “I…”

                  “Promise me, Miss Elphaba.”

                  “I promise.” Elphaba pulled her arm away. “I will do my best.”

                  “And if the worst happens, you will take care of them.”

                  “Sarima, you don’t know what you’re asking. I wouldn’t be good at that.”

“And don’t you tell me you couldn’t. I just saw you with them.”

                  Elphaba sighed. “Whatever you want.” She’d be fighting beside Fiyero. If something happened to any of the family, it would happen to her, too. This would never come to fruition. If it made the woman feel better about the whole thing, though, she’d agree. “I promise.”

                  “Good.” The woman finally released her arm, turned and headed to breakfast.

                  Elphaba stood gaping after her for a moment before collecting herself and heading to breakfast as well.

                  That night, Fiyero kissed her forehead and commented, “I heard the children talking about how you read to them this morning.”

                  Elphaba felt her cheeks get hot. “I bumped into Sarima in the hall and she was flustered and I felt bad, after everything. I just wanted to help. I won’t do it again.”

                  “I think they’ll want you to. They sounded so excited about it.”

                  “I’m not good with children, Yero. And it feels incredibly wrong.” Those were his children with his wife, not with her. And she’d already basically taken control of Fiyero. She didn’t want Sarima to feel like she was in competition for her children’s affections, as well.

                  “Maybe just once in a while, then.”

                  “Fiyero, I couldn’t.”

                  “They need it, Elphaba. It’ll help get them interested in their education. They’re going to have a tutor in a few years, but this will prepare them.”

                  “That’s Sarima’s job.”

                  “I don’t think she minds. And you know she can’t read.”

                  “I’ve already taken her place in your bed. I won’t take that from her, too.”

                  “I don’t think she sees it that way. She sees it as a reprieve. She almost… it’s almost like she’s started to like you.”

                  Elphaba laughed. “I doubt that.”

                  “I told you that she’d get past what she saw. I think she has.”

                  “And when did she tell you this? In bed? Because you’ve spent every damned night in my room, so I don’t know how you possibly had time to…”

                  “I can tell. Elphaba, I’d been married to her for years before you came out here. I’d think I know her pretty well. And was that a complaint about how much time I’ve spent with you? Do you want me to go to her for a night instead?”

                  She shook her head and wouldn’t look at him. When it had been to keep their secret hidden, that had been one thing and it had been hard enough. But now, she didn’t think she could even handle the idea of him sleeping with his wife. Of course, she wouldn’t tell him that. “You’re welcome to spend as much time as you want in here. You need to so that we can continue to discuss what’s going on in those meetings.”

                  “Oh, and that’s the only reason?” She heard the teasing tone in his voice.

                  She wiggled her body against him playfully. “And I certainly don’t mind the things you do to me all night long.”

                  But that didn’t distract him from his goal. “And?”

                  “And I love you. Now stop.” She pressed her lips against his. “But you haven’t told me much of what happened today.”

                  “They’re not leaving, Fae, not until I tell them I’ll fight. Onois has gotten a little pushy and I worry that’s going to turn into threatening any day now.” He sighed. “We need help, and soon.”

                  “I know. I should be hearing back from my people any day now. How much power does Onois have, exactly? Does he have to wait for the Wizard’s command before he does anything or…?”

                  “I think he has to wait unless we were to just attack. The Wizard doesn’t like giving anyone the power to make decisions for him.”

                  “At least there’s that. Nothing can move too fast if they have to keep communicating back and forth before he takes any action. Keep stalling, Yero. You’re good at this.” She ran her hands along his chest playfully. “Now are you going to do what I’ve been begging for or not?”


	16. A Plea for Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba doesn't like the response she gets for her people when she asks for assistance.

**Chapter Sixteen: A Plea For Help**

 

                The response came from the Resistance the next night. As she drifted off in Fiyero’s arms, there was a tapping at the window. She shot up, grabbed the spellbook from her bedside table and went to the window, knowing exactly what it was.

                Fiyero stirred and said sleepily, “What are you doing?”

                “It’s the letter from my leader,” she said shortly, opening the window. Elphaba pulled out a small bowl of crumbs that she’d been keeping for the little bird. The bird dropped the letter into her hand and eagerly began gobbling up the food.

                He got up and came up behind her as she read. “What in Oz is that supposed to say?”

                “It’s coded, Yero.” She waved him away. “Let me read.”

                He grumbled and sat down on the bed. “I’ll just sit here, then.”

                After a moment, she put the letter down and sighed. “I’m going to have to write them again.”

                “Why?”

                “They don’t think it’s necessary to come out here. I don’t think they realize the gravity of the situation. That or they just don’t care.”

                “Did you tell them about the book?”

                She shook her head.

                “Maybe you should. It’s clearly powerful magic, Fae. If they thought there was something to be gained by coming out here, maybe they’d be more willing.”

                She turned to him. “You really are smart, Yero my hero.”

                “I have to be.”

                “I need to write a letter back to them. Could you go? I need to do this in peace.”

                He looked disappointed, but nodded. He grabbed his clothes off the floor and dressed. “Make sure you emphasize the spellbook.”

                “I’ve got it.” She sat down at her desk with a pen.

                Fiyero came over and kissed her. “Goodnight, my love.”

                She smiled a little. “Goodnight.”              

                She must’ve spent hours on the letter, an impassioned plea to help the Arjikis and a detailed description of the book she’d found and the spells she’d already used. It was almost morning by the time the letter was through, and the little bird had been resting in her windowsill for hours. When she cast the spell and held out the letter to the bird, it looked at her. _Again?_

                “Hopefully this will be the last time.” She nudged the letter towards the bird.

                _You’ll be feeding me forever._ The bird took the letter in its mouth and flew off.

                She collapsed in a heap in her bed, falling quickly into sleep.

                “Fae, are you hungry?” Fiyero knocked, a plate with a small sandwich in his hands. “You usually at least sneak downstairs and get something at some point and I haven’t seen you all day.”

                She sat up a little. “Sorry. I’ve been asleep. You shouldn’t be in here right now. Don’t you have a meeting?”

                “They’ve kind of given up on meetings and are now just making veiled threats for a few hours and leaving me to consider.” He sighed and put the plate down on her desk. “You’ve been sleeping all this time?”

                “The letter took me awhile.” Climbing out of bed, she stretched. “Thank you for bringing me food. What time is it, anyway?”

                “Lunch was three hours ago.”

                Elphaba laughed. “Oops.”

                He wrapped his arms around her waist. “Some days I just want to bury myself in you and not come back.”

                His words sent shivers down her spine at just the thought, but she wrenched away gently. “Yero, you really shouldn’t be in here during the day.”

                “I don’t care.”

                “You should.” She shook her head and went to the window for a moment. “Fiyero, I love you. But you’re letting that distract you. Right now, we have to focus on what’s coming.”

                “I’m tired of it, Fae! This is ridiculous.”

                “It’s not, Fiyero. It has to happen. The world needs to change. You know this.”

                “But does it have to be now?”

                “Yes! You are being so selfish. War doesn’t happen when it’s convenient for all the parties involved, Fiyero. And now is the time. Now is the _only_ time.”

                He groaned. “But the waiting game…”

                “I get that. It’s frustrating. We’ve been waiting for years and years, Fiyero. I understand. But you need to go back and act like you’re ‘considering’ their arguments. What do they even say to you, anyway? They don’t actually promise to protect you, do they? Because they won’t.”

                “Your people aren’t exactly following through, either.” He pointed out.

                “You had not officially made a commitment so far as they knew. And they weren’t exactly thinking they’d have to start this so soon.” She snapped. After a moment, she took a deep breath. “Fiyero, it’s frustrating. I want to them to help you. I’m fighting for you. You know that, right?”

                “Of course.” He squeezed her hand.

                Waiting for a response from her people was agonizing. She sat up at nights, watching the window, hoping for the little bird to appear.

                “Do you sleep at all anymore?” Fiyero muttered, turning over in her bed. “You can’t possibly spend the next few days like this.”

                “I don’t know how you can sleep at all,” she replied.

                “Because a body needs sleep.” He tugged the blankets around him. “Aren’t you cold? You’re just sitting there…”

                “I’m fine.”

                “Fae, you’re naked and it’s been so cold lately.”

                “I’m fine.”

                He sighed. “Why do I bother?”

                “I have no idea.”

                “Please, Elphaba, stop this. You need to rest. I’ll watch the damned window if you want. But please sleep.”

                “You can’t stay up. You need your rest more than I need mine. You get to sit with Onois all day and pretend you haven’t already made up your mind. I just have to sit around in my bedroom and wait for you to come fuck me every night.”

                “Fae…”

                “Oh, don’t!” She got up. “I’m losing my mind here. You know it. It’s not like you’ve been perfectly patient.”

                “You can’t do this for the next several days, though.”

                “I can and I will.”

                But of course, her body won over and she fell asleep the second night, and again the third night, though it was a fitful sleep. The slightest noise woke her. She knew Fiyero wasn’t sleeping well beside her when she was constantly leaping out of bed like a startled cat. At one point she even told him to go back to his room, but he refused, stubborn as he was.

                When the tapping finally came again at the window, they were both relieved. “Thank Oz.” She barely felt her feet touch the floor when she rushed to the window, practically yanking the letter out of the bird’s beak, thrusting another bowl of breadcrumbs at the bird as she tore the letter open, hands almost shaking.

                Fiyero put a hand on her shoulder gently. “Relax, Fae.”

                She scanned the letter quickly, mouthing the coded words. “Shush.”

                He rolled his eyes and paced the room. Her anxiety was catching, apparently.

                Finally, she put the letter down. “My leader is traveling out here – disguised, of course. He wants to meet with us. He’ll be near the Yunamata stronghold in their village. We’ll need to sneak out of here again.”

                “It was easy enough last time.”

                “Don’t let your guard down. Nothing is ever easy, Yero.”


	17. Fight or Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are tense as Elphaba and Fiyero sneak away to meet with a Resistance leader.

**Chapter Seventeen: Fight or Flight**

 

                This was a bigger ruse than before. They had further to travel and would be out longer. They agreed to have Fiyero tell Onois that he needed a break to relieve the tension and that he’d be taking his mistress on a camping trip (which was laughable – Elphaba had never been camping in her life given the risk of rain). He also promised them a definitive answer when he returned. Elphaba hadn’t liked that idea, but he’d insisted that was the only way they might continue to turn a blind eye to his constant indiscretions.  Still, she worried they might figure out what was going on. The two days before they left were filled with tension and anxiety.

                “Take it all, Fae.”

                He had her bent over the bed, pounding her. With every thrust, she feared she might actually tear. She was bordering on the threshold between pleasure and pain, her hands clutching desperately at the sheets in front of her. He’d never been this rough before, though she certainly wasn’t complaining. Every sensation was heightened, even the most miniscule movement she felt as though it was quaking through her. “Please, Yero, I don’t think I can…”

                “Oh, I know you can,” he growled into her ear. His hand snaked around her waist and between her legs and he began to tease her.

                “Yes, oh, Fiyero… please.” She closed her eyes for a moment, taking it all in. He knew just want to do to push her over the edge, and within moments she was crying out and pleading for him to keep going.

                “Sweet Oz, you feel good.”

                “Please, don’t stop.”

                “I had no intention of stopping.” He continued to drive himself into her, his other hand on her shoulder, pulling her towards him. Fiyero bent over her and kissed her neck, nibbled at her earlobe and bit into the skin behind her ear causing her to yelp. “Do you like that?”

                “Yes,” she gasped. “Oh, gods, Fiyero, you’re… oh, yes, oh…” She couldn’t concentrate anymore, and let the tides of ecstasy overwhelm her. Elphaba liked when he handled everything, when she didn’t have to worry about what was coming next or how to move or what he liked. She only had to concern herself with what was going on within her, and she could focus on her pleasure, which she had plenty of that night.

                He crawled into bed beside her later. “I’m sorry if I got a little hard on you.”

                “If you needed to apologize for that, you’d know.” She shifted her legs a little and groaned. “Can I ask why you got so… demanding?”

                “I have a feeling that while we’re out there, you’re not going to let me touch you. And this could last days. It takes more than half a day to get out there.”

                “You’re right. So you were trying to make up for that?”

                He grinned sheepishly. “Maybe a little. And… honestly, things have been so stressful that I just needed to find a little release.”

                “So you took it out on me?”

                “Like you weren’t doing the same thing, Fae.”

                “Fiyero, you almost tore me apart.”

                “I thought you said you didn’t mind.”

                “I don’t, but… just let me know when you’re in the mood to be rough next time?” She sighed. “I’m exhausted. Let’s just rest. We have a long journey tomorrow.”

                He pulled her body against his and held her in his arms. “I know.” His breathing eased into sleep easily, and she followed soon after.

                They took a horse the following morning. The couple shared a horse and he kept his hands on her waist the whole time.

                “You understand you can’t even act like we’ve been doing what we’ve been doing around my leader, right?” She lectured.

                “If I have to.”

                “You do.”

                By the time they arrived, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to walk after she climbed off the horse. They were ushered (too quickly, as far as she was concerned, for moving too quickly hurt) into a small hut where a man she’d only spoken with in person twice before sat on the floor. “Fae,” he said as she entered. “It’s good to see you again.” Then Elwood turned to Fiyero and bowed slightly. “Your highness.”

                Fiyero frowned and she knew why – it was the use of her codename. He’d gotten so used to it being an affectionate term between the two of them. But he quickly cleared his expression into a sterner one, affecting an almost kingly demeanor. For the first time, she saw the king in him, not just the man she went to bed with or the boy she’d gone to school with. He stuck his hand out. “Good to meet you.”

                “This is Elwood.” Elphaba said blankly. “Elwood, this is Fiyero.”

                “I’m sorry we couldn’t meet under more formal circumstances.” Elwood said.

                “As am I.”

                Elphaba took the book out of her bag. She’d spent the last two days in her room copying it, though she hadn’t even told Fiyero that much. If they took the book and still refused to help, at least there’d be a copy of it at Kiamo Ko. Even if she left, on Elwood’s request – because she thought she might, and she knew it would be best for everyone – then at least there’d be that left. “I thought you might want to see this.”

                “I want to see you use it, actually.” Elwood said simply.

                She nodded. Elphaba had thought this might be the case, and she’d decided that the best thing to do would be to put on a show. So she set a chair on fire.

                Elwood shouted in surprise. “Ozma be damned!”

                Her lips curled into a smile. “I told you it was powerful.”

                “I don’t understand why you couldn’t have just told us this the first time you wrote.”

                “I thought you’d care enough about Fiyero’s people to do something, spellbook or no.”

                Elwood glared at her. “I don’t like being questioned.” He looked to Fiyero. “I do apologize for that. But we have to plan carefully. I’m sure, as a king, you understand.”

                Fiyero only nodded. She wanted to smack him. He should be fighting, arguing for his people. But he sat there complacently.

                “Are you going to help him or not? The Wizard’s people are practically camped out at Kiamo Ko. You will lose whatever manpower is out here if you don’t help them now.” Elphaba demanded.

                “We understand that.” Elwood sighed. “King Fiyero, would you mind if I talked with Fae for a bit?”

                “Not at all. I’ve been meaning to speak with one of the Yunamata elders, anyway.” Fiyero got up and left the hut.

                Elwood turned to her. “I don’t know if we can help them. It’s too early to attack, and that’s the only thing we can do in this case. If we launch an attack, it will bring the full force of the Wizard’s power down on us.”

                “But you’ll have all of his people, along with the other two tribes, beside you. They will follow him. I’ve spent enough time out here. They respect him. He may be young, but he brought peace to an area that’s been plagued with tribal warring for decades.”

                “Mounting an attack will be difficult without casualties. You won’t be able to get everyone out in time. You realize that, right?”

                Elphaba waved the book. “Yes, actually, I will. There is a spell in here. It will freeze them, still conscious, for eleven minutes. If Fiyero and his family are prepared to run, there will be time. And then we could come in and… take care of them all.” She wasn’t certain why she didn’t want to say kill them. After all, they were members of the Gale Force, part of the Wizard’s inner circle. Killing them was exactly what she had joined the Resistance to do.

                “Was that your idea or our precious King out there?”

                “His. He’s smart. He’s good at this. You underestimate him. You know he went to Shiz with me. Give him some credit. He can help you strategize and fight. He’s more than just a warm body between us and the Wizard, more than just someone to weaken the Wizard’s forces.”

                Elwood looked at her with uncertainty. “I’ll have to consider.”

                “We don’t have time!”

                “Fae, it’s late. Stay here tonight. You and the King. I hope he doesn’t mind sleeping on the ground. I know you don’t. It’s a one-room hut, and I’m sorry if he can’t deal with accommodations…”

                “Stop assuming he’s some pampered brat! He’ll be fine.”

                They ate a meager meal that even Elphaba was willing to admit wasn’t nearly as good as Sarima’s cooking. Fiyero and Elwood made small talk while she flipped through the book, as though she hadn’t obsessed over it for days, weeks.

                But the anxiety wouldn’t let her sleep. After several hours, she got up and went for a walk in the small village.

                “Fae…”

                She knew his voice and hushed him. “Fiyero, hush! What are you doing out here?” Elphaba had kept as far from him as possible, curling herself in the opposite corner of the room. And he’d known well enough to keep his distance, as well. At least, she thought she had.

                “I can’t sleep. And I can hear when you move. I’ve spent months in your bed now. I know the sound of your footsteps, the noises you make when you are struggling to actually fall asleep. I heard when you got up, and I thought I’d join you.”

                She sighed, but didn’t fight him. Instead, under the light of the moon, she let him place his hands on her hips and she rested her forehead against his chest. “I worry they won’t help us.”

                “They? Us? You’re one of them. Or has your mindset changed, Fae?” His voice was smiling.

                “It was a slip of the tongue.”

                “If they refuse to help, if he calls you back to do other work, will you go?”

                “I don’t... I should. And anyone who stays is dead. The best I could do in that case would be to cast that freezing spell and we all run. But I would probably run back to the City, to my work. Yes. You would probably need to leave Oz.”

                “I don’t want you to leave me,” he murmured into her hair.

                “Part of me doesn’t want to leave you,” she whispered back and kissed him.

                Elwood cleared his throat from behind them. “Fae?”


	18. Fighting Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba's passion about helping the Vinkun makes her leader question her motives.

**Chapter Eighteen: Fighting Back**

                 

                  She shooed Fiyero back into the hut quickly and he did as he was told. Then she looked at Elwood. “That’s not what it looks like.”

                  “It looks like you slept with him.”

                  “That I did. You told me to persuade him. I used whatever means necessary. And yes, that includes my own body. I’ve done it before. I don’t understand why it’s a problem.”

                  Elwood sighed. “As long as that’s all it is.”

                  “He wanted me. I let him have me. He’s going to fight beside us. If I hadn’t, I don’t know if he would’ve agreed. It can’t be much more than that, anyway, Elwood. He’s a married man – with children. I let him have his way with me when he wants. That’s all it is.”

                  “Good.” The other man sighed. “The way you two were standing, it just seemed a bit too… loving.”

                  “Sometimes he needs a little hand-holding. You sent me out here to give him what he needs to fight. That’s what he needs.” She tried to reason with herself that she was telling the truth, though she knew it was more than that. But if she could believe, for just a moment, that this was as temporary as she had originally intended, maybe it would be easier – especially if the Resistance refused to help him and she had to abandon her post.

                  “I see we chose the right woman for the task, then. I never considered you to be much of a temptress when it came to men.”

                  And she hadn’t wanted to be seen that way. She did her best work when she was alone. What she’d done with Fiyero hadn’t seemed like work at all. And when it came right down to it, no matter what she said to Elwood or to Fiyero, she knew sleeping with him had nothing to do with convincing him to join her cause. The idea of ever having to do this again with anyone else made her cringe. She never wanted another assignment that would require her giving up her body to anyone. Nothing would compare to Fiyero, anyway. “I’m not. I do what has to be done. And he was desperate for connection. It could’ve been anyone.” Although she hoped that wasn’t true.

                  “Very possible. It is quite isolated out here, isn’t it? No wonder the Wizard thinks he’ll get rid of them next. It would be quiet and easy.”

                  “We can’t let him.”

                  “We’ll talk about it more in the morning. Why don’t you come back inside and sleep, Fae? Clearly, you haven’t been doing much of that.”

                  She disliked the implication (true as it was) that she spent her nights letting Fiyero do what he wanted with her. Or maybe she just disliked the fact that it made her seem less human, detached, when the entire reason she’d slept with Fiyero in the first place was to come back to herself. But she wouldn’t tell Elwood that. Instead, she merely nodded and headed back into the hut. She didn’t sleep at all. And, listening to Fiyero’s breathing across the room, she knew he didn’t either.

                  In the morning, Elwood insisted on talking to her alone again. “What if we just helped them escape Oz? It’s too early to launch an attack, Fae.”

                  “So he has to flee? I thought we were doing this so that people could stay in the land they call home. How many Animals have fled, Elwood? The point of this was to stop the constant stream of refugees leaving Oz. You’re only adding to it.”

                  “I just don’t think his people are worth starting this too early.”

                  “How can you say that? You haven’t even met them. And you’ve known him for all of a day! You sent me out here to get him to fight. He’s ready and willing, and now you’re going to back out on him?”

                  “You’re a little too passionate about this, Fae.”

                  “I’ve been out here for months, Elwood. I’ve seen these people and walked amongst them. What did you expect?”

                  “Except most of your argument revolves around _him_ , not the people.” Elwood pointed out. “Last night, the way you were talking to him… it is more than you’re making it out to be, isn’t it?”

                  She looked away. “No! But you realize he was my friend before all of this, right? I went to school with him.”

                  “When I sent you out here, you emphasized how little you knew him back then. It doesn’t sound that way now.”

                  “I…” She faltered. “You don’t understand. We promised to help him if he agreed. You can’t just take that back.”

                  “The Wizard does it all the time. It’s what he’s doing now, actually. You told me his people promised Fiyero that they’d help him fight and supply him with weapons.”

                  “We’re better than the Wizard! Wasn’t that what we were trying to do? I will not stoop to his level, Elwood! Fiyero doesn’t deserve…”

                  “Again with that. You have lost focus. It’s about him to you, not about his people. You think I haven’t noticed? You were right last night when you said you weren’t much of a temptress. Because you went and fell for your damned target!”

                  “He wasn’t my target! No one told me to sleep with him. Stop making it sound like…” She realized she’d just proved Elwood’s point and sighed. “Fine. So things are a little complicated. That doesn’t change what we’re trying to do.”

                  “It changes your motives.”

                  “It doesn’t. Whatever you choose, I will follow your lead. You know that.”

                  Elwood shook his head. “Of all the people to get attached, it had to be you. You were always so good at staying distant. What you did that Lurlinemas Eve to your own headmistress and the…”

                  “I did what I had to.” She cut him off, not wanting to relive what she’d done. “And I still will. But I’m begging you not to make me. We can use him. You keep saying we’re not ready. We’ve been putting off an attack for years. I’m starting to think we’ll never take action.”

                  “Lurlinemas Eve was action!”

                  “Lurlinemas Eve was a massacre and an act of cowardice!” She snapped. “And I will not be party to something like that again. Because it did us no good. We still haven’t even started to fight. I was told that what I did would force a war, would cause an uproar. And still we’re here, too afraid. Three little girls died for nothing!” Her body was shaking, tears tearing a burning river down her face. “I did that for nothing.”

                  He must’ve heard her voice – the argument had gotten quite heated and loud. Fiyero was beside her in an instant, drawing her to him. She knew she should fight him, especially in front of Elwood. She did not want to look weak, but she allowed him to engulf her in his arms. “What is going on?” He asked quietly.

                  “This is a conversation you don’t need to be part of.”

                  Elphaba finally found the strength to wrench away from Fiyero. “No, Elwood. This is his future we’re talking about. Let him.”

                  Elwood shook his head. “He won’t like it.”

                  “I don’t like a lot of what I have to do,” Fiyero said. “But these are my people and this is my life and I do deserve to be a part of it.” He cast a sideways glance at Elphaba, who was hugging herself.

                  “I’m just not certain we can help you at this time,” Elwood said.

                  “You’d rather letter another minority be murdered than deal with this at the source,” Elphaba muttered. “How long before you do anything? Or were we never going to do anything at all?”

                  “Fae, you cannot possibly understand how careful we need to be.”

                  “Careful? I assassinated Madame Morrible in front of hundreds of people!”

                  “On purpose. That was the statement we were trying to make.”

                  “Then make another one! Prove to the Wizard we aren’t afraid to fight back, that we’re strong enough to fight back.”

                  At that moment, there was a flutter of wings and all three heads turned to see what the noise was. Immediately, she recognized the little bird. How had he gotten all the way out here? And why? She grabbed the book and chanted the spell. The bird said. _Something is wrong_.

                  “What do you mean?”

                  _The woman who was feeding me yesterday_ , _she stopped. She wasn’t at the window this morning and no one came when I tapped._ Elphaba had asked Sarima to feed the little bird while she was gone, having promised him food for a long time.

                  It could mean nothing. Or it could mean danger. Realizing that Fiyero and Elwood had no idea what was being said, she turned back to them. “We have to get back. Something is happening at Kiamo Ko.”

                  “I’ll come with you,” Elwood said.

                  Fiyero grabbed her wrist. “What’s going on?”

                  “It may be nothing.” But she knew it wasn’t. Elphaba had a very bad feeling about all of this.


	19. Another Statement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero, Elphaba and Elwood arrive back at Kiamo Ko to a tragic scene that spurs them into war.

**Chapter Nineteen: Another Statement**

                 

                  She could feel his hands tight on her waist as they hurried back to Kiamo Ko, as though he were holding onto her for dear life. His anxiety filtered through him into her, and she found herself leaning back into him for support, too. Knowing more of him was at risk than her, she whispered, “I love you.”

                  “I love you, too.”

                  “It’s probably nothing.” She tried, but the words hung in the air, neither one of them able to grasp tight enough onto them to believe them.

                  Elwood rode beside them. “I realize that you’re worried.”

                  Elphaba resisted the urge to glare at him.

                  “It’s just a bird. Not even a Bird. I’m sure it’s a false alarm.”

                  When they arrived, they all sensed that something wasn’t right. Fiyero rushed into the palace, though she tried to hold him back, worried that he might get himself hurt. “No, my children…” He tore away from her.

                  She chased after him, but silence filled the halls and she struggled to catch up to him until he stopped, almost frozen in the stairwell.

                  Sarima lay there at the top of the stairs, bleeding. Fiyero bent down beside her. “What happened?”

                  “They took the children,” she murmured, looking up at her husband with hazy eyes. “They took them.”

                  “How long ago?”

                  “It’s all running together.” Blood began to seep from her lips. She’d been beaten, and something inside her was bleeding, too.

                  Elphaba realized the woman didn’t have much time. “What about your sisters?”

                  Tears welled up in Sarima’s eyes and the woman could only shake her head. “Fiyero, go after them. The children… I don’t think it’s been long. Please. Upstairs.”

                  “I’ll stay with her,” Elphaba said quietly. She sensed that there was nothing threatening here, not anymore. She also knew the children were probably long gone, on their way to the City. But the woman was dying, and she wouldn’t say it in front of her. Let her think Fiyero might still save them.

                  Fiyero squeezed Sarima’s hand and got up. “I will be right back.” He looked stricken. “I… I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t…” But he couldn’t say more and merely headed up the stairs.

                  Elphaba took the hand of Sarima’s that Fiyero had dropped. “Sarima…”

                  “No. I know they’re gone. You will get them back.” The woman choked out.

                  “I…”

                  “And you will take care of them. And him.”

                  Elphaba couldn’t answer.

                  “You promised.”

                  “I didn’t mean this… Sarima, please. You don’t know who you’re talking to.”

                  “You will love them.”

                  “Sarima…”

                  “Promise me. One more time.”

                  “Sarima, please.”

                  “I don’t have time for this, Elphaba.”

                  Elphaba swallowed hard. “Fine. I promise. I will do everything in my power to save your children.”

                  “And you will take care of my family.”

                  “I promise.”

                  The woman didn’t say another word; she only held Elphaba’s hand as she slipped into whatever oblivion awaited her in the next life. Elphaba surprised herself when she realized that she was crying. “Sarima, I’m so sorry.”

                  Fiyero returned. “There’s no sign… oh, sweet Oz.”

                  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Elphaba covered her face with her hands. “There was no trace?”

                  “Just her sisters… don’t go up there.” He got down on his knees again. “We have to do something.”

                  Elwood approached them then. “Fae. Now.” He gestured down the hall. “Talk with me.”

                  She wiped the tears from her eyes, reminding herself the Resistance had to come first and got up. Elphaba squeezed Fiyero’s hand. “It’ll just be a moment.” When he nodded solemnly, she followed Elwood down the hall.

                  “This was a statement.” Elwood said simply.

                  “I’m tired of statements.”

                  “So am I. What I saw back there… they left her here to die. At least we put Morrible out of her misery quickly.”

                  _And those three little girls_. Elphaba shook her head. “We need to act.”

                  “We do.”

                  She looked at Elwood, surprised. “So we’ll fight with them?”

                  “We will fight. I think it’s best if we attack from within while you and whatever the Quadlings can muster attack from outside. We will get you assistance.” He meant guns and magic.

                  “Good.” She sighed. “I think you should tell him that yourself.”

                  Fiyero was stone-faced while he made plans with Elwood, keeping himself composed while they discussed their options and agreed that an attack needed to be launched within the week.

                  “You study that book,” Elwood said to her before she left.

                  “I will.”

                  When she turned back to him, Fiyero was holding his head in his hands. She went and knelt near him. “Oh, Yero, I’m so sorry.”

                  “What about Manek, Irji and Nor?” Fiyero murmured. “Do you think they’re still…?” He trailed off.

                  “If they were dead, Yero, they’d have left them here. They’re still alive.” She put a hand over his.

                  He looked at her. “I did this. I left them here…”

                  “No, Yero.” She whispered softly. “I did. I came out here in the first place.”

                  She didn’t expect him to come to her that night. They stayed in two small empty huts in the village – neither of them wanted to be in that palace. But sometime after midnight, he slipped into the hut she was in. “Fae?”

                  Elphaba sat up. They hadn’t spoken much that afternoon. He’d been too busy getting in contact with the other chieftains and organizing his people. She hadn’t known what to say. She still didn’t. “Fiyero, you shouldn’t be here. I think we know now how dangerous being with me has been for you.”

                  “Don’t say that. And I don’t care right now. Just stay with me. I don’t want anything. Just be here?” His voice broke.

                  “Oh, Yero, of course.” She welcomed him into her arms, holding him against her. She felt the urge to remind him that she loved him, but somehow it felt wrong tonight. So she brushed her hands through his hair and kissed his cheek softly. “I’m so sorry.” It occurred to her that she was the only thing he had at the moment, and the thought scared her. She wanted to promise him that they’d fix this, that they’d rescue his children, but she knew she couldn’t guarantee something like that. “They took the children as hostages. They won’t hurt them.” That much she knew.

                  “I realize that. But if we don’t get them back, that might change.”

                  “We’ll just have to get them back, then.”

                  They didn’t sleep that night, and Elphaba had a feeling there would be little sleep for quite some time. But she stayed up with him, caressing him and listening as he murmured his fears. She felt helpless, and she hated that feeling. Her fists clenched the more she thought about what had been done, and anger began to creep in. At first, she’d felt sadness and guilt, now anger began to mix with it and she wanted to rage against the Wizard. She wanted the man dead. At the moment, she was certain she could do to him exactly what had been done to Morrible and not feel even the slightest drop of guilt.

                  The next day, the three tribes gathered together and Elphaba stood, mostly silent, beside Fiyero as he discussed strategy with the other chieftains. She clutched the book to her – she hadn’t let it out of her sight. She suspected if she ever did sleep again, she’d hold it as she did. Mostly, she tried to keep her mind off of the promise she had made to Sarima.

                  She couldn’t care for Fiyero, or for those children. Elphaba had never been made for that. And how could she stay here, after what she’d done? Sarima and her sisters were dead because of Elphaba. How could she take their place? Fiyero deserved more than that, and so did the children.

                  That night, when he came to her again, she knew he needed a much more physical form of comfort. But the guilt wouldn’t let her look into his eyes and she knew he liked that during lovemaking – especially when she climaxed – so instead she took him into her mouth. She didn’t deserve any pleasure of her own, anyway. She knew ways to finish him quickly orally, and he never complained. Though neither of them had been exactly virginal at the start of the affair, they’d both shared a few firsts. This was one of his. And so it made him weak, and his endurance was low, which she didn’t mind. On nights when there was a danger of conception, she had usually stopped him when she knew he was close and closed her lips around him, pleasing him with her tongue instead. So that’s what she did tonight.

                  Afterwards, he held her close with arms so tight that his desperation almost bruised her. This time he slept, though nightmares plagued him and he tossed and turned. She stayed awake, wiping the sweat from his brow and whispering comfort to him when he woke. He needed her, and she’d stay beside him until she found a better way to help.

                  She sighed as the sun came up; another night without sleep. Elphaba looked down at Fiyero and shook her head. There were moments when she thought the easiest thing for all of them would be for her to die in this fight. And part of her hoped she did.


	20. The Long March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero begins leading his army towards the City. Elphaba wrestles with her guilt.

**Chapter Twenty: The Long March**

 

                  She was practicing her spells when Fiyero came bursting into the hut she was seated in. At once, several items came crashing to the floor. He looked at her sheepishly. “Sorry, Fae.”

                  “What is it?”

                  “I’ve just gotten word that Munchkinland is preparing – actually, parts of Munchkinland. Nessarose isn’t exactly thrilled with the idea, but I don’t think the people care. They’re rioting, Fae. They’re angry and they want a fight, too.”

                  “Munchkinland? Really?” She couldn’t imagine it. “Nessa must be absolutely horrified.”

                  “She’s not. The Unnamed God doesn’t condone violence.”

                  “Does she not remember what we saw in Quadling Country growing up? She cried every time we saw a dead Quadling. And that was quite often.” She closed her eyes, trying to forget the images of the bodies floating in the rivers, the massacres, the mines. At the same time, she felt strangely gleeful. With Munchkinland in the fight, they actually stood a chance, even if it was only parts of Munchkinland. Nessa only controlled certain parts, and these days the Eminence was more of a formality than an actual ruler.

                  “We head toward the City tomorrow. The troops from Munchkinland leave the next day. And your people will begin a riot inside the City only hours before we arrive. This is starting to sound…”

                  “Like it might be successful?” She smiled a little. “I just wish it hadn’t taken what it did to set this is motion.” Elphaba wrung her hands. “You’re a good man, Fiyero. What happened at Kiamo Ko… you never should have had to go through that.”

                  He looked at her for a moment. “You blame yourself.”

                  “Of course I do! Fiyero, if I’d never come out there, none of this would’ve happened.” She lowered her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

                  He grabbed her by the waist. “This wasn’t your fault.”

                  “Well it certainly wasn’t yours.”

                  “Oh? I let you come out here. It was my idea for you to mention the book, which brought your people out here.”

                  “Fiyero, you couldn’t have known.”

                  “And neither could you.” He pressed his lips to hers. “I don’t blame you. And you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

                  What was she supposed to do? She was responsible for more death than she’d ever wanted – had been since before she’d come out here. Sarima and her sisters (and possibly his children) were only additions to that terrible list. She tugged away from him and sat back down. “I tend to leave a trail of bodies wherever I go.” And she feared he’d be the next one. If he was, she didn’t think she could take it.

                  He sat beside her. “Fae, you didn’t do this. You didn’t kill anyone.”

                  “Fiyero, this is ridiculous. Stop trying to comfort me. You’re the one who needs it right now. Please don’t focus on me.”

                  “I love you,” he said.

                  She hadn’t said that since the tragedy at Kiamo Ko. Her love was a burden, and she didn’t want him to have to bear it. “Oh, Yero, you shouldn’t.”

                  “As if that made a difference. I don’t get to tell myself who to love or why. But I do love you.”

                  “I love you, too,” she whispered.

                  He pulled her towards him. “I need to finish preparing for tomorrow. I’ll see you tonight?”

                  “Fiyero, your people… you just lost your wife and you come in here every night. Have you thought about how that looks?” She bit her lip.

                  “You’re my liaison with the Resistance, aren’t you?” He squeezed her hand. “I need you right now, Fae. I don’t care how it looks.”

                  “For now.” She murmured as he walked out of the hut. Only for now.

                  That night, he made love to her. She tried not to let herself enjoy it, to only give and not to take any pleasure for herself. But he was always too attentive, and several times she felt herself clutching at him, wide-eyed with climax, breathing ragged and strained. He looked into her eyes each time and she felt like he could see all of her. Somehow she didn’t flinch, didn’t draw away. And neither did he. He saw everything: the cold, heartless person she’d been and whatever it was she was now. Still, he loved her. That scared her more than anything else.

                  As the night drew on, they stayed awake. Tomorrow, the world would change as they marched towards the City. Everything between them would likely change as well, assuming they both lived through whatever was to come. After she saved the children, she wasn’t so sure if she cared whether she lived or died. But first, she had to rescue Manek, Irji and Nor. She owed a debt to Sarima, and she didn’t intend to die without paying it.

                  At some point, she must’ve fallen asleep. She woke with his arms encircled around her. The sun wasn’t up yet, but it threatened to rise on the horizon. Gently, she nudged him awake. “You should get ready.”

                  “I know.” But he hesitated in her doorway. “Whatever happens in the next few days, Fae, I love you. I always will.”

                  She let him shuffle out the door without giving him a response. Elphaba stretched and reached for her oils. His scent clung to her, cloaked her body and she needed to rid herself of it, to remember that she was her own person independent of him. When she finished dressing, she slid her hand under her pillow and grabbed the book. She knew they probably wouldn’t see battle today – or even tomorrow – but she still wanted it with her.

                  They marched slowly towards the City, and the journey became tedious quickly. Elphaba took to enchanting small items on their way, and at one point decided to levitate a broomstick so she wouldn’t have to walk. Her feet ached and she didn’t have the tough, calloused feet that the tribal people had from running about this arid landscape without shoes so often. By nightfall, her feet were swollen and she collapsed onto the ground of her tent, simply glad to give her feet some reprieve.

                  “You look exhausted,” Fiyero laughed as he crawled into her tent. She couldn’t see him, but his presence always stirred something in her.

                  “I think my feet have more blisters than they would if I walked across a lake, Fiyero.” She propped her head up with her hands.

                  “Hmm,” he pulled the blanket away from her and took one of her feet into his hands, massaging gently at the heel. “You’re not used to this.”

                  “Mmm,” she murmured, closing her eyes for a moment. “I’m not. But I will be. My body has adjusted to many things; it can adjust to this, too.”

                  “Am I one of the things you’ve had to adjust to?”

                  “You know you are.” She drew her foot back and felt him grab the other one. “You are way too good to me.”

                  “I feel the same way about you. Most women aren’t quite as… adventurous as you.” He tickled the bottom of her foot playfully.

                  “We shouldn’t talk like this right now,” she decided.

                  “Fae…”

                  “Fiyero, please. I realize that we’re trying to forget the circumstances, but we can’t! We are marching towards the City in an act of war. Your children are most likely in a cell in Southstairs.” She didn’t even mention Sarima. Elphaba hadn’t told him the promise she’d made to the other woman, and she had no intention of ever telling him.

                  “Sometimes you make me feel so selfish.”

                  “Because you are,” she told him. “It’s human nature. I am, too. If you weren’t selfish, you wouldn’t be human, my love.”

                  “I just wanted to pretend everything was fine for a few minutes.”

                  “I know,” she said softly. “I’ve never been good at pretending.”

                  “You’ve tried to do that a lot lately, though.”

                  “I’m getting tired of it, Yero.” She hugged herself in the darkness. “I’m no good at any of this. All that I’ve done is get people hurt and throw us into a fight we might not be prepared for.”

                  He dropped her other foot and she felt him come closer, drawing her into his arms. “You never meant to hurt anyone. You have been trying to save Oz from the beginning.”

                  “Well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions,” she muttered wryly.

                  He nuzzled his face into her neck. “You need to stop worrying about everyone else and about the morality of what you’ve done. You’ll drive yourself mad. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about tomorrow, about the days after that, but I’d also like to enjoy whatever time I have with you, Fae.”

                  She sighed and leaned her head into him. “If only it were that easy.”


	21. Stay Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba decides to take a risk Fiyero doesn't exactly approve of.

**Chapter Twenty-One: Stay Safe**

 

                The Gale Force met them on the third day. They could see the Wizard’s armies in the distance as they approached. Upon first warning of the impending attack, Fiyero tried to send her to the back ranks. “You can do what you need from back there.”

                “No,” she insisted. “This is my fight, Fiyero. I will stay on the front lines.”

                “They have guns, and swords…”

                “I have the book.” She wouldn’t back down. “This is my decision. You know that.”

                He sighed and took her hand – something he hadn’t done in front of anyone before. “Promise me you’ll be safe.”

                _Safe enough for both of us,_ she thought. The reason she was doing this was to protect him more than anything else. His children needed a father, and she would make certain they still had one when they were rescued. “I promise,” she lied.

                He drew her to him and kissed her hard. “I love you.”

                She heard the murmurs of his people, but smiled into his eyes. “I love you, too, Fiyero.” Elphaba wasn’t certain she’d ever have the chance to say it again.

                As soon as they were close enough, she was setting fires under their feet. The looks of surprise among both the Arjiki people and the Gale Force delighted her. But the Wizard’s army had sorcerers of their own, and her fires were dealt with and only actually stopped a few soldiers in all. Beside her, Fiyero drew his sword. It occurred to her that she’d never seen him fight before.

                She chanted another spell that lifted the dry sands below their feet and blew the small grains into the faces the troops of guards. That wasn’t so easy for the sorcerers to deal with and clearly slowed the men down. At that point, Fiyero and his men attacked. She listened to the clash of metal as swords rang out and the sound of bullets firing. And she watched Fiyero.

                He acted as though he were no different from any of the other men fighting. He didn’t expect to be protected or to hide. She admired that, but it worried her. Elphaba almost wished he’d be selfish and keep himself safe. Instead she cast a shielding spell on him, though she wasn’t certain he knew. She was glad for that, though. If he knew, he might insist she cast it on everyone, and it was only to be cast on one person. Any attempts to cast the spell on anyone else would nullify the effects of the spell on him.

                She wasn’t able to do much else that day, and the fighting went on until it got dark and both armies retreated a bit and made camp. The firearms began malfunctioning after Elphaba began the sandstorm, their barrels clogged with grains of sand. The only real fighting was sword-on-sword, which Elphaba was no good at. It scared her, at times, because she could barely see Fiyero through the dirt and sand in the wind.

When the fighting wound down, one of Fiyero’s generals came up to her immediately. “Those spells were phenomenal. Where has King Fiyero been hiding you?”

                _In his bed_ , she thought to herself. “We didn’t want the Gale Force to know we had any kind of power. We discovered this book in the palace.”

                Another of the soldiers came up to her. “Are there any concealment spells?”

                Elphaba nodded.

                Fiyero walked up to them, then, sliding an arm around Elphaba’s waist. “What’s going on?”

                “King Fiyero,” his generals bowed, “I was thinking we could use her. She could sneak into their camp…”

                “That’s far too dangerous.”

                “Hear him out, Fiyero.” Elphaba carefully detached herself from him, then turned to the other men. “What was your idea?”

                “The fire. Their tents are side-by-side. If you set fire to one of their tents in the middle of their camp, they’d all burn and they wouldn’t even know what hit them.”

                “In the middle of their camp? She’d get herself killed.” Fiyero glared at her.

                “It’s actually a really good idea.” Elphaba insisted.

                “Absolutely not.”

                She looked at Fiyero’s men again. “Would you give us a moment?” Elphaba took Fiyero’s hand and drew him away. “What is wrong with you?”

                “I’m not putting you in harm’s way.”

                “It’s not your decision.”

                “Last time I checked, I was the king and these were my people.”

                “And this is _my_ life!”

                “And I love you, damn it! I won’t lose you, too.”

                “Yero, please. I have to do this.” She grabbed his arm. “I love you, too, but this is what needs to be done. If we get rid of most of their forces tonight, there won’t be much between you and the children. They’ll be divided between Munchkinland and the City. You’ll actually have a chance.”

                He buried his face in his hands for a moment, his face twisted with anguish. When he looked up, he nodded at her slowly. “Come back to me.”

                “I will try.” She took his hand and looked into his eyes. “I do love you. You need to trust me on this.”

                He kissed her. “I wish I could.”

                “I’m honestly surprised you didn’t think of this before they did.”

                Fiyero sighed. “I did, actually. I’d thought of it before we even started fighting, but I didn’t want to consider it. I knew that if I even mentioned the idea to you, you’d do it without question. I wasn’t sure I wanted that.”

                “Well, it’s too late now. Your men are too smart for you to get away with that.”

                He squeezed her hand. “I noticed.”

                With that, she headed back towards the other men. “I’m in.”

                “Well, we can’t do it now. Everyone is still awake, probably eating or strategizing. It needs to be in the dead of night. It’ll probably be a few hours.” Fiyero said softly. “We should all rest. Are the lookouts in place?”

                The men nodded.

                “Go to your tents, then. I want you up when she goes over there and ready to defend her should anything happen.” But both of them knew by the time anyone got to her, she’d be dead. As the other men walked away, Fiyero touched her cheek. “You’re coming to my tent. Now.”

                “You’ve got plans for me?” She tried to be playful, but the air between them was far too tense for it to actually sound that way.

                “I might tie you up,” he muttered, “and then not let you go.”

                “I’ve told you before I know how to get out of that.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “But you’re welcome to try.”

                He put a hand on her hip and guided her to his tent. “I intend to,” he said into her ear.  “I’m going to take full advantage of the few hours before you head over there.”

                “Shouldn’t I get some rest?” She raised her eyebrows at him.

                He dragged her into the tent. “You can get rest when it’s over.” As soon as the flap was closed behind them, he pressed his lips against hers, licking along her open mouth and dipping his tongue inside. “I want you naked. Now.” He told her as he unbuttoned his own shirt.

                “Now you’re talking like a ruler,” she laughed, reaching behind her and unfastening her dress. “So commanding.”

                “And you better obey.” He threatened as he finished undressing.

                She knew what this was. He was telling her what to do now because he knew he couldn’t control what she was about to do. So she let him. “I will do whatever you wish,” she murmured, laying back on the blanket and spreading her legs.

                “Not so fast.” He grabbed something she couldn’t see and she him bind her wrists. “There’s nothing to tie you _to_ , so I’ll just have to keep your wrists tied together.”

                “As you like it,” she replied, holding her wrists above her head. She could feel herself dripping and ready for him already, as though her impending mission only excited her more.

                He kissed her mouth again and then began kissing lower. As he teased her breasts, she writhed beneath him. One of his hands pushed her into the ground. “Are you struggling?”

                “Do you want me to?” She shot back.

                “No. I want you to enjoy it, not try to get away.”

                “Oh, I do enjoy it.” She tossed her head back as his tongue trailed along her ribs.

                “I can smell how ready you are for me. I just have to have a little taste.” And then she felt his tongue between her legs, running slowly along her mound. “Sweet Oz, you taste good.”

                She pressed her hips up and towards him. “I’m glad you feel that way.”

                He pushed a single finger all the way into her. “I’m going to make you come so hard, Fae.”

                “I want to. Please.” Her eyes closed as she felt his hand move, his lips still sucking at her folds. “Oh, Fiyero, yes.”

                His other hand shoved her legs down and he nibbled slowly at the sweet bundle of nerves between her legs, pressing his finger deeper as she cried out. It occurred to her that most of the men could probably hear them, but she’d stopped caring. “That’s right, come.”

                Her legs trembled and her lips quivered as she screamed. “Yero!”

                He drew back and thrust himself into her. “And that’s just the first of many.”

                “Gods, please just fuck me hard, Yero.”

                His arms wrapped around her legs as he began moving. “I’m going to. You like feeling that cock in you, spreading you open?”

                “Yes, yes, Fiyero, please.”

                Fiyero began pounding into her, sweat dripping from his forehead to hers. “I’m going to make you so sore.”

                “And I won’t regret it at all.” She lifted her hips towards him more. “Tear me apart, Yero. Harder. Don’t stop.”

                “Fuck, Fae, you are incredible.” He bit into her neck. “I need you. I love you, Fae.”

                “I know, Yero,” she murmured. “I love you, too… oh, sweet Oz, like that!”

                He drove into her over and over again as she found herself reaching her peak again, her hands forming fists and her toes flexing as she moaned in climax. He growled against her skin as he dove deeper, drawing out her pleasure.

He was true to his word, making her cry out so many times she thought she’d lost her voice. They both were drained when it was over. He fell quickly into sleep and she turned over and dressed again, trying not to disturb him. She didn’t want him trying to stop her. She’d made up her mind.


	22. A Dangerous Consideration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba and Fiyero have an argument about the risk Elphaba took.

**Chapter Twenty-Two: A Dangerous Consideration**

 

                She snuck over to the tents in which Fiyero’s generals were staying. The men sat outside, whittling at their spears and staring into the fire. “I see you didn’t take the advice King Fiyero gave you about getting some rest,” she commented.

                “It doesn’t sound like either one of you did, either,” one of the men replied dryly.

                Of course they had heard that. “I don’t believe that’s your business.” She folded her arms. “I need your assistance.”

                “Where is King Fiyero?” The other man asked suspiciously.

                “Asleep. He doesn’t need to worry about this. Here’s what I need from you: all of your archers need to be ready to shoot the men as they run out of their tents. That way, those who don’t burn alive will get shot.”

                “You’re going to be in the center of their camp. You could end up a target, especially in the dark of night. No matter how much fire is raging, it’ll be impossible to identify you.”

                “I have the concealment spell. And I don’t care.”

                “I doubt King Fiyero would be very forgiving if one of us accidentally shot his paramour.”

                “He won’t know which one of you took the shot if it happens. Besides, I think he’ll forgive you when he’s able to rescue his children.” She snapped. “Are you going to do it or not?”

                The two men looked at each other and exchanged glances.

                “We don’t have time for this. You need to wake your best archers. Now.”

                With a sigh, one of the men stood. “You’d better be sure about this.”

                “I am! I’ll give you ten minutes before I sneak over there. Make sure they’re ready.”

                The men ambled off reluctantly, and Elphaba practiced her spells by the light of the fire, hoping Fiyero wouldn’t wake up too soon. She knew he’d try to protect her, and he could jeopardize their chances in the process. After ten minutes, she looked up to see men lined around the edge of their camp, bows drawn. She hadn’t heard a single person move. They were ready. She took a deep breath and drew herself up. Elphaba made eye contact with one of the men and nodded before rushing off into the night.

                The Gale Force had made camp just barely within eyesight of the Vinkun camps. They wanted to keep an eye on each other, but they hadn’t wanted to be _too_ close. But Elphaba didn’t mind. Archery was better from afar, after all. The men should have no problem picking off every last soldier. Her heart raced as she chanted her spell. Elphaba didn’t feel any different, and to herself she looked the same. She could only trust that she was somehow concealed from the view of the Gale Force.

                She tiptoed carefully through the sandy terrain, glad that sand was mostly silent. Elphaba did not have the hunting and sneaking abilities that Fiyero or his people did. And she’d never been particularly good at staying silent. Elphaba did her best to avoid the lookouts, but soon she approached a spot where she knew them seeing her would be unavoidable. She didn’t even know exactly how the spell worked. What if they saw her?

                If they saw her, she resolved, she’d chant the fire spell and light the nearest thing, doing as much damage as she could. She wouldn’t go down without a fight. But when she stepped into the lookout’s line of sight, nothing happened. She moved slowly, afraid for some reason that more sudden movements might alert the watchful man of her presence. Yet nothing happened.

                It felt like hours had passed by when she finally reached the middle of camp. The only noises she heard were snoring and the crackling of small fires. She could tell when she’d reached the leader’s tent. Unlike Fiyero, the man clearly valued himself above others, sleeping in a larger, more ornate tent. Of course, all of the tents here were nicer than the ones any of the tribes had. This was what the government wasted money on instead of cleaning up the City or helping those who needed it.

                She shook her head. This was the time for action, not brooding. And this was the most dangerous moment of all. If someone heard her chant, or she was caught on her way out or hit by a stray arrow, she would most certainly face death. However, she didn’t fear that at all. She feared not knowing if Fiyero got his children back and not being able to help finish this. Death was something else entirely.

                And so she chanted the spell and watched the tent in front of her go up in flames. She stood, frozen for a moment, entranced by the light of the fire. Upon hearing the first shout, she tore herself out of her reverie and began running.

                All around her, men were screaming. Some of them were burning as they ran. She heard the first thud of the arrow as it hit a man near her and she ducked her head lower. It didn’t seem as though anyone could see her, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t get hit by something. She protected her face with her hands, as though that would do much. Her throat began to get dry and the smoke filled her lungs. She coughed as she fled.

                As soon as she got far enough away, she chanted the reversal spell and stopped to breathe. She saw a figure in the distance running towards her. Though it was coming from the direction of the Vinkun camp, Elphaba was turned around for a moment and wasn’t certain if she should run. But she was too tired to move much, and after a moment her senses returned to her and she was aware of where he was coming from – and who he was.

                “That was the most reckless thing you have ever done!” Fiyero snapped, grabbing her arm. “What in Oz were you thinking?”

                She yanked her arm away. “I was doing what needed to be done. Look at that, Fiyero,” she gestured towards the burning camp behind her. “We can get to the City basically unimpeded now. You can rescue your children.”

                “Could we have rescued them without you?”

                “Probably.”

                “I can’t believe you. You purposely begged me for sex, didn’t you? You _wanted_ me to fall asleep so that you could risk your life!”

                She shrugged. It had been a thought. “You suggested tying me up before I begged for anything.”

                “Oh, but you begged for me to be rough, to go faster. You tried to exhaust me.”

                “So what if I did?” She shot back. “You weren’t complaining!”

                “I didn’t know what you were doing. And I woke up to the sounds of their screaming and you were gone…”

                “And I’m fine. So you can stop acting like this.” She began to stride quickly back to camp. “Do I have to remind you that I am not your property, Fiyero? What I do is my decision.”

                He pursed his lips and shook his head. “You can’t keep acting like what happens to you doesn’t affect anyone, Fae. You aren’t just a nameless member of the Resistance – not to me.”

                “I still have my own free will.”

                “You do, but you have spent the last six years of your life not having to answer to anyone but some faceless boss. You’re a part of my life now, and I’m a part of yours. You have to consider that when you run off like that!”

                “I was considering you! I was considering how we could best win this battle without hurting you. I was considering the fastest way to get to the City and rescue your children. Don’t you _ever_ say I wasn’t considering you! I did it _for_ you, you imbecile!” They were on the edges of camp, and a few of Fiyero’s men were now peeking out at them.

                Fiyero sighed. “But you acted on impulse. You didn’t stop to think about it or talk to me about it. I wasn’t involved in the decision at all.”

                Aware of the people around her, she lowered her voice a little. “Because I knew you wouldn’t let me do it. There isn’t time to stop and think. There isn’t time to talk. Do you realize that? This is war. This isn’t about us, Yero. I love you. But that doesn’t matter right now. It can’t.”

                He drew her into his arms. “This argument isn’t getting us anywhere, is it?”

                She laughed. “No.”

                Fiyero kissed her hard. “I’m just glad that you’re safe.”

                “Slow down there, my hero. I’m exhausted. And we have only two hours before we have to pick up and begin marching again. I’m going to rest.” She kissed his cheek softly. “Let’s focus on rescuing your children, Yero. Not on me.”


	23. Into the Palace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elphaba and Fiyero reach the palace and go after the children, but Elphaba gets injured in the process. They run into an old friend.

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Into the Palace**

 

                She knew there’d at least be a small troop of the Wizard’s forces guarding the City. The Gale Force had to know by now that they were coming. But, from the little she did hear from the other armies in Munchkinland and Quadling Country, they’d be pretty divided because they’d all reach the City about the same time. And hopefully, their forces within the City would also cause turmoil for the Wizard. But she hadn’t heard from anyone in the City. It was probably difficult to get word out to her in the midst of everything.

                Fiyero rarely left her side as they marched during the days and kept her in his tent each night. She realized he was afraid of losing her and had to remind herself that she was all that he had at the moment. The circumstances they’d been thrust into had strengthened their feelings much faster than she thought was normal, and sometimes it scared her.

                The Gale Force troop that met them at the entrance to the City felt like nothing. They didn’t lose a single man in the battle, though some of them – including Fiyero – had a few cuts and bruises. She expected she’d be tending to those wounds later. But right now, she knew he barely felt them. He had other things on his mind.

                They marched towards the Palace, the armies of Munchkinland and Quadling Country joining them. Fiyero led them all.

                The Palace was almost empty when they got there. Obviously, it had been evacuated. While most of the men continued onward in search of the Wizard, Fiyero and Elphaba headed down into the cellars, where the cells were. A few guards still held their ground.

                Elphaba immediately cast fireballs at them, but there was a sorcerer among them who lessened the impact. Quickly, she cast the same protective spell she’d used before over Fiyero. As she did, someone came lunging towards her and she ducked, but not enough.

                She felt a sharp pain in her shoulder and screamed. She heard the clang of swords and saw a flash of ochre as Fiyero attacked the man who had lunged at her. A spear ripped into the man’s chest and he went down.

                Fiyero went to her, then. “Fae…”

                “Get your children. Now. Don’t worry about me.” She knew she was bleeding, though she wasn’t sure how bad.

                “But you need help.”

                “There are two more guards who just ran down that hall. For all we know, they’re going after the children. Go, Fiyero. I’ll take care of myself.” She felt weak, and leaned against the wall. “Damn it, just go!”

                He gave her a pained look but ran further into the maze of cells. She cringed and attempted to look at her wound. Elphaba couldn’t see amongst all the blood. The sight made her lightheaded and she slid herself to the floor, reaching towards the dead man near her. She needed cloth to slow the bleeding; she didn’t have a lot of medical training, but she knew that much.

                But even as she pressed the ripped piece of shirt to her skin, she felt herself fading. She pushed harder, tried to focus on the pain, but the darkness came in from the sides of her eyes until she fell into a void of nothingness.

 

                It was hazy and the world was blurry. When she opened her eyes, she couldn’t even see shapes at first. “Fiyero?”

                “Guess again.” The voice was familiar and bubbly.

                She moved her good arm and wiped at her eyes, things finally starting to focus. “It can’t be.”

                “Yes it can, Elphie.” Glinda replied.

                “Where’s Fiyero?”

                “With his children. But I’m sure he’ll want to be here the moment he knows you’re awake, which is why I’m not telling him until I get to talk to you a bit.”

                “They’re alive? Thank Oz.” And she sank back into oblivion.

               

                She was much more conscious the next time she woke. At first, she’d thought Glinda had only been a dream, some sort of hallucination of her healing body. But when she opened her eyes, she saw clearly this time. The blonde sat on the edge of her bed, smiling. “Feeling better, Elphie?”

                Elphaba nodded. “What happened?”

                “That is Fiyero’s story to tell. I think you have a few stories to tell me, though.” She folded her arms across her chest. “You left me, all of us. And now you show up… When Fiyero carried you in here, I thought you were dead.”

                “He brought me here?”

                “He knew I was in the City and he knew I dabbled in nursing. He didn’t know where else to go with all the commotion.”

                “What did he tell you?”

                “He hasn’t said much at all, to be honest. He’s been concerned about his children. I understand they lost their mother. He just told me you were working with the Resistance, had been helping him in the war and had gotten injured in the process of getting his children back.”

                So Glinda didn’t know there was more to her relationship with Fiyero, did she? Elphaba decided to keep it that way, for the moment. “I don’t know that there’s much for me to tell, either.”

                “Where did you go?”

                “To find the Resistance.”

                “And you obviously succeeded.”

                “I did.” Elphaba sighed. “There isn’t much else to tell.”

                “What did you do for all that time? Where did you live?”

                “I did what I had to and lived where I could.” She shrugged. “Look, it wasn’t eventful. But I had to. After what we heard from the Wizard, I couldn’t stay.”

                “And somehow you ended up in the Vinkus?”

                “The Resistance needed more people before they began to fight. Before I was even allowed to join, they did some very thorough research on me. They knew I’d gone to school with Fiyero. They wanted me to convince him. They thought him having known me before would help.” She hugged herself.

                “Why did you leave me?”

                “I didn’t leave you. I did what I had to. Please don’t put it that way, Glinda.”

                “You just dropped everything and left, Elphie.”

                “I couldn’t go back and learn from that woman. I couldn’t be a part of that.”

                “That woman? You mean Morrible? She’s dead now. I suppose you know that. It was your people. Perhaps you were involved somehow.” Glinda said flippantly.

                Elphaba said nothing.

                “Not that it matters now, I suppose. Nessa will be enraged when she finds out…”

                “Don’t tell her.” Elphaba pleaded. “I… I’m not ready to talk to her yet.”

                Glinda looked at her with a mixture of pity and disdain. “You can’t hide forever.”

                “I can. When this is over, I’ll…”

                “Elphaba, it is over.” Glinda said suddenly. “The Wizard is dead.”

                “Wait, what? How long have I…?”

                “Two days. Fiyero’s been in here plenty, more than I should think appropriate for an old friend. I get the feeling you’re leaving something out.”

                “We got close. I was there when his wife died.” Elphaba said defensively. “They took his children and killed his wife. I was the only friend he had. Of course he’s worried about me.”

                Glinda merely shook her head.

                She asked quietly. “Where is he?”

                “We’re in the guest house. He’s just down the hall.” Glinda smiled. “Elphie, you’re not done explaining yourself.”

                “I’m sorry,” she murmured. Elphaba pulled herself out of the bed, feeling her left shoulder tighten a little as she did. Looking down, she saw she was still wearing the same clothes she’d been wearing when she’d been stabbed in Southstairs. “Perhaps I ought to change.”

                “I have a nightdress you can wear. I’m afraid none of my other clothes will fit you. We’re not quite the same size.” Glinda had always been a little curvier than Elphaba. Her breasts had filled out even more and her hips were wider. She went to a drawer and brought out a white frilly thing, laughing when Elphaba cringed.

                “Do you have any oil? Any kind will do. Olive? Mint? Coconut?”

                Glinda gave her a confused look.

                “You never wondered how I bathed?” Elphaba grumbled. “Now you know my secret.”

                “Oh!” Glinda’s cheeks flushed red. “Let me see what we have. I’ll be right back.” She left the room.

                Elphaba looked around the room. The sheets she’d been laying on were a light pink and lace. She laughed a little. Glinda was still the girl she remembered. She sat back down on the bed, wanting desperately to leave the room and run down the hall, to see Fiyero and his children, but she knew she must wait.

                Maybe he wouldn’t want her anymore, now that he had his children back. What if he simply wanted to return home? She’d disappear again, find a way to work behind the scenes and he could return to what was left of his life in peace. That would be easier, wouldn’t it?

                But what about what she’d told Sarima? Elphaba took a deep breath and buried her face in her hands for a moment, muffling a sob.

                Glinda reentered the room. “This is all we had. It’s aloe…”

                “That’ll do fine.” She took the bottle from the blonde. “Um, I’d kind of like to be alone while I…”

                “Right.”

                “I’ll come find you in a bit?”

                “Of course.”

                She focused on the familiar task of rubbing the aloe on her body, refusing to think. And then she pulled the hideous nightdress over her head. She looked in the mirror and snorted at her appearance. Then she opened the door.

                “Fae!” Fiyero stood only feet away, talking to Glinda. He glared at the blonde. “You didn’t tell me she was awake!”

                “I wanted her to myself for a few minutes.”

                Fiyero rolled his eyes and then reached for Elphaba. “I’m so glad that you’re…” But he couldn’t finish his words. Tears were welling in his eyes and he kissed her instead, drawing her against him.

                Elphaba tugged away carefully. “Yero, not here.”

                Glinda merely stared at the two of them with her eyebrows raised. “I suppose we do have a lot more to catch up on then, don’t we?”


	24. No Good Deed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glinda and Elphaba have a confrontation over what happened six years ago when Elphaba abandoned her.

**Chapter Twenty-Four: No Good Deed**

 

                “Actually, Glinda, I know you’re really eager to talk to her, but could you please give us a few minutes?” Fiyero didn’t even look away from Elphaba’s face as he spoke. “And then I promise we’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”

                “Excuse me?” Elphaba demanded. “You do not get to make that promise for the both of us.”

                “I’m glad you’re feeling well.” He smiled. “Now why don’t we just step in here?” Fiyero took her hand and dragged her back into the room she’d been sleeping in and slammed the door behind them. He sat down on the bed and looked at her.

                “You found the kids?”

                He nodded.

                “Unharmed?”

                “Traumatized, but physically they’re fine.”

                “Good.” She sat beside him. “The Wizard is dead?”

                “So I’ve heard. I sent some of my men after him and the Gale Force guarding them, and one of the Munchkinland generals caught him and dealt with him. Right now everything’s in a bit of an uproar.” He cupped her cheek. “I worried about you. When you didn’t wake up right away, I thought…”

                “I’m fine, Yero.” She put her hand over his. “It just hurts a little.” She hadn’t even looked at it when she’d changed. Another scar. What did it matter?

                “When I came back with the children and you were on the ground like that, I thought you were dead. There was so much blood, Fae. And then I felt for your pulse. It was so faint.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t lose you, too.”

                “I’m here,” she reassured him.

                “Only because I got to you in time. You should never have let me go on. You knew how bad it was, didn’t you?”

                “I had a feeling. Fiyero, your children’s lives are more important. I’m a grown woman. I can take care of myself, make my own decisions.”

                “You need to stop looking at your life that way. What you do has an impact on other people.”

                “Why do I feel like we’ve have this conversation?” She rolled her eyes. “Look, Glinda is probably going to kill us if we don’t talk to her.”

                Fiyero laughed genuinely at that. “Probably.” He paused. “I suppose we’ll figure the rest of this out later.”

                The rest of what? “Yes.”

                “What are we going to tell her? About us?”

                “Well, you let the cat out of the bag when you decided to embrace me in the hallway, Fiyero.” She groaned. “I guess at this point, we tell her the truth.”

                “All of it?”

                “Whatever you’re comfortable with. I’m not much of a talker. I’ll leave it to you.” She got up again.

                He got up and kissed her mouth. “I love you. The kids have been asking about you.”

                She tried not to visibly cringe at that. “Really?”

                “They saw you when I found you, Fae. They were a little worried about ‘Auntie Witch,’” he teased. “I’m sure they’ll be relieved to know that you’re doing well.”

                She looked away. Sarima wanted her to care for those children, but how could she? What sort of mother figure would she make? She was cold, distant and stern. They’d be better without any mother figure at all.

                “Fae?”

                She blinked tears from her eyes and looked back at him, forcing a smile. “Let’s go talk to Glinda.”

                He looked hesitant, but took her hand. “Yes, let’s.”

                Glinda stood outside the door, tapping her foot. “Why don’t we all retire to the sitting room, then? The children have been put to bed, after all.”

                “What time is it?” It was a question Elphaba hadn’t thought to ask until that moment.

                “Dinner was two hours ago. I’m sure you’re probably hungry. I’ll have something made up for you.” Glinda seemed strained. “Fiyero, you know where the sitting room is. I’ll meet you in a moment.”

                “Is it what you thought it would be?” He asked as he led her down the hall.

                “Is what?”

                “Seeing her again after all this time.”

                “I never thought I would, actually. Why’d you take me here?”

                “I didn’t know where else to go. And I knew, no matter what way the battle turned, she wouldn’t turn either of us in.” He opened a door for her.

                She was in a room filled with elegant white couches and small tea tables. Elphaba felt strange just sitting down, but did as she was expected to do. Fiyero sat beside her and put a hand on her knee. She wouldn’t look at him.

                Glinda entered carrying a small tray of biscuits. “I wanted something that would be easy on your stomach. This should go well. We’ll get you a full meal in the morning.” She placed them on the small table in front of the couch. Seeing Elphaba hesitate, she said, “Go on, eat.”

                Elphaba took a biscuit and began munching on it slowly. “Thank you.”

                Fiyero squeezed her knee and turned to Glinda. “I’m guessing you want an explanation for that little display in the hallway.”

                “I want an explanation for a lot of things, but we can start with that.”

                “This isn’t going to be the most romantic or the sweetest story. I don’t know what you’re expecting.” He leaned back on the couch. “When Elphaba came out to talk to me about joining the Resistance, we started an affair. At one point, it was supposed to be purely physical between us, but that didn’t quite work. It grew from that point and,” he glanced at her, “I love her. It was a stupid thing to do, immoral and wrong, but… I don’t think I regret it.”

                “So your wife…?” Glinda asked quietly.

                “Was still alive when we started this, yes. Things are complicated in the Vinkus, Glinda. Marriage is complicated.”

                “Fiyero,” Elphaba said, “you don’t owe anyone an explanation for what you’ve done.”

                “But you do,” Glinda turned on her. “Say what you want, Elphie. You left me to travel back to school _alone_. You abandoned me. That journey alone! Anything could’ve happened to me. And then I was forced to explain to your sister and your Nanny that you weren’t coming back! How could you do that to me?” Tears streamed down the blonde’s face.

                “Glinda, it hurt me, too. But I couldn’t do what I intended to do and still be your best friend, or be a sister to Nessa. It was too dangerous for all of you. If it had been up to me, I wouldn’t have even gone out to Kiamo Ko six years later. It was still dangerous, as I think we all now know.”

                “You could’ve talked to me, at least!”

                “You know I couldn’t! They put some sort of spell on us.”

                “There had to be something you could’ve said to me.”

                Fiyero intervened. “Glinda, please. She’s still recovering.” He wrapped an arm around her.

                “Stop defending her! She owes us an explanation. You may have forgiven her, but you barely knew her.” Glinda snapped at him. “After she left, nothing was the same.”

                “It never would’ve been, even if I’d stayed. After that trip, we were jaded. At least I was. I can only imagine you were, too.”

                “Perhaps. But you were my best friend. And then you were gone.”

                “And I am so sorry. I never meant for you to get hurt.” She looked at Glinda and Fiyero as she said that. “All I’ve done is hurt people. That was never my intention.”

                “We know that, Fae,” Fiyero said gently.

                “I am mad,” Glinda began, “but I do realize you didn’t do what you did out of malice.”

                “It doesn’t matter why,” Elphaba found herself playing with her hair, twisting it around her finger. She hadn’t done that since Shiz. It felt so juvenile. “I worked so hard to keep the people I loved safe and all it did was cause them pain.”

                Fiyero took her trembling body into his arms. “Hush, Fae.”  He gave Glinda a look. “I think that’s enough for tonight.”

                Glinda nodded solemnly. “Elphie… it really is good to see you again, my friend.”

                Elphaba gave Glinda a sad smile. “And you.”

                “I, uh, I expect you’ll be…” Glinda pointed at Fiyero and Elphaba, obviously struggling for words.

                “Sharing a room?” Fiyero supplied. “Not if you’re uncomfortable with us doing so.”

                “It’s fine. I’m sure you two have a lot to say to each other. Besides, that makes one less room for the servants to clean.”

                “Yes,” Fiyero said, looking at Elphaba imploringly, “there is a lot we need to say.”


	25. Love and Duty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiyero and Elphaba discuss what happens now that the war is over.

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Love and Duty**

 

                “How are you feeling, Fae?” He asked when he closed the door behind them.

                “I’m fine, Yero. I told you. You should get some rest. Your children will be awake before you if you don’t sleep soon.”

                He removed his shirt and lay back in the bed. “Come here. We should talk about a few things before bed.”

                His arms looked so inviting, and she crawled in beside him. In his embrace, she felt safe and peaceful and she cursed that feeling. Being with him couldn’t be as easy as it seemed, not after everything she’d done. “What is it?”

                “The war is basically over. All that’s left is picking up the pieces. I don’t want to be in the City for that. The wellbeing of my people is secure for now, and that’s really all that matters to me. Somehow I don’t think that it’s the same for you.”

                “It’s strange,” she admitted. “I’ve spent so long dreaming of this war, wanting the man dead, and now I realize I never had any idea what would happen when it ended.”

                “So you don’t want to stay in the City?”

                “I… I don’t know.” She rested her head on his chest. “I don’t know if they can use me.”

                “You’d let them? After everything?”

                “It would depend.”

                “Don’t, Fae. You’ve given up enough of your life, enough of yourself. You deserve a life.”

                “But I don’t deserve one. And I never wanted one.”

                “I’m going to stop dancing around the question and ask you to come back with me. I want you there, Fae. I want you at Kiamo Ko. If it makes you feel better, you can keep corresponding with your people, make sure things in the Vinkus are the way they would want. You’d be married to a king, after all.”

                “Married?” She repeated.

                He bit his lip. “I’ve asked you before.”

                “You asked me before because you thought it would save my life. And I refused.”

                “Are you refusing again?”

                “Fiyero, your definition of marriage and mine are probably quite different.”

                “I think they’re a lot more similar now than they were months ago. I’m not asking you to be one of several wives. I’m asking you to be my only wife. I’m asking you to come home.”

                “I wouldn’t be good at keeping house and cooking.”

                “Then we’ll both learn how. And the children… they could use someone…”

                Elphaba was quiet for a moment. She had promised Sarima. Over a year ago, she’d killed three children in an effort to make a change. Now she had saved three others. But they needed protecting, and they needed a mother. She wasn’t a mother. But she had vowed to protect and care for those children. The best way to do that was from Kiamo Ko. “That’s really what you want? How will your people take it?”

                “My people don’t much care about the queen. The king holds all the power. I know that’s terribly sexist, but we do have a tendency to be barbaric about some things.”

                “Our society is mostly patriarchal. Yours is no different.” Being relegated to the background, to merely a role she would have to play. Could she live in such a world?

                “Marry me, Elphaba. I’m absolutely serious.”

                On the other hand, he loved her. She wasn’t stupid. A chance at love would never come again, especially not for her. She wouldn’t have to bear his children – he already had them. If she ever was to play the role of wife, the role of mother, didn’t it make sense that it would be in an unconventional way? She looked into his pleading eyes. “You’re certain?”

                “More than anything.”

                “You don’t think it’s too soon?”

                “I don’t care. I want you for the rest of my life and this is the time to ask. So I’m asking. Marry me.”

                “I suppose I could.”

                “So you will?”

                She nodded.

                He kissed her deeply. “I love you.”

                “I love you, too,” she smiled. “Now, we really should rest, Yero. We have to break this news to your children and Glinda in the morning, and that’s going to be exhausting.”

                He laughed and she could feel it rumble through his chest as he closed his eyes. “Goodnight.”

                The next morning after breakfast, Fiyero put the children down for a nap and they sat down in the study with Glinda, drinking tea. She looked straight at Elphaba. “What are you hiding, now?”

                “How…?” Elphaba was amazed.

                “You were my best friend once. And you were never as subtle as you thought. Besides, even if I didn’t know you, Fiyero is pretty obvious.”

                Fiyero put a hand on Elphaba’s shoulder. “I asked her to marry me. And she agreed.”

                “You… and Elphie… married?” Glinda stared at them confoundedly for a moment. “Married?”

                Elphaba only nodded.

                Glinda’s face sprung into a smile. “That’s lovely news. Would you mind if I stole Elphaba away for a bit, talk about girly things?”

                “Go ahead. I’ll check on the children. We plan on telling them when they wake up, anyway.” Fiyero got up and headed into the other rooms.

                “He looks a lot happier about this than you do.” Glinda observed.

                “I’m happy,” she answered quickly.

                “Not as happy as you should be.” Glinda took Elphaba’s hand. “What is going on? I know we haven’t spoken in a long time, but let me help you.”

                “There’s nothing wrong, Glinda. I do love Fiyero. I was just never the marrying kind.”

                “But you’re marrying him.”

                “Glinda, when Sarima died, I was with her. He was off trying to save the children. I promised her I would take care of Fiyero and the children. So that’s what I’m doing.”

                “That’s why you’re marrying him? Are you crazy?”

                “I’m not. I’m doing what I have to. Do I love him? Yes. Am I absolutely certain I would marry him if I hadn’t made a promise to his dead wife? No. I wasn’t cut out to be a mother or a wife, but I will. I caused Sarima’s death. It’s only fair I repair what I’ve broken.”

                “Elphaba, that is not the way to look at this. You’re marrying the man you love.” Glinda grimaced. “That sounds so strange to say that to you. You, in love.”

                Elphaba cracked a smile at that. “That much is true.”

                “Then be happy. Love him because you feel for him, not out of some strange sense of duty.”

                “I can do both.”

                “Don’t let one ruin the other, though.” The blonde squeezed her hand. “I’m never going to forgive you for leaving me, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve at least a little happiness.”

                “I don’t. You wouldn’t say that if you knew.”

                “Knew what?”

                But Elphaba only shook her head.

                “Does Fiyero know whatever it is?”

                “Yes.”

                “But you can’t tell your best friend?”

                “Glinda, we hadn’t spoken in years until less than a day ago.”

                “Well, you hadn’t spoken with Fiyero in years and it sounds like you made up for that pretty quickly.”

                Elphaba clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. “Glinda!”

                “I’m being honest. I didn’t say there was anything wrong with it. But clearly you two had some unresolved tension you needed to work out. Now, tell me, Elphaba. What is it?”

                As it always had been with Glinda, the young woman had a way of making Elphaba talk. “You remember what happened to Madame Morrible? You brought it up. You assumed my people had a part in it. You were right.”

                “Oh, Elphie, no…”

                “I did it. On their command, but I did it. I saw that those little girls were in harm’s way, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t. I just…” Elphaba looked away. There were no tears this time.

                “Oh sweet Oz.”

                “So now you understand. I don’t deserve love, Glinda. That’s why, if I hadn’t promised Sarima, I wouldn’t stay with Fiyero. Because I don’t deserve it. Not because I don’t love him.”

                Glinda was only staring at her when Fiyero came back in the room. “They’re awake. And they want to see you, Fae. They’ve been asking about you constantly, and when I told them you woke up…”

                “Of course.” Elphaba gently withdrew her hand from Glinda’s and got up.

                Fiyero smiled kindly at Glinda. “Thank you again, for everything you’ve done.”

                “It was nothing,” Glinda said blankly.

                Elphaba headed into the room where the children had been sleeping. At once, she heard cries of “Auntie Witch!” She wondered if she’d ever get used to that. She forced a smile and leaned down towards the children. Irji hobbled over to her, Manek practically bounced. Nor sat still on the floor, watching her uncertainly.

                Fiyero put an open hand on her back. “Nor hasn’t been the same since… she hasn’t said a word. I don’t know what to do.”

                Elphaba walked over to the young woman. “Nor, did you want me to read to you?”

                The little girl merely continued to stare at her.

                She didn’t know how women did it. How was she supposed to understand anything when the little girl wouldn’t speak? This was insane! What had she been thinking? She could never be any sort of guardian to these children.

                Fiyero sighed, then sat down. “Children, we have something we want to tell you…”


	26. Words Unspoken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story comes to a bittersweet end.

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Words Unspoken**

 

                Fiyero had sent his men to march back without them. He had to finish up one or two things here in the City, things only the king could handle. They met with Elwood twice more, as well. Though he never said a word about their relationship, Elphaba could feel the way Elwood looked at her, as though she were a traitor to her cause and to herself. Sometimes, she thought he might be right.

                After a few days, Fiyero had moved all of them into an inn down the street from Glinda’s home, not wanting to impose further on their old friend. The innkeeper’s wife helped look after the children during the days, though Elphaba did her best to help. Even the old woman seemed better at caretaking than she, though, and she usually just watched from the doorway as the children played.

                Nor still wouldn’t speak. There were no outward signs of abuse, but Elphaba had the nagging feeling that the poor child had been there when her mother was beaten. Manek and Irji spoke in passing once or twice about their mother, but they seemed to understand she was gone. Occasionally they cried for her, which was not unexpected. At those times, Elphaba let Fiyero handle it. She couldn’t stand comforting them when she’d been the one to cause their anguish.

                At night, he’d bury himself within her, and she’d give and take until they were both satisfied. She felt the most like she belonged with him at those times, when he’d stay up talking to her about politics, about the decisions he had to make, or about his worries about the children. She was good at that. The rest of it was beyond her.

“Oh, Yero, yes!” She murmured as he moved over her, bringing himself into her again and again as he rode her. “Just like this.”

“You feel so good.” His voice rumbled in his throat like a low growl. She could only hear him because his lips were against her ears. “Fae…”

She clutched at his back, nails digging into his flesh. “Please, Fiyero!”

He drove into her again and bliss overtook her. He grinned as she whimpered and kissed his way down her collar. “I love you.”

She could see in his eyes that he was almost finished, and she pushed her hips against his, watching his eyes widen. “I love you, too.”

He groaned as he thrust into her once more and collapsed beside her. “That was incredible.”

“It always is,” she laughed.

“It’s like all my stress, everything that worries me is just gone when I’m inside you.”

“She still isn’t talking to you, either, is she?”

                He stopped and sighed. “No, she’s not.”

                “We have to do something.” Neither one of them had said her name, but it was clear they were talking about Nor. “Yero, she’s young but if she continues this…”

                “I realize that.” He got up to get a bottle of oil for her. “I just don’t know what to do.”

                She took the oil from him and stood. It had become a ritual of theirs. After making love, he helped her cleanse. Most of the time, they were able to keep their passion from growing again into yet another bout of sex. “I know it’s hard, Yero. But she can’t go on doing that. We have to figure something out.”

                “Well, let me know when you do,” he grumbled, beginning to massage the oil into her skin.

                She leaned back into him. “I’m sorry.”

                “You didn’t do anything,” he insisted. “You’re right. Something needs to be done. Maybe a physician.”

                “Perhaps.”

                “By the end of the week, if she hasn’t improved, I’ll take her to one. I only hope that can help her.”

                She turned to him and kissed him sweetly. “You’re a good father, Fiyero. One day she’s going to understand that. And she’ll be able to tell you so.”

                Glinda had Elphaba over for lunch the next day. She’d tried to get her to go _out_ for lunch, but Elphaba still wanted to avoid being seen too much. Her goal was to retreat quietly to Kiamo Ko as soon as Fiyero was done with his business. “I’ve been thinking,” Glinda said quietly, “about when you left, and what you said.”

                “I thought we’d talked this to death already,” Elphaba muttered.

                “I just… I don’t think I’ll ever quite forgive you. But I do think I understand.” Glinda put her hand over Elphaba’s and smiled gently.

                “Thank you, I think.”

                “I want you to know, Nessa has asked about you. She thought, with what’s happened, that maybe you’d come out of whatever hiding it was you were in. I didn’t respond to her letter. I thought that was your decision. I think you should talk to her, Elphie.”

                “I’m not there yet, Glinda. But maybe one day.”

                Glinda nodded quietly. “I hear you’re leaving in a day or two. Will I be invited to the wedding?”

                “It’s going to be a quick and small affair. But if you’d really like, of course you may come. It would be wonderful if you would, actually. I’ve missed my friend, even if I haven’t quite said it.”

                Glinda grabbed her and engulfed her in a hug. “I hope whatever happens, that you’re happy, Elphie. I really do.”

                Elphaba returned to the inn an hour or two later and watched the old woman try to coax Nor into speaking. But the little girl was stubborn, and simply stared. For a moment, Elphaba was reminded of herself. Which is when she got an idea. She approached the old woman. “Are there any glassblowers nearby? I was thinking of picking up a trinket before we returned to the Vinkus.”

                The old woman nodded and gave her directions. Elphaba left without telling her why. When she returned, Fiyero was back. “I was a bit worried when you weren’t here.”

                “If we’re going to be married, you need to get used to me not doing what you expect of me. The children aren’t in bed yet, are they?”

                “No.”

                “Good. I bought Nor a gift.” Elphaba strode into the other room, Fiyero on her heels. She bent down to the young woman. “Nor?”

                The girl only looked at her blankly.

                She unwrapped the package in her hands. “I got this for you. When I was a little girl, I used to get upset. And when I did, I would hold something a good friend made for me. I thought maybe you needed something like that, too.” Elphaba held the small figurine out to Nor.

                Nor took it in her hands, running her hands over it. It was a rough etching of mother and daughter made in colored class.

                “I had it made for you.”

                “Pretty.” The little girl spoke. “Thank you, Auntie Witch.”

                Fiyero rested a hand on Elphaba’s shoulder and knelt down to his daughter. “Nor, I’ve told you not to call her that.”

                “Thank you, Elphaba.” Nor took her gift and ran off.

                “How did you know?”

                Elphaba shrugged. “I didn’t. I just thought maybe…”

                “It worked.”

                “I noticed.”

                “Thank you.”

                “Don’t.” It was her fault the little girl had been traumatized in the first place. She hadn’t done near enough.

                Fiyero drew her into his arms as they watched the children play. “We can head back tomorrow.”

                “Good. We need to clean up the palace and start making arrangements for Manek’s schooling.” These children would get the best education available to them. And that included Nor. She wouldn’t end up thinking all she was good for was childrearing. Sarima wouldn’t have wanted that.

                “You’ll never understand how happy I am that you’re coming with me, that you’re marrying me.” He told her. “I love you so much.”

                “I know.” She smiled at him. He never needed to know about the promise she’d made his wife. It didn’t change how she felt about him. It may have changed how she behaved about it, but she loved him the same either way. There was no need to burden him with her debt or guilt. She’d carry that to her grave. “And I love you.”


End file.
